I Don't Love You

Frank's POV;

Once again I sat on the couch, only this time Alliyson was on my lap. I personally, was half drunk-half sober. Mikey left the room to talk to Alicia outside, Gerard sat with Sahina, both giggling. Both Bob and Ray had their own groupie chicks smothered around them.

I pulled Alliyson's Sidekick from her back pocket. 'John' it read. I poked her side and she jumped up and giggled at the same time. I passed her the phone and she looked at it.

"Psh whatever," She mumbled and I wondered if everything wasn't fucking pecan pie in paradise.

Not that my previous sentence made any sense.

I pushed her as if telling her to stand. As soon as I did Sahina and Gerard jumped up and started dancing like drunken idiots. They started spinning around and Gerard dipped her, but they both fell on top of each other. Bob and Ray's girls giggled and Alliyson fell on me laughing. We both stood up and I went into the closet to get my hoodie again. I grabbed Alliyson's DEAD! hoodie and took her hand. I led her out the front door into the cool air. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"C'mon," She said as she interlaced our fingers and we crossed the street and ended up at a park. She led met to the kiddy part that had the swings and shit. She walked up to a slide and climbed up it with ease.

Fuck that, there was no fucking way I was going to climb up that slide.

I still had my buzz from my beers. I didn't get how she made it, and she had more than me! She sat inside the little box and gestured for me to come up. Fuck no, I thought and used the stair ladder instead. When I got up to the box at the top, I noticed she took up no room and there was room for like four Bobs. I sat next to her and slid my arm around her. She leaned against my body. I kissed the side of her head and she snuggled closer to me. Fuck, where had she been all my life? Why couldn't she have been my Demesne, and myself her John?

Fuck fuck fuck, why? I wish I just wasn't...

"Frank!" Demesne shrieked from the front of the park.

I held my breath. Please don't find me, I'm in such a good position! I prayed to the God I didn't know if existed or not.

"Frank! I know you're here! You can't hide forever! Why do you keep doing this?" She cried.

Alliyson tensed up and said, "Go to her."

I looked straight into her eyes and saw she meant it. She wanted me to come down from the box on the slide, with her cuddled up in my arms to comfort that psycho bitch!

No fucking way.

I shook my head and we listened to Demesne's pitiful cries until she finally left. I stuck my head out to make sure she was gone. Alliyson moved from our spot and sat on the other side. She looked me square in the eye.

"Tell me what's up with you and her."

I sighed, "Alliyson please..."

"No," She held her hand up to stop me, "Tell me or..."

I didn't need her finishing that sentence. In all the darkness I could see her big brown eyes pleading with me. What was she doing? What did she want to know for? Why did she need to know? I saw how she was when John called, she didn't care, and she didn't answer. So why did she need to know about my warped relationship with Demesne?

I sighed, she would find out anyway.

"When I first met Demesne she was...the most alive and caring person I had ever met. She could make anyone smile and fix any bad mood. She was one of those groupie girls, I don't know. She was part of our street team basically. When we first started out, Gerard and myself would get totally slammed. I was bordering becoming an alcoholic, as Gerard already was, y'know," I closed my eyes, remembering this like it was yesterday.

"Demesne was always the one trying to get everyone clean. She helped the both of us clean up. And then I don't know, we like...slept together. We basically started our relationship from there. But then she started getting into all this shit, taking drugs and weed, cocaine, and started drinking and partying a lot. Meanwhile the whole band has just come clean and we only smoked now. Then we find out Demesne has OCD issues and she's bi-polar so I did the therapy with her. And so now she’s really insecure and rather annoying. Like I really don't love her, and I don't know what to do with her. She's just so messed up and she’s doing all this shit around the band and it's not healthy for any of us. I don't even know why I started that freaking relationship; it's the only reason why she sticks around. She's like my adopted little sister, you know? I...my hearts just not into it anymore, if it ever was," I confessed and opened my eyes.

Alliyson was closer to me now and she took my hands in hers.

"Thank you for telling me Frankie," She whispered and I pulled her onto my lap.

I buried my head into her hair and kissed her neck softly. I just didn't want her mad at me and she deserved the right to know, in a sense. She pulled back and leaned in close to my face and flicked my lip ring with her tongue.

Damn, and here I thought she would kiss me...

I couldn't take it anymore. I pressed my lips against hers and our lip rings clicked together. I kept kissing her but then I heard very loud heavy metal.

"Alone in your circle of despair
Your dreams are discarded
Clinging to a sterile existence
Self pity and lingering grief
Depleted and beaten
Depleted and beaten!"

"Ugh," Alliyson groaned but I pulled her closer. No, she was NOT going to pick up, just like before.

I poked my tongue into her mouth but I felt her pulling away to get her phone. Our lips smacked apart and when I opened my eyes, she had answered it.

"Hello? Oh hi lovely," She said and mouthed that it was John.

I sighed loudly, running my fingers through my hair.

"John, I can't come pick you up. What makes you think I'm not out?" A pause, "Yes I have a life you know," another, "John I'm out."

I heard John shriek, "With who!"

She looked at me, "A special friend."

John spoke some more and Alliyson sighed again, "Fine we'll come get you. Bye," and she closed her Sidekick.

"We have to go get the big man," She said and kissed me as she positioned herself and slid down the slide.