Sequel: Nothings Gunna Change My World ›
Cute Is What the Gods Aim For
Four
"You know what...I actually have...homework..." I mumbled, and started walking away, I heard something hit the ground and then someone turned me around. "Nope, you can do your homework while we don't spend time studying the Bible, come on babe." Raven said, trying to pull me back across the street. I gently pulled my arm away. "No...I think it would be best if I went home." I whispered. Oh yeah, can't even tell someone like Raven to leave me alone.
"Come on Raven, I told you that he wasn't really your friend, I told you he didn't care just leave him alone." Joshua said, I wanted to turn around and smack him but violence wasn't our way. So I just kept walking. "You think this is because he doesn't want to be seen with me? YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" Smack. "THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU!" Smack. "BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO BE NICE TO SOMEONE WHO'S TRYING TO LIKE YOU!" Boom.
Raven ran in front of me and I grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry, let's go." I said and she nodded. She smiled up at me like a little kid, it was sweet like she was completely trusting. I don't remember when I was completely trusting.
"Okay Kevin, your parents have arranged for us to talk like this every week." Reverend Davis told me. I looked up at him, terrified. Every week? This had happened three times and I was already having nightmares about it.
We walked out of the Reverend's office at the church and my parents were waiting for me with smile's on their faces. I wonder if they knew. I wonder if everyone was in on this and I was the only one who wanted it to stop. "Who is Moses?" The Reverend asked me, I looked up at him. I had
no idea who Moses is. "He built the ark, study him tonight buddy." He said patting me on the head. I screamed and then put my hand over my mouth, good little boys don't scream when the Reverend touches them. My parents looked at me like I was some form of Satan and the Reverend looked ashamed. "It looks like he'll have to come in two times a week instead, he really needs me more then I thought." The Reverend said and I shook my head. No it was already too much.
I looked up to my parents faces, they were so excited.
"Are you okay?" Raven asked me and I nodded, how come the memories I had worked so hard to suppress were coming back now? I didn't want them back! I didn't want them at all!!
"Okie dokie..." She said and started skipping to the church. I ran to run to keep our hands from being pulled apart. "I love skipping." She said when we were in front of the door. I opened it and let her go in ahead of me,"Why?" I asked, walking through the sanctuary and up to the stage,"Because...it's like being free...like you can run forever-you don't need to stop like the wind will take you away from all of your problems." She said thoughtfully and I stopped looking for the light switch, those were the prettiest words I had ever heard.
Yeah they came out of a girl with bubble-gum pink hair.
The lights came on and I looked across the stage to see Reverend Davis, who was holding Joshua's shoulder. "Kevin, it's nice to see you trying to get your study time in but I would suggest you don't do it with these two." He said, winking at me and walking away. I shuddered and sat down in the middle of the stage.
Raven sat next to me, opening her bag and pulling licorice out. "You want some?" She asked and I shook my head,"I'm not allowed to eat sugar..." I whispered hoping she hadn't heard. She did. "You're not allowed to eat sugar? Come on Babe, eat some candy." She laughed putting some chocolate, licorice, and lollipops into my hand. I looked at Joshua, he was developing a bruise on his left cheek, about the size of Raven's hand. "I'm sorry hun, but you're an ass." She said gently poking his bruise. He flinched away and sat down in one of the choir chairs.
Raven pulled out her homework and started working on it, I decided to do the same. "Kevin, can you help me?" She asked, looking at me wide-eyed. I looked down at her work. Creative Writing.
"You have to write a short story?" I asked and she nodded. "Well...you could write about...someone who's free, like free as a bird can go where ever they want and do whatever they want, be whatever they want, say whatever they want and then...they get stuck here." I said and Raven giggled,"Are you describing me Mr. Jones?" She asked and I smiled,"Maybe." I said, pulling my notebook out and started doing math problems.
"That's a load of crap." Joshua said, getting up and walking over to where we were sitting.
"Oh really, why?" Raven asked, looking up at him with intensity. "Because he's just trying to get you to have sex with him, Michelle. He doesn't believe in anything he just said, he just knows that you do-he loves it here. He practically is God." Joshua said, plopping down. I shook my head, this hadn't been a good idea. "How do you know Joshua-Wier?" She said using his middle name. "Look at him, look at who he is...why did you ever try?" He asked with a sharp tone added to his soft voice.
I had gathered my things now. I just needed to go home...and pray, because my mom thought it was really special when I prayed so hard I cried-truth is I used that as an excuse to cry my eyes out.
I stood up and Raven latched herself onto my leg, hugging it for dear life. "Ask him." She said, her candy was neatly piled up next to her bag-I didn't want her to run out, they only sold candy around holidays here. "Why did you say those things?" Joshua asked, looking up at me-uninterested.
"Maybe I said them because I mean them, I don't want to have sex with Raven. One I'm a virgin and I'm waiting until I'm with y-married." I said, shaking Raven off and running out of the church.
I had almost said 'with you'. That would not have been good. Not good at all.
I ran all the way home and into my room. My mom walked up. "Kevin, do you want your snack?" She asked, opening my door, it was times like this that I wish I had a lock. Tears were pouring down my face. She walked in and hugged me, I wanted her away from me, I wanted her to leave me alone. "You went to Bible study?" She asked and I nodded. "Well then I'll leave you alone, and I'll tell your father to leave you alone too." She said, getting off of my bed and walking out of my room. I crawled up to where my pillows were and lying my head down, crying into it.
An hour later my tears wouldn't come anymore but I was hugging my knees, looking at the white wall in front of me. Everything was so clean, so prefect.
Knock, knock. "Mom I'm not hungry...God's told me to fast." I yelled, the door opened anyways and my Dad was standing in front of someone,"She says you're her new friend..." He said letting Raven into my room. "We're going to go get some food." She said as soon as my dad closed the door and was down the hallway. "I'm really not hungry." I said and she shook her head,"I don't care you haven't eaten anything all day." I raised an eyebrow at her, how did she know I hadn't eaten breakfast? "Your mom was telling your dad about your food in the garbage when I came in." She shrugged and I laughed.
"There's no restaurants around here-everyone believes in family time in the home." I said, pulling my shoes on regardless.
I walked over to my door and I was about to open it when Raven tackled me to the ground. She was on top of me and she put her finger to her lips. "I am going to leave and I am going to tell your parents that you looked sick and you were falling asleep and that they should probably leave you alone and let you go to sleep and then you are going to sneak out the window." She said and I looked at her. "Wouldn't it be easier to say I was going over to your house to help you finish homework?" I asked, shocked that I could think of a lie that fast. Raven shook her head,"That could involve a phone call." She said and I nodded.
She got off of me and walked out of my door, I walked over to my window and waited until Raven was outside in the yard, she smiled up and me and I opened my window with ease.
I swung my leg out and then my other one, getting down was going to be the hard part. My room was on the second story of the house.
"Come on, you're so tall that if you hang off your feet will almost touch the ground." Raven hissed, trying to be quiet. I did what she said and she was right, I was tall enough to be able to let go and just plop down on the ground as if I was walking down stairs. "Okay, come on darling." She said grabbing my hand and pulling me away from my house and to the edge of town. "Where are we going?" I asked and Raven just kept running through trees. Yeah, we were in the forest now. There's a forrest all around our town and there's stories that are told so we don't go wandering in them.
"I don't think we're supposed to be here..." I said referring to the trespassing signs that were everywhere.
"Kevin relax...you need to have fun-do you know that?" She asked and I gulped, I knew that but having fun had never been more terrifing in my life. It's like the one thing I'm not sure how to do.
"Come on Raven, I told you that he wasn't really your friend, I told you he didn't care just leave him alone." Joshua said, I wanted to turn around and smack him but violence wasn't our way. So I just kept walking. "You think this is because he doesn't want to be seen with me? YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" Smack. "THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU!" Smack. "BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO BE NICE TO SOMEONE WHO'S TRYING TO LIKE YOU!" Boom.
Raven ran in front of me and I grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry, let's go." I said and she nodded. She smiled up at me like a little kid, it was sweet like she was completely trusting. I don't remember when I was completely trusting.
"Okay Kevin, your parents have arranged for us to talk like this every week." Reverend Davis told me. I looked up at him, terrified. Every week? This had happened three times and I was already having nightmares about it.
We walked out of the Reverend's office at the church and my parents were waiting for me with smile's on their faces. I wonder if they knew. I wonder if everyone was in on this and I was the only one who wanted it to stop. "Who is Moses?" The Reverend asked me, I looked up at him. I had
no idea who Moses is. "He built the ark, study him tonight buddy." He said patting me on the head. I screamed and then put my hand over my mouth, good little boys don't scream when the Reverend touches them. My parents looked at me like I was some form of Satan and the Reverend looked ashamed. "It looks like he'll have to come in two times a week instead, he really needs me more then I thought." The Reverend said and I shook my head. No it was already too much.
I looked up to my parents faces, they were so excited.
"Are you okay?" Raven asked me and I nodded, how come the memories I had worked so hard to suppress were coming back now? I didn't want them back! I didn't want them at all!!
"Okie dokie..." She said and started skipping to the church. I ran to run to keep our hands from being pulled apart. "I love skipping." She said when we were in front of the door. I opened it and let her go in ahead of me,"Why?" I asked, walking through the sanctuary and up to the stage,"Because...it's like being free...like you can run forever-you don't need to stop like the wind will take you away from all of your problems." She said thoughtfully and I stopped looking for the light switch, those were the prettiest words I had ever heard.
Yeah they came out of a girl with bubble-gum pink hair.
The lights came on and I looked across the stage to see Reverend Davis, who was holding Joshua's shoulder. "Kevin, it's nice to see you trying to get your study time in but I would suggest you don't do it with these two." He said, winking at me and walking away. I shuddered and sat down in the middle of the stage.
Raven sat next to me, opening her bag and pulling licorice out. "You want some?" She asked and I shook my head,"I'm not allowed to eat sugar..." I whispered hoping she hadn't heard. She did. "You're not allowed to eat sugar? Come on Babe, eat some candy." She laughed putting some chocolate, licorice, and lollipops into my hand. I looked at Joshua, he was developing a bruise on his left cheek, about the size of Raven's hand. "I'm sorry hun, but you're an ass." She said gently poking his bruise. He flinched away and sat down in one of the choir chairs.
Raven pulled out her homework and started working on it, I decided to do the same. "Kevin, can you help me?" She asked, looking at me wide-eyed. I looked down at her work. Creative Writing.
"You have to write a short story?" I asked and she nodded. "Well...you could write about...someone who's free, like free as a bird can go where ever they want and do whatever they want, be whatever they want, say whatever they want and then...they get stuck here." I said and Raven giggled,"Are you describing me Mr. Jones?" She asked and I smiled,"Maybe." I said, pulling my notebook out and started doing math problems.
"That's a load of crap." Joshua said, getting up and walking over to where we were sitting.
"Oh really, why?" Raven asked, looking up at him with intensity. "Because he's just trying to get you to have sex with him, Michelle. He doesn't believe in anything he just said, he just knows that you do-he loves it here. He practically is God." Joshua said, plopping down. I shook my head, this hadn't been a good idea. "How do you know Joshua-Wier?" She said using his middle name. "Look at him, look at who he is...why did you ever try?" He asked with a sharp tone added to his soft voice.
I had gathered my things now. I just needed to go home...and pray, because my mom thought it was really special when I prayed so hard I cried-truth is I used that as an excuse to cry my eyes out.
I stood up and Raven latched herself onto my leg, hugging it for dear life. "Ask him." She said, her candy was neatly piled up next to her bag-I didn't want her to run out, they only sold candy around holidays here. "Why did you say those things?" Joshua asked, looking up at me-uninterested.
"Maybe I said them because I mean them, I don't want to have sex with Raven. One I'm a virgin and I'm waiting until I'm with y-married." I said, shaking Raven off and running out of the church.
I had almost said 'with you'. That would not have been good. Not good at all.
I ran all the way home and into my room. My mom walked up. "Kevin, do you want your snack?" She asked, opening my door, it was times like this that I wish I had a lock. Tears were pouring down my face. She walked in and hugged me, I wanted her away from me, I wanted her to leave me alone. "You went to Bible study?" She asked and I nodded. "Well then I'll leave you alone, and I'll tell your father to leave you alone too." She said, getting off of my bed and walking out of my room. I crawled up to where my pillows were and lying my head down, crying into it.
An hour later my tears wouldn't come anymore but I was hugging my knees, looking at the white wall in front of me. Everything was so clean, so prefect.
Knock, knock. "Mom I'm not hungry...God's told me to fast." I yelled, the door opened anyways and my Dad was standing in front of someone,"She says you're her new friend..." He said letting Raven into my room. "We're going to go get some food." She said as soon as my dad closed the door and was down the hallway. "I'm really not hungry." I said and she shook her head,"I don't care you haven't eaten anything all day." I raised an eyebrow at her, how did she know I hadn't eaten breakfast? "Your mom was telling your dad about your food in the garbage when I came in." She shrugged and I laughed.
"There's no restaurants around here-everyone believes in family time in the home." I said, pulling my shoes on regardless.
I walked over to my door and I was about to open it when Raven tackled me to the ground. She was on top of me and she put her finger to her lips. "I am going to leave and I am going to tell your parents that you looked sick and you were falling asleep and that they should probably leave you alone and let you go to sleep and then you are going to sneak out the window." She said and I looked at her. "Wouldn't it be easier to say I was going over to your house to help you finish homework?" I asked, shocked that I could think of a lie that fast. Raven shook her head,"That could involve a phone call." She said and I nodded.
She got off of me and walked out of my door, I walked over to my window and waited until Raven was outside in the yard, she smiled up and me and I opened my window with ease.
I swung my leg out and then my other one, getting down was going to be the hard part. My room was on the second story of the house.
"Come on, you're so tall that if you hang off your feet will almost touch the ground." Raven hissed, trying to be quiet. I did what she said and she was right, I was tall enough to be able to let go and just plop down on the ground as if I was walking down stairs. "Okay, come on darling." She said grabbing my hand and pulling me away from my house and to the edge of town. "Where are we going?" I asked and Raven just kept running through trees. Yeah, we were in the forest now. There's a forrest all around our town and there's stories that are told so we don't go wandering in them.
"I don't think we're supposed to be here..." I said referring to the trespassing signs that were everywhere.
"Kevin relax...you need to have fun-do you know that?" She asked and I gulped, I knew that but having fun had never been more terrifing in my life. It's like the one thing I'm not sure how to do.