Status: if you ever had to deal with abuse you better NOT read this bcs it may be triggering
my diary 03-04-13
monday 15-04-13
monday 15-04-13
dear diary
today is monday everybody hates monday..... idk why bcs i hate all days of my life bcs i am alive...
but yeah so today i saw melanie going to school she is soooooo damn beautifull my heart is beating like 100 times faster when i see her :) i didn't eat today my mom didn't bring anything so yeah not that i care i wouldn't even eat it if she did i hate food!! but the good thing is i didn't cut today it was hard bcs i really wanted thought but I sought distraction and that helped so i didn't cut. i dared myself to stay 5 days clean (never that's gonna happen) but i just wanna take a try.
so my mom had to go to her work today so i was home alone and she couldn't do anything for one entire day it doens't happen often that she has to work so i'm glad she had to today. it was for one day quiet one day without yelling 'YOU'RE JUST A FAILURE AND WORTHLESS YOU BETTER DIE!!' i guess i liked today i really miss my daddy he's in germany right now he is coming back in 6 days (i think) en he stays home for 3 days so that's 3 days full off hugs kisses and no slapping, beating and yelling :) i really hope he's coming back a few days earlyer bcs that means he can stay more days! he promised me he would buy a souvenir for me :) the bad thing is my whole body is full with bruises and scratches and my dad doesn't even know my mom abuses me.... so i have to think of some gammon and spinach before he comes home....
but i think i hear my mom coming home so i'm going! bye guys xo alexander
dear diary
today is monday everybody hates monday..... idk why bcs i hate all days of my life bcs i am alive...
but yeah so today i saw melanie going to school she is soooooo damn beautifull my heart is beating like 100 times faster when i see her :) i didn't eat today my mom didn't bring anything so yeah not that i care i wouldn't even eat it if she did i hate food!! but the good thing is i didn't cut today it was hard bcs i really wanted thought but I sought distraction and that helped so i didn't cut. i dared myself to stay 5 days clean (never that's gonna happen) but i just wanna take a try.
so my mom had to go to her work today so i was home alone and she couldn't do anything for one entire day it doens't happen often that she has to work so i'm glad she had to today. it was for one day quiet one day without yelling 'YOU'RE JUST A FAILURE AND WORTHLESS YOU BETTER DIE!!' i guess i liked today i really miss my daddy he's in germany right now he is coming back in 6 days (i think) en he stays home for 3 days so that's 3 days full off hugs kisses and no slapping, beating and yelling :) i really hope he's coming back a few days earlyer bcs that means he can stay more days! he promised me he would buy a souvenir for me :) the bad thing is my whole body is full with bruises and scratches and my dad doesn't even know my mom abuses me.... so i have to think of some gammon and spinach before he comes home....
but i think i hear my mom coming home so i'm going! bye guys xo alexander