The Homo Society

The following Monday came with a welcomed and pleasant surprise. I had taken my usual lunch seat near the far wall at an empty table. No one ever sat here with me, though sometimes a random few would sit across from me just because the room was too full. They would never address me and I would never speak, but I loved watching them. It sounds horribly creepy, but I enjoyed watching their interactions because it was sort of like studying an alien species; the socialite. Anyway, after I had taken my seat and began eating, a few moments later, the seats on either side of me were taken.

"You don't mind if we sit here, do you?" asked the Lab Rat. I blinked really hard at first, not truly believing what was taking place. The meeting that had gone on Friday night almost seemed like a misplaced dream, only to be drug to the surface of my mind now. At first I couldn't see any truth to this at all, as if it had all been one huge lie that my conscience had told me so that I didn't feel quite so lonely. However, when I glanced to the other side of me and saw Alphonse, I knew that I was indeed awake and that this was a truthful reality.

"Um, no. I guess not."

Lab Rat smiled and I nodded in return with some sort of a smile plaguing my lips, or at least I tried. We honestly didn't say anything after that. The two of us began eating while Alphonse unpacked his sack lunch in front of him and lined the contents up so that they were all evenly in one straight line. He also organized them by height and spaced them equally apart; bottle of lemonade, apple, sandwich, napkin. I did find it slightly curious but I didn't say anything. It wasn't important; quirks are quirks.

It took me half the lunch period of silently eating before I finally realized what was happening. These boys came to sit with me of their own free will because of the group, but more specifically, what Declan had promised the group would do; create bonds between us. I hadn't considered anyone else could be as lonely as I was, which is a very selfish thought but I thought it anyway, but here they were; the gay science nerd and the quirky freshman. No one wanted to befriend either of them, and no one wanted to befriend me, so we would befriend each other. They had a distinct lack of friends and just like myself, that meeting had given them a small dose of courage and much larger shot of hope.

"So, uh," Alphonse began after finally organizing his lunch. "Did Declan say when the next meeting would be?"

I shrugged and Stuart couldn't find any answers to offer. I could tell that Alphonse knew that neither of us would have an answer but I could see the underlying tactic; conversation starting. After examining conversations rather than having them, I had become all too good at detecting hidden motives and lies.

"No, but I do hope it's soon. I liked hanging out with everyone," Stuart commented. They both looked at me for two seconds and a half approximately with expectation lining their eyes.

"I, uh, yeah. I had a good time."

From there a completely introverted and awkward as hell conversation was born. We spoke in breif sentences with a recognizable pause between each speaker, but hell, it was the first conversation with a 'friend' that I'd had in quite some time and I was happy to be in. Stuart began speaking about science documentaries he'd recently watched, which lead him to explain his new love for Roman history documentaries, which was uncharacteristic for him (or so he told us.) I chimed in with my love for anime. My new lunch-mates knew what that was and I was relieved. They didn't watch it themselves but they knew of it and liked that I was so passionate about something. Alphonse then went onto his explain for filming his own footage and Lab Rat and I were very compelled by this, having no exceptional talents ourselves.

"It's nothing really," he said, "You just point it at things." He nervously fixed his short brown hair, and pushed it up. He always styled it that, from what I seem to remember about him in my English class. It lets you see more of his bright-eyed face, leaving you feel more innocent just for gazing onto him.

"Yeah, but it's the fact that you like doing it that makes it truly amazing," I smiled at him. "When you're passionate about something, it's never as simple as others will make it seem."

Alphonse was blushing the very same hue as the apple he'd eaten moments earlier. Stuart found my comment to be really thoughtful and told me so, admiring me for my ability to analyze things. And the more I thought about it, he was sort of right. I did analyze things. I watched things, I studied these things, I broke them down to the core, and I learned from them. I was my own sort of scientist in away, the introverted observer.

After lunch, I felt two times happier than normal and I had those two guys to thank for it, and indirectly (or possibly it was directly because of) Declan for getting us all together in the first place. Before the next class begins, I head to my locker and find Kelsey waiting there for me. She smiles sadly.

"I'm so sorry I had to cancel Friday," she said yet again.

"No, uh, don't worry about. Really."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I ended up making other plans," I said with ease and confidence. She cocked her head with a smile I could tell wasn't exactly genuine. She was surprised. Happy for me nonetheless, but surprised. I felt a little offended, though I knew she had every reason to be taken back. Since when did I have other friends to fall back on.

"Oh yeah? That's awesome," she smiled, forgetting that she had become so shocked. She was proud of me but also relieved. I could feel it now, the burden I truly had been to her. I always had expected as much. However, a truth you have only suspected (no matter how long you've had to come to terms with it) is still a hard truth.

"Yeah, so, uh, I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, definitely."

But we both knew this was not the truth. It was not a lie, but it was not a truth. It was a goodbye. We would see each other now and again but I was no longer her responsibility. As much as we loved each other, it was long past the time for me to move on. I had been a wounded bird she'd nursed to health and when it came to feel better, it was too afraid to leave the nest again. But now my wings feel strong and I can easily take flight. Metaphorically, of course.

Maybe flying away from the birds you used to know isn't a terrible thing, you know? You can fly away with the warm thermals beneath your feathers and the horizon suddenly seems much more promising. Congratulations, Kingsley, I told myself as I thought of my new friends. Your wing isn't broken any more.