I (Don't) Need Your Forgiveness

Four hours later, I was looking through a glass window at my beloved Twiggy. He was sleeping and he looked like Hell, but he was alive. I walked into the little room, and pulled up the chair beside his bed. I reached for his bony little hand, and carefully stroked his fingers. He looked like a little porcelain doll lying there, so innocent and beautiful.
“Hi, Twiggy. You can keep your eyes closed. I just want you to know that I’m here.”
He didn’t react in the slightest, so I continued.
“I’m so sorry for what happened. I never thought that you wouldn’t come back in the morning. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I was just scared. I’m not, now. I know that the only thing I’m afraid of is losing you. I love you, Twiggy. So much. I’ll understand if you hate me for letting this happen to you, but I promise, if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, proving to you how much I love you.”
He opened his eyes, but they were dull and tired. There was no golden sparkle, and he looked too exhausted to really understand my words.
“Marilyn…” he murmured weakly.
“I’m here, Twiggy.”
“Go on.”
I looked down at him. “What, baby?”
“Go on, without me.”
“How so?”
“Go back to the band. I’ll be okay.”
I gently toyed with a few of his dreadlocks. “I’m right where I want to be, with you.”
“No…they need you.”
“We all need you.”
He exhaled deeply. “I’m so tired.”
“I know. You’re very sick.”
“I’m dead,” he murmured listlessly, his eyes falling shut.
“No, Twiggy, you’re alive.”
“I’m dead…you’re here. You can’t be here. You let me…” his head lolled to the side, and he was fading in and out.
I squeezed his hand a bit tighter. “I know. I did a terrible thing, letting you go. I can’t begin to tell you how very sorry I am.”
His dark eyes opened again, and he looked up at me with a sense of childlike wonder.
I reached to gently stroke his pale, grayish cheek. “It’s over now, Jeordie. I’m through with the violence and the moods. I will never hurt you again. I understand now, that you’re the most important thing in my world. Nearly losing you made it all clear. I can’t do this without you, you beautiful little weirdo. You’re my best friend, and I love you. I love you, Jeordie. Do you hear me?”
“Mmm,” he murmured tiredly, blinking a few times.
I leaned over him, and ever so gently rested my forehead against his. “I love you. I will tell you this until you understand, until you believe that it’s true.”
When I pulled back and looked at him again, he was smiling, and the sparkle was back in his eyes. I knew in that moment that he understood me. It was somehow all going to be okay.