A Daydream Away

Eventually everyone went to their respective houses, aside from Rian who needed to talk to Alex.

“So, are you going to tell me why you hate, Josh?…Well I know why, but I want you to admit it.”
Alex shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with Rian. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t hate Josh…” he really didn't; hate was a strong word. He’d just much rather the guy stays away from Jack and go back to where he came from.
Rian sighed, “Okay maybe not hate, but it’s clear you don’t like Josh… because it’s clear he likes Jack.”
Alex glared at him before snapping, “He doesn't even fucking know him! He can’t like him, he just met Jack—I’ve known him my whole life! He’s mine!”
“Hate to burst your bubble, Alex, but he’s not. He could be, though. The boy’s crazy about you, and that seems to be clear to everyone besides you.”
“It is clear, Ri,” Alex’s voice softened as he looked down at the ground once more. “He’s my world; I love him more than anything. He’s my best friend, don’t you think I’d do anything to make it more?”
“Then why don’t you?” Rian retorted.
“Because! These things never fucking last! One of us would fuck up and I’d lose him for good.” Alex fired back.
“Or things would work out and you’d spend the rest of your lives madly in love.”
Alex let out a bitter laugh, “Right, because everyone knows that’s how high school romances work. This isn’t a fucking Lifetime movie. I would screw it up somehow and lose the love of my life and my best friend all in one. It’s so hard sometimes to hold it in and not love him the way I want to. Every time I look at him it hurts, Rian!” His voice became thick; words getting caught in his throat. He smiled sadly and shook his head, eyes once again burning holes in the floor. “But I’d rather feel like that and still have him in my life, than to ever live without him.”
By the time he had finished, he was furiously wiping at his eyes as tears rapidly spilled over. Rian watched with a sympathetic expression before hugging his friend close, doing his best to comfort him.

Alex clung to him, giving up any attempt to stifle his sobbing, “I love him so much” he croaked out as another wave of tears hit him. “Someone’s going to take him away from me—Josh is going to take him away from me and I can’t do a fucking thing to stop it. Jack is going to fall in love with someone else and all I can do is watch.”
“That person could easily be yo-“
Alex jerked away from him as if his words had burned him. “Don’t even say that; you know it can’t.” He spat venomously.
“No, Alex. I don’t know that,” he disputed, his words hastening and voice becoming impatient. “Nobody ever knows what’s going to happened when they fall for someone, but you can’t just deny yourself a chance at love because you’re scared.”
Alex didn't say anything else after that. Rian had to leave anyhow, though he felt as though he’d made his point.
Alex laid in his bed staring at the picture of him and Jack—a habit he found himself often guilty of—and settled into a state of daydreams where nothing could hurt them.

Jack was lounged on the couch in his living room, mindlessly flipping through channels and debating whether or not he should text Alex. Just as he reached for his phone, it started to ring. He didn't recognize the number, but answered anyway.
“Hello?”
“Jack! It Josh.” The voice boomed back.
“Oh hey! I didn't know who it was,” he explained. “How’d you get my number?”
“I got it off Zack, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Nah, of course not,” Jack replied cheerily. The two chattered aimlessly for quite a while before Josh cleared his throat,
“So, uhm. I have a question. Why does Alex seem to hate me already?”
“I’m sure he doesn't, Alex rarely hates people.”
“It’s just his comments yesterday and today, and all the glares. He looks ready to kill me” Josh reasoned.
“Oh come on! Alex wouldn't hurt a fly, I’m sure you’re just misconstruing things” He waved his hand dismissively, despite Josh not being able to see it.
“I don’t know, he kind of seems like a jerk.”
“He’s not a jerk. You don’t know shit about him.” Jack snapped, his anger growing.
“Whoa, sorry man, I’m just saying.”
Jack sighed, calming himself before continuing.“Well don’t say that, it’s nothing personal. Nobody’s allowed to talk shit on my- uhm Alex.”
“My?” Josh inquired.
Jack chucked nervously, “Yeah, ‘my’, as in my best friend. Look, I have to go—I’ll see you tomorrow.” He quickly hung up the phone, embarrassed by his slip-up.

He knew it was a little too obvious to most people that his feelings for Alex stretched far beyond friendship. That didn't mean he liked admitting it. He wasn't ashamed in the least, though; Alex was gorgeous. Funny, smart—and incredibly talented. He was just perfect in so many ways. No, liking Alex certainly wasn't a problem. It fact, they went unrequited.

***

The next day passed quickly, and before they knew it they were gathered around the lunch table. Things were slightly awkward for Jack—sitting between Alex and Josh, shooting glares each other’s way, each biding for his attention. Alex had their arms linked together, head resting on Jacks shoulder. It wasn't at all unusual for them, but it was clear that Josh didn't like it. Poor Zack and Rian were caught up in all the uncomfortable stares and silences.
“So what’s everybody doing this weekend?” Zack prompted in an attempt to start conversation.
Josh smiled,
“Well actually, I was going to ask Jack if he’d like to see a movie Friday. You interested?” he asked, turning his smile at Jack.
Alex couldn't stop himself from cutting in,
“We spend every weekend together.”
Jack bit his lip in thought, not liking to upset people.
“Well, nights yes, but we spend the days with Rian and Zack too.”
Josh smiled at Alex smugly,
“So you can go then, Jack?”
Jack nodded slightly, “yeah, that sounds great.”
Before he could get the sentence out, Alex had pulled away harshly and stood from the table; throwing his untouched lunch in the trash before hurrying out the door.