The Migratory Patterns of the Hikey German Family
1-Age 16
The moments leading up to that goodbye come back in flashes of yelling. In a crystal clear echo of my mom's scream to call 911 and that weekend my big brother spent in a jail cell. They wouldn't let me see him, my parents. I sat in the car staring at my phone screen pretending I wasn't sitting outside of the dark gray building that held something it never should have.
Freshman year came rushing forward like a title wave and mom decided he would be better with the man who helped create us in Texas. "He needs men." She explained. I kept my mouth shut. There was no point in questioning her choice.
I laid in bed that night, the one when she told me he was leaving, on the phone with the boy I thought was my forever. He, from 500 miles away told me we were abandoning Riley. As if he knew. As if he was here everyday and had to deal with the yelling. I was here. I was so used to the yelling I could tune it out. I told him this. Told Reece, the boy, he didn't know shit about this.
I looked up at Riley and smiled. I had nothing to say. What should I say? He was leaving and something about that left me wordless. me, the writer since before I could remember stood there looking up at him with nothing inside. I was numb. I didn't really feel like it was all ending. If I'd of known I would have grabbed him and never left him get on that stupid plane, but I didn't know... I nodded and climbed into the car and waved. He was in Texas by the time I got home from school. I walked in the door and waited, waited without even realizing what I was waiting for... Now I realize I was waiting for Lindey, our dog who died months before. I waited for Riley to come bounding down the steps and say hi to me. Neither of which happened. I was greeted by ear shattering silence... I shook my head, pushing the thoughts away. I sat down in the living room and tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness; impossible.
I remember sitting in silence at dinner and seeing a family walking... no hiking down the street. I tilted my head confused. That was the first time we saw them.
Freshman year came rushing forward like a title wave and mom decided he would be better with the man who helped create us in Texas. "He needs men." She explained. I kept my mouth shut. There was no point in questioning her choice.
I laid in bed that night, the one when she told me he was leaving, on the phone with the boy I thought was my forever. He, from 500 miles away told me we were abandoning Riley. As if he knew. As if he was here everyday and had to deal with the yelling. I was here. I was so used to the yelling I could tune it out. I told him this. Told Reece, the boy, he didn't know shit about this.
I looked up at Riley and smiled. I had nothing to say. What should I say? He was leaving and something about that left me wordless. me, the writer since before I could remember stood there looking up at him with nothing inside. I was numb. I didn't really feel like it was all ending. If I'd of known I would have grabbed him and never left him get on that stupid plane, but I didn't know... I nodded and climbed into the car and waved. He was in Texas by the time I got home from school. I walked in the door and waited, waited without even realizing what I was waiting for... Now I realize I was waiting for Lindey, our dog who died months before. I waited for Riley to come bounding down the steps and say hi to me. Neither of which happened. I was greeted by ear shattering silence... I shook my head, pushing the thoughts away. I sat down in the living room and tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness; impossible.
I remember sitting in silence at dinner and seeing a family walking... no hiking down the street. I tilted my head confused. That was the first time we saw them.