Nothings Gunna Change My World

Raven's Point of View;
Everyone's been acting really weird lately... Kevin is avoiding me as if I were the plague, Joshua only comes out of his room long enough to get more booze, to go to the city and buy his drugs. Daisy isn't as perky as normal, Kevin's house seems dark now-a-days... I don't like being there anymore, and it used to be my favorite place to be. The only time I don't feel like I'm drifting into space like a balloon someone let go of is when Jason comes around, which isn't as much as it used to be.
"Hey Raven," Mike said, sitting next to me on the ground outside the church, Mike was alright... since he admitted to the world that he was gay, he wasn't so horrible to be around anymore. "Hi Mike," I said, looking up into the cloud, discerning the shapes they made against the brilliant blue sky. "You seem kind of down," He said and I laughed softly, "Yeah, well... you know, it's been kind of one of those... months," I said and Mike nodded, "I know what you mean. Everyone's been blowing me off." He said, and I looked at him, "You too?" I asked and he nodded. "Gosh, Mike... how did everything get so fucked up so fast? I mean... Joshua is still doing drugs, Kevin is selling them to him, they're both so fucked and Daisy? Where the fuck did she even come from? And why the hell is Kevin all over her all the fucking time? My life is so confusing, before I got here I never worried this much about anything." I sighed and wiped away some tears that had managed to fall while I ranted. Mike wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close, "Everything is going to turn out okay, I mean... it has to doesn't it?" He asked and I snorted, "Not necessarily, Mike-ims." With that I wrapped my arms around his middle and lie my head on his shoulder, and we both looked up at the clouds in silence.
When the sun started setting Mike walked me home, kissed my cheek and blushed while he walked away. I watched him go before going inside, Joshua was waiting for me. "Was that Mike?" Joshua asked me, he was sitting in the couch without anything but his boxer shorts on, a bottle open in his right hand, pills scattered across the coffee table in front of him, cans and bottles and glass trays reeking of burnt tobacco. "Oh my gosh, Joshua, it's a mess in here! This is disgusting!" Joshua shrugged and scratched his leg. I started cleaning up. "What are these?" I asked picking up a handful of the round, white pills that seemed to be everywhere. "Oxycontin," He giggled and took a drink from his bottle, "How many did you take?" I demanded, "Not enough," He whispered and chugged down the rest of the sickly sweet smelly liquid before closing his eyes and letting his head fall forward, the empty bottle falling onto the floor. I dropped the pills and looked at my cousin, passed out cold. It scared me. My mother used to do this, it brought back painful memories that I tried to not think about at all, ever.
I dragged Joshua into the bathroom and dumped into the bathtub and turned on the shower, cold water, and let it pour on him, he screamed and sat up, "What the fuck, Michelle?!" He asked, trying to get up and failing. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you kill yourself Joshua," I sat on the floor while pushing his hair out his face, he started crying and lied back down against the teal tile of the shower, I kept rubbing his head, and playing with his hair while he cried, " I love you, hun... I don't know what's wrong, and I doubt you'd even tell me... but I love you and I can't just sit here and watch you destroy yourself... it's destroying me too." I whispered and he cried even harder. "Daisy and Kevin are having a baby," He whispered and my hand fell. Did he just say...? No, no way. "What, sweetheart?" I asked, praying he was just really fucked up and didn't know what he was saying.
"My life is already destroyed, they're going to have a baby and a family and be together forever and I have nothing, I don't know what to do with myself." He hugged his knees to his chest and sobbed. I stood up, furious. How could Kevin do this? How could that slut Daisy do this? These are MY boys, she can't fuck everything up like this. I turned off the water and helped Joshua get into bed. I tucked him in and kissed his forehead, he fell asleep almost instantly and I left. I was going to have some words with some people.
"Raven, how are you sweetie? I'm just on my way out, I have a date," Kevin's mother said smiling, as she opened the door after I knocked on it. "Not so great, is Kevin home?" I asked and she nodded, letting me in. "He's up in his room with the girls." She said and closed the door behind me, a minute later I heard her get into her car and leave. I took a deep breath and walked up the stairs slowly to Kevin's room. I threw open the door. Miley and Massie were sitting on her bed, Kevin and Daisy were cuddling on his. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" I screamed, Miley and Massie jumped up, "That's our cue to leave..." Massie muttered as they both scooted past me. Kevin sat up, "Raven, I-I-I-I can ex-ex-expl-explain." He stuttered, I slammed the bedroom door closed behind me and looked at both of them. "You can explain? Explain how you broke my cousin's heart? Explain why that little slut is apparently pregnant with your kid when you're as gay as they make them? Explain how you're a drug dealing scum bag who I can't even recognize anymore? Go ahead explain it, Kevin."
"Don't call her that," He whispered and I scoffed, "What should I call her then? Whore? Harlot? Heathen? Home wrecker?" Daisy had started crying amd Kevin grabbed her hand, "Michelle," He said softly and I slapped him, "Don't call me that." I said, a threat in my tone, "Michelle, you don't understand... I..." I slapped him again and hit him over and over and over again, I wasn't able to stop until Daisy pushed me off of him. I started hitting her, "How could you come here and do this to us?!" I demanded as I hit her again and again. "I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" She screamed, trying to cover her face up, I fell off of her and onto the floor breathing heavily. Daisy sat up and scooted into the corner, Kevin looked at me like he'd never really seen me before. I started crying and Kevin scooted toward me, "Daisy, can we have a minute alone?" He asked and she nodded, getting up and wiping her face as she walked out of the room.
"I don't understand, Kevin," I said quietly, looking at him, so close to me, my best friend, my cousin's soul mate, the sweetest soul I'd ever met. "I don't know what to say... she saw us kissing, and she was so upset and I couldn't let her leave, I wanted to take care of her like you took care of me." He said and I laughed, "Look how well that turned out," I leaned my head against his and sighed. "She's like Joshua in almost every way... except, you know, the vagina, and the fact that she doesn't get mad at me for everything I do wrong... it's nice, I don't have to worry about her leaving me." He said quietly and I looked into his eyes. "You think you have to worry about Joshua leaving you? He's practically trying to kill himself you hurt him so bad." I told him and looked at me, "He is?" Kevin asked me quietly and I nodded. "Is he... okay?" Kevin said slowly, "Do you care?" I asked and he looked pained at these words, "Of course I care, Raven! I don't care about anything else."
"Then why the hell are you with that girl? Why are you doing this to him? To yourself? Is she really pregnant? What are you going to do?" I asked my questions in succession, not really expecting any kind of answers. How could he answer them?
"I don't know why I'm with her... I love her, I guess, she's really been there for me. I've almost quit doing drugs. I mean I still do them... but a lot less than I used to, they scare her. And I didn't do it to hurt Joshua, I did it because I was hurting, I needed someone... I didn't want to be alone anymore. Joshua had Alec, which by the way, that guy is bad news."
"You don't have to tell me he's bad news," I said softly, running my fingers through Kevin's hair. "I know you're hurting Kevin, but I've always been here for you, fucking... always, every second of every day, just waiting for you to realize that you're not alone." He started crying after I said that and he couldn't stop. "I don't... I-I-I-I-I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't want to be a father, what if I'm bad at it? I'm in love with a boy, I... don't know what to do. Can you tell me what I should do? Please?" He was begging me, but I had no idea, either, my mom had me when she was young, she was just like Kevin, doused in doubt and fear and nursing addictions that she couldn't handle by herself, it broke her and it fucked up my entire life. I didn't know what to say so I just let him cry and complain until he had nothing else to say, spent from emotions that I knew for a fact he pushed down under a mountain of bad habits and decisions.
"How is Joshua?" He asked finally, and I shrugged, "Drunk, taking pills, probably puking by now." "Can we go and see him?" Kevin asked and I stared into his eyes, "Do you really think that that's a good idea?" I asked and Kevin shook his head, "No, not really, but I want to see him." I nodded and stood up and then helped him stand up. We made our way downstairs and left the house, ignoring everyone in the living room watching us leave.
"He's in his bedroom," I said after we got into our house. Kevin made his way there, I followed, Joshua was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling when we entered. "Can... we have a minute?" Kevin asked and I nodded, I kissed his cheek and left the room. I went into the living room and starting cleaning up the filth Joshua had left behind.