Nothings Gunna Change My World

Alec was in my art class. It was probably the biggest downside to art. I giggled, for no real reason really. I decided to have a little fun with Joshua's mind. I walked over to Alec with a sway of my hips and sat down next to him. Alec looked at me strangely but continued to sketch whatever he was sketching. I got out a pencil and some paper and drew wonky lines around on the page. "Hey Alec?"

He looked up at me. "Yeah?"

I grinned lazily. "How's Joshua in bed?"

Alec stopped what he was doing and looked at me with wide eyes. Don't ask me were that came from. I was high, I could forgive myself. He turned pink. So they had slept together. I waited for the rush of satisfaction that Joshua was a whore. But none came. Alec chewed on his nails. "Uh. Good?" He offered a weak smile that I wanted to slap off his face. I grinned despite myself.

"And how are you in bed?"

Alec frowned. "Why the hell do you care?"

I pouted. "Can't I be curious?"

Alec continued to work on his sketch. He didn't answer me which pissed me off. While his pencil was suspended in the air above his drawing I slipped it away from him. I looked at the piece of paper in front of me. It was of Joshua. He was mock-glaring at whoever was looking at the picture. Despite myself I couldn't stop looking at it. He was beautiful. Jealousy flooded my entire body and anger quickly followed. Who was this boy to draw picture of Joshua

I dropped the picture and sneered at Alec before leaving the class. To my locker. For another hit. I was immediately mellow and relaxed. I knew it was dangerous to be taking so many drugs mixed together but at the moment I couldn't care less.

I didn't bother going back to art class, I couldn't face Alec again.

The bell rang half an hour later and guess who was the first out of the class. You guessed it. Joshua was. He walked purposefully towards me. I rolled my eyes and walked away. He grabbed my arm. It hurt. "Don't run away from me Kevin."

I sneered at him. "Oh. Maybe you shouldn't have run away from me."

He glared at me. "I did not run away from you."

I snorted. "No, you just broke my heart."

Joshua narrowed his eyes. "Did you ever stop and consider my heart?"

I laughed. "You don't have a heart."

The bell rang for the next class. As I left, Joshua had a sad expression on his face which was puzzling because he never wears his emotions on his face. He always, or at least when I was around, hid them and then accuse other people of not caring. Ugh. Why the fuck did he have to ruin my day?

I sat at my computer and logged on. Raven slid in the seat next to me. "Kevin."

"Mhmm?" I didn't look up because I was trying to concentrate.

"Keviiin."

I nodded and chewed on my lip.

Raven whined. "Look at me Kevin."

I looked at her. "Whoa! What happened to your neck? Wait, wait If it involves straight sex I don't want to know."

Raven rolled her eyes and blushed. "Why are you selling drugs Kevin?"

I giggled lightly. "Why not?"

"Kevin. Its not funny."

I grinned at Raven. "I wasn't laughing at that."

She frowned. "Drugs ruin peoples lives Kevin."

I giggled again. "Yes officer Raven."

Her frown increased. "It's not fucking funny Kevin!"

The room went silent. I turned back to my computer feeling dejected. Well, not feeling because I couldn't, rather acting like I was feeling dejected. The soft buzz picked up after a few moments of complete silence. I felt Ravens hot gaze on my face. I couldn't afford to loose her.

"I'm sorry Raven."

She didn't reply for a few moments. "Stop selling them."

I nearly coughed on the air I was breathing. I raised my hand. "I need to go to the bathroom."

I didn't see Ravens expression as I walked away. Once I got to the bathroom I knocked my head against the wall. Why the fuck did this have to be such a bad day? I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand. The pain wasn't satisfying enough. I flipped over my wrist and looked at the thin white line which reminded me every single fucking day of who kissed it better. I silently screamed to myself. No matter how many fucking drugs I took, I couldn't get him out of my mind. My hands shook and I'm pretty sure that my eyes were shaking in my skull.

I took a deep breath and rammed my head into the bathroom wall. I felt little pain bubbles burst throughout my body and travel up and down my spine. I just wanted Joshua out of my mind. I started to feel dizzy. I felt kind of drunk. I grinned lazily and collapsed on the ground.

------

I blinked and into my line of vision came a floor. For a second I lay there. Why was I sleeping on the floor? I blinked again Why was I sleeping on the school bathroom floor? I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position; I sat there and let the wave of dizziness subside. My hand touched my head and I felt something sticky. I looked at my fingers to find blood. I closed my eyes, I was suddenly sleepy.

I heard the bathroom door open.

My eyes fluttered open. Joshua stood there for a moment. "What happened to you?"

I groaned. I wanted him to go away but I knew that he wouldn't. He would never leave me alone. He stepped forward. For some reason he was concerned. I closed my eyes. Why the hell did Joshua have to be so damn confusing?

"Did you faint?"

I snorted softly. "No shit, Sherlock."

Joshua frowned. "What the fuck is your problem?"

I opened my eyes. "Why don't you leave me the fuck alone?"

Confusion passed his face. "Kevin We don't talk and I never ever hardly ever see you."

I was to out of it to think. "Get out of my mind."

Joshua stared at me for a moment. "What?"

I shakily stood up on two legs. "Get the fuck out of my mind!"

Joshua stepped towards me. "Kevin"

I walked slowly. Waves of dizziness passed over me. I blocked them out. I walked past Joshua. He looked like a stunned bird. I giggled softly to myself. God I hate this. The waves grew more and at one point I couldn't see. I stopped walking and felt myself sway. I was aware of something step towards me. But as I fell they didn't move to catch me.

When I opened my eyes I saw Joshua's body leaning over mine, checking my pulse or something. I pushed myself up and looked at him. He sat back on his haunches and his hair was shading his brilliant green eyes. I closed my eyes. Shut up. Shut up mind.

I shakily got up. Joshua leapt to my side but stepped away from me when I glared at him. On unsteady legs I left the bathroom and then the school. I got outside and lit a cigarette. I gritted my teeth and walked to the bus stop into the city. I hate people.

I hate people for fucking up my day.

I hate people because I blame them for me blacking out.

I hate people because they're confusing.

I hate people because I cant get them out of my mind.

I hate people for caring.

I fucking hate people.