Country Mouse

My dad had always had the tendency to oversell various things. Exotic pets, his many girlfriends, new homes. And I always had the tendency to believe him, no matter how much my Jiminy Cricket warned me that most of those things were going to end badly. And he was right.

My pet alligator escaped from his enclosure and ate my aunt’s Pomeranian. My dad’s fourth girlfriend, Sally stole all of my jewelry, and we had to evacuate from our current home because of deadly mold. But my dad was everything to me and I hated to see him sad, so when he suggested that I should move to the city to live with my cousin for a few days, I agreed.

“It’s going to be glorious!” Dad said as I got into the taxi.

It wasn’t.

As soon as we entered the city I could see what a huge mistake this had been. There were people everywhere! There was smoke coming out of the ground, and I could have sworn I saw a rat carry off a pigeon. Not the other way around. I mean I’ve lived in the country since I was born! The worst I had seen was a hawk swoop down and try to snatch a baby! But at least that made sense!

When I got out of the taxi, I was practically shoved out of the way as two women fought to claim my former seat, and if I hadn’t have reminded the driver, I probably would have lost my bags. In the country, no one would ever do that! Well mostly because there were no taxis, but if there were, no one would steal one! I swear the country was like off brand Canada and the city was like America’s not so alter ego on steroids!

“Lindsey!” A high pitch squeal sounded above me and I looked up to see my cousin, Becky smiling down at me from a fourth floor window. “I’ll be right down!” And that was when a small detail that I had banished to the back of my mind, surfaced.

I hated Becky’s voice.

It was like rusty screws being dragged across an unwashed chalkboard, while someone continuously punched me in the face. Becky’s voice was like what a siren sounded like to a girl.
Fucking horrible. Plus she had one of those weird New York mobster's girlfriend accents.

“Oh my gosh! I have been bouncing on my toes, just waiting for ya to arrive!” My cousin screeched as she burst out of the entrance of the apartment carrying two suitcases.

“Oh are we going somewhere?” I asked “I thought we were staying here.”

“Oh you are!” She said, grabbing my hands and placing to sets of keys in them.

“Just me?”

“Oh ya, sorry sweetie. I forgot to tell ya! My boyfriend, Danny’s in a band and I’m going on tour with him! It’s going to be great! I would invite ya, but there isn’t really much room. Anyways, these are the keys to the apartment and these are the keys to the basement storage. Bye!”

And just like that she was gone.

I couldn’t believe it! Well actually I could. Becky was the ‘spontaneous’ type who neglected to give out any real information until the day of. But seriously? How inconsiderate! She knows I don’t know my way around the city and she’s leaving me on my own?

“Typical Becky, she could have at least helped me with my bags.” I muttered, but managed to get all my stuff onto the fourth floor without any trouble.

The apartment was small, but nice. It wasn’t too big and-

And there was an ankle biter dog sitting on the couch.

“Oh no. Oh no no no.” I groaned and called Becky.

“Ya?”

“Becky, there is a dog in your apartment.” I said

“Oh ya, I forgot to tell ya! I got a dog!” I moved the cell phone away from my ear to lessen the force of the siren song.

“Well that’s great, but uh, is there anything else you want to tell me?”

“Um his name is Caesar and – I gotta go hun, bye!”

Great. Not only did she leave me alone in New York city, but she left me alone in New York city with a dog that I know nothing about. Speaking of said dog—

“Oh my God, I left the door open!” I shrieked and ran out into the hall just to see Caesar dash down the steps. “Caesar no! Come back!”

I took the steps two at a time, a great feat for me because I tend to be very careful when encountering crumbly not very stable looking steps. Suddenly I lost my footing and toppled forward onto something soft.

“Oh God, please tell me I didn’t land on the dog!” I moaned and the soft thing underneath me stirred, then spoke.

“No, you landed on me, mind getting up?” A deep voice grumbled from beneath me.

I scrambled to my feet and almost bolted back up to my apartment. I had fallen on top of a person, a man to be exact and that man looked exactly like one of the characters from ‘ The Godfather’. I had fallen on a mobster. And he was going to kill me, I was sure of it. I had to fix this, quick.

“I am so so sorry!” I gasped, doing my best to brush the dirt off of his jacket. “Sorry, sorry. I can pay for dry cleaning. To a point, I don’t have that much money, I’m sorry!”

The man laughed and brushed my hands away gently, “It’s fine, stop apologizing.”

“”Oh okay, sorry. I mean- crap! Sorry. Shit! Sorry- Uh I just- I’m going to stop.” I forced myself to shut up before I said anything else stupid and took a few steps back to give the man space. It was then that I remembered the reason I had fallen on top of him in the first place.

“CAESAR!” I exclaimed and brushed past him and out of the building. Thankfully the dumb dog had only made it to the end of the street before I was able to snatch him up. “Bad dog! I almost killed somebody with my ass because of you!” I grumbled as I carried the squirming beast back up to the apartment. Fortunately the guy was gone so I didn’t have to make an awkward conversation.

As soon as I got back into the apartment I flopped down onto the couch, and began flipping through channels. I was way too tired and still embarrassed from today’s events so I decided to unpack tomorrow. Plus the fact that I most likely had to locate a leash and take Caesar out on a walk tomorrow to God knows where, was weighing down on my shoulders. Then again the idea of getting to know the neighborhood and discovering new restaurants seemed exciting.

My phone rang and I saw that it was Dad. “Hi dad!” I exclaimed

“Oh honey! You’re there, thank God!” Dad breathed and I frowned.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“I just found out that the crime in that neighborhood has gone up about ten percent since last week! Two college students were kidnapped and held at gun point yesterday! But I’m glad you’re safe sweetie! The house will be ready in about two months or so, so just try not to get killed before then.”

Staying at home seems nice and there are takeout numbers all over the places! Plus Caesar has tiny legs! How much exercise does a tiny dog need? Yeah. Staying home seemed like the best idea.