Hand in Mine, Into Your Icy Blues

Gerard’s Point of View:

I woke up to the awful sight of sunlight streaming through my window. I wasn’t much of a day person. I guess I could see why my friends insisted on calling me a vampire. I slowly rose my head up to check the time on my cell phone. 10:37 AM. I figured that it was a good time to get out of bed.

I made my way into the bathroom and quickly hopped into the shower. The warm water felt good against my skin. As I do every shower, I took a quick look at the three dark scars on my arm. They reminded me of a time when things weren’t so okay in my life. I didn’t like to look at my scars, but every time I saw them, I couldn’t seem to look away. These three hadn’t faded like the rest, reminding me that I will never truly be able to erase that awful time from my memories.

After my shower, I went downstairs to get some food. I found Mikey at the kitchen table, and for some reason, Frank was sitting next to him.

“Frank, why are you at my house this early?” I asked him as I walked into the kitchen.

“Fine, Gerard, I’ll leave if you don’t want me here!” Frank pouted. Frank was my best friend in the whole world. Almost like another brother to me.

“Frankie, stop being a little shit. I just want to know why you’re here at 11:00 in the morning! You normally don’t wake up until like…2,” I responded. Sometimes me and Frank were harsh towards each other, but that was a normal part of our friendship.

“Well, long story short,” he began, “my parents got into this huge argument at about ten this morning, and all I could hear was screaming for about forty five minutes straight. I thought I heard glass break, so I grabbed my car keys and headed here to get away from them for awhile,” Frank explained. I’ve always felt bad about Frank’s family situation. His parents always seemed to be fighting. The kid didn’t deserve to be around that all the time.

“I’m sorry, Frank. “ I gave him a sympathetic look. “Well, you were supposed to come over later today with the guys, so you might as well just spend the whole day here.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was planning on, Gee.” He smirked at me.

I looked over at Mikey. He was stuffing his face with cereal and drinking the milk straight from the carton.

“Mikey, can you please eat like a normal human being?”

“Stop being such a girl, Gerard. Who cares,” Mikey responded. After eating his last handful of cereal, he quickly looked up at me again. “Gerard! Speaking of girl, I forgot to ask you! How did things go with Chrystie yesterday?” Mikey winked at me.
“Who’s Chrystie?” Frank looked at me and asked with his mouth full of cereal.

“Our new neighbor Gerard is obsessed with,” Mikey casually said to Frank.

“Mikey, what the fuck, I’m not obsessed with her.” Sometimes I just wanted to punch my brother in the face.

“Oh, yes you are! You stared at her all day through your window the day she moved in! And then you begged dad to take us all over there to meet them!” Mikey teased me. I knew he wasn’t trying to make fun of me, but it was still annoying as hell.

“Okay, Mikey, seriously just shut up. Of course I looked at her out the window, because who wouldn’t be curious about their new neighbors. And I asked dad because I thought it would be nice for all of us to make her and her mom feel welcome around here.” Most of what I said was true, but Mikey was partially right. I was super curious to meet her.

“Okay, fine, so you’re not obsessed. Just answer my question. How did it go?” He seemed genuinely curious now.

“She’s really cool. She likes the same kinda stuff we do. Actually, I invited her over to come hang out with us tonight, if you guys don’t mind,” I said to them both.

“Wait, is she hot?” Frank asked. Typical Frank question, I thought to myself.

“Well, I think she’s really pretty,” I told him honestly. I started imagining Chrystie in my head. I got butterflies.

Frank seemed really happy for a moment, and then his expression changed. He looked confused. “Wait, aren’t you with Lindsey?” He asked. “I thought you two were together.”

“No, we were never really together…” I said quietly. The thought of Lindsey made me confused. I think I like her…or at least used to like her. Now I wasn’t so sure.

“Well, dude, before you go after this new chick, I think you should give Lindsey a chance. You guys have been friends for so long, and you’re practically already together. At least that’s what it seems like. It wouldn’t be right just to abandon her after all this time.” Although Frank acted like an idiot most of the time, sometimes on rare occasions he gave good advice. This being one of those occasions.

Frank was right. Lindsey deserved a chance. After all, I barely knew Chrystie, so it would probably be a good idea anyway to get to know more about her before I even consider pursuing any type of relationship with her. We would just remain friends for now. I’d introduce her to the guys, we’d all get along, and we’d become one big happy family. And I’d finally give Lindsey a real chance like she deserves. That seemed like a good idea for now. I’d just have to ignore the fact that Chrystie was still running crazy through my mind.

“Yeah, Frank, I guess you’re right. But I mean…I never even said I was going after Chrystie. All I said was she was pretty,” I said to him. He laughed.

“Well, first you are stalking her through the window, next you are telling me about how awesome and pretty she is. Me and Mikey can both see what you were thinking next!” Frank and Mikey both started to crack up.

“Guys, calm down, I’m not trying to get together with Chrystie. She just seems like a cool girl, and I thought she’d make a nice addition to our group.” I explained.

“Okay,” Frank responded. “That seems fine by me. I’m excited to meet her!” Frank was always excited to meet girls.

“Me too!” Mikey chimed in. “Well, I mean, I already met her, but I’m excited to get to actually talk to her this time!” Mikey and Frank both laughed. “When will she be over?” Mikey asked me.

“I actually don’t know yet. I told her I’d text her a time. I guess I’ll do that right now.” I pulled out my cell phone from my pocket.

I saw that there was a new text from Lindsey. She sent it about ten minutes ago.

Hey Gerard<3 good morning! Sad we didn’t get to talk last night, but there will be other times soon, right?I just miss you a lot, that’s all. We really havent talked much lately. Loveee you:)

Normally, I would be happy to see a text from Lindsey, but today it didn’t feel so right. For some reason, I almost cringed when I saw that heart. And the “love you” part. We say that kind of stuff to each other all the time, but today something felt weird. I was suddenly rethinking my idea of giving Lindsey a chance. Something just didn’t feel right.

I decided not to respond. I would deal with the whole Lindsey situation later. I didn’t feel like giving myself a headache. Right now I just needed to text Chrystie a time to come over.

Hey Chrystie, its Gerard:) You wanna come over at about six tonight? Oh and don’t bother to eat dinner, we’ll have tons of food here.

She responded in about three minutes.

hey gerard, six sounds good! I’ll see you then? :)

I waited a few minutes before responding back. I didn’t want to seem too desperate.

Yupp, I’ll see you then ;)
I accidently typed a winky face instead of a smiley face, but I decided to keep it. Chrystie never responded so I put my phone back in my pocket and turned back to Mikey and Frank.

We all talked about random stuff for awhile, and then went into the living room to play some video games. Mikey was kicking both our asses, like he usually does. I don’t know how we managed to do it, but apparently we had been sitting there playing video games for almost six hours. It was 5:57 already.

“Shit, we have to go pick up some stuff for the party!” Mikey shouted.

“Since when did it become a party?” I asked Mikey.

“Excuse me, ‘small get-together.’ Happy?” Mikey said sarcastically. We were always messing with each other.

“Whatever, Mikey! Anyways, I told Chrystie she could come over at six, so I guess you and Frank can go pick up the stuff, and I’ll wait here for her,” I responded. They seemed satisfied with that answer, even though everyone else was supposed to come over at seven. I’m glad they didn’t question it though. I just really wanted to spend some time alone with her again.

“Okay, Gee. See you when we get back. We can take my car, Mikey.” Frank said as he and Mikey left the room.

5:59 PM. Chrystie should be here any minute now. I was really excited and nervous at the same time.

Chrystie’s Point of View:

It was six o’clock. I was almost ready to head over to Gerard and Mikey’s. I didn’t want to be too early, so I was purposely spending a little extra time making sure I looked okay.

I was wearing the same knee-high Doc Martens from yesterday. Today, though, I had on a short, black pleated skirt with sheer black tights. I had on a tight, dark red off-the-shoulder top with ribbons tying the sides together. My hair was up in a ponytail again with my bangs still hanging down.

After a quick glance in my mirror, I realized that I looked kind of dressed up considering I was just going over to hang out, but I didn’t care. I thought I looked decent. And hopefully Gerard would think so, too.

I have to admit, I thought about Gerard a lot last night after we met. There was something about him that was so intriguing. I think it was the way he kept looking at me so confidently. And even besides that, he was absolutely breathtaking. I guess to most people he may have looked dark and creepy, but I thought he was absolutely gorgeous. His pale skin contrasted so nicely with his dark hair. And his eyes were just so beautiful.

I couldn’t really tell if I liked him or not. I mean, I literally just met him. But why couldn’t I stop thinking about him then?

I checked the clock once more. It was 6:11 now. Time to go, I thought to myself. I grabbed my phone off my dresser and headed down the stairs.

“Bye, mom, I’m leaving now,” I called out to my mom as I went out the front door.

“Bye, Chryssie! Have fun!” She called back from the living room.

I headed out the front door and walked down the street. Gerard and Mikey only lived about fifteen seconds away. I turned into their driveway and walked up to the door. I knocked twice before someone answered it. It was Gerard. He leaned against the doorframe.

“Tisk, tisk, Chrystie. You’re almost fifteen minutes late!” he joked. Ahh, there was his adorable smile again, I thought to myself. “And look at you!” he added, “You’re all dressed up!”

“Not really, I always dress like this,” I responded. He chuckled a little.

“Well, then, I guess you always look pretty,” he casually said. I blushed. He just said I was pretty! I could feel my heart starting to beat faster.

I think he could tell I was slightly embarrassed by his compliment, so he changed the subject. “I guess this is the part where I invite you inside.” He laughed again.

“Unless you were planning on leaving me at your doorway all night long,” I responded. I felt really comfortable around Gerard. Normally I would have been twenty times more shy with someone I had just met.

“No, you might get stolen or something if I left you out here. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for that,” he joked. He moved aside from the door and motioned for me to step inside. As soon as I got inside, Donna came rushing from the kitchen to see me.

“Hi, Chrystie! I’m so glad you’re here!” She wrapped her arms around me. “I was making some snacks in the kitchen, do you want anything?” she asked.

“No, I’m fine, Mrs. Way. Thanks though!” I responded.

“Alright, sweetie, but call me Donna, okay?” She smiled at me.

“Okay,” I smiled back. With that, she went back into the kitchen, continuing to prepare whatever she was making before.

I turned to Gerard again. “Your mom seems really nice. I’ve only seen her twice and she already acts like she’s known me her whole life!”

“Yeah, she’s really friendly. She treats all my friends like one of her own kids. But anyways, do you wanna go upstairs to my room for a little bit before everyone else gets here?” he asked.

I told him that was fine, so he led me up the stairs into his room.

Gerard’s room kind of reminded me of my own. The walls were a dark red color, and his furniture was black. Just like my room, he had drapes covering the windows, blocking out all the sunlight. His walls were covered with tons of artwork. Mostly black and white sketches, a few with some color. They were all really good.

“Did you draw all these?” I asked him as I looked around the room, amazed at how beautiful all the pictures were. Most of the sketches seemed to include death or destruction in some form, and a lot of them depicted love, but in a sorrowful and morbid way. He seemed very interested in the darker side of life.

“Yeah, I did, do you like them?” I nodded my head when he asked.

“These are all so beautiful. You’re really talented, Gerard.” I walked around his room slowly, examining each individual picture.

Gerard’s Point of View:

I followed Chrystie around my room, watching her react to all of my different artwork. She looked genuinely interested in all of it. I’m glad she didn’t think any of it was too creepy; sometimes I even scare myself with what I draw.

“You know, Chrystie, if you like them so much, I can draw you one. Only if you want, though,” I said to her. I don’t normally draw stuff for other people, but Chrystie was an exception. Her face lit up as soon as I suggested that to her.

“Really, you would? I’d love that! Thanks so much!” She beamed a huge smile at me. I’m not gonna lie, every time she smiled like that, I melted a little bit inside. She really did have a beautiful smile.

“What do you want me to draw you?”

She was quiet for a minute while she thought. “Hmm…how about you surprise me!”

Lucky for me, I had a good imagination, so I’d be able to think of something to draw her in no time. “Alright, I’ll surprise you, but I can’t promise you’re gonna like it if you won’t tell me what you want.” She giggled.

“Don’t worry, if it looks anything like these, I will absolutely love it.” I blushed a little. Chrystie finished looking at all my sketches and sat down on my bed. She looked over at me. I couldn’t help but stare into her pretty blue eyes.

“You know, I’m really glad we’re neighbors. I feel like we’re gonna become really close friends this year,” she said to me. Yeah, and hopefully more than friends too, I caught myself thinking. I knew I shouldn’t be thinking that, especially after my conversation with Frank this morning, but I couldn’t help it. She was just so…enchanting. We seemed like we had a real connection, too. But, she probably didn’t even like me in that kind of way, anyhow.

I sat down on the bed next to her, with my knees touching hers. “Yeah, we’ll be super close in no time! And since it’s still summer, we can hang out every day, too,” I told her.

Much to my surprise, Chrystie moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wasn’t expecting her to hug me. Obviously I didn’t mind though; I pulled her closer and rested my head on her shoulder for a moment.

“Thanks for being my friend, Gerard,” she whispered in my ear.

“You don’t need to thank me, Chrystie,” I whispered back. She pulled her arms away from my neck and moved a few inches away from me.

“No, you don’t understand,” she began, “I thought when I moved here, I was going to be alone for the rest of the year. Where I come from, I never really fit in with anyone. I thought things were going to be the same way here. I’m just really glad that you and your brother seemed so eager to meet me and all. I guess I’m not used to people being so friendly towards me. I’m kind of an outcast.” She looked so sad and insecure. I wish I could have just held her and told her everything was going to be okay.

“Chrystie, you’re talking to the biggest outcast Belleville has ever known,” I joked. “You have no need to worry. You’re such a great girl, and I’m sure all my friends are gonna like you just as much as I do. You don’t need to worry about being alone here.” She smiled at me.

“Thank you so much, Gerard.”

Just then I heard footsteps coming through the hallway. My door flung open. It was Mikey and Frank, back already, with bags in hand.

Mikey looked over at Chrystie and waved. “Chrystie, we meet again!” She laughed and waved back at him.

“Hey, Mikey!”

Frank turned to me and put his hands on his hips. “Well, Gerard, aren’t you going to introduce me to your new friend?” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Frank, this is Chrystie.”

Chrystie’s Point of View:

Frank walked right up to me and stuck out his hand. “Hey, Chrystie! I’m Frank. But you can call me Frankie, everyone else does.” I shook his hand. “And wow, you are really pretty, just like Gerard was telling us this morning!” I saw Gerard glare at Frank. It was kind of funny. So he was talking about me to his friends, huh? And he told them I was pretty! Hearing that gave me butterflies.

“Frank, shut the fuck up,” Gerard told him. He glanced over at me, and immediately blushed and looked away. I could tell he was embarrassed. It was kind of cute.

“Hey Frank, nice to meet you!” I said to him. Frank seemed like a nice guy. Gerard was right when he said his friends were great people.

“I’m sure you’ll fit right in with us, Chrys! We’ll all be best friends after tonight!” He winked at Mikey when he said that, as if they had some kind of secret plan. Mikey just rolled his eyes at him

“So, Gee, did you invite Lindsey over tonight?” Mikey asked him.

“No, I didn’t,” he mumbled back. His mood instantly changed. He seemed kind of angry now. He crossed his arms and looked at the ground.

“Who’s Lindsey?” I asked. Please say she’s not Gerard’s girlfriend, I thought to myself.

Frank was the first to respond. “Lindsey is Gerard’s kind-of-sort-of girlfriend that he is totally in love with but won’t admit it.” Gerard glared at him again.

I could feel my heart sink. Right as I thought I was beginning to develop feelings for Gerard, I find out he was seeing someone else. Of course he was too good to be true. I’ve never had much luck with guys, but I thought Gerard would be different. I thought we would become good friends, and then maybe one day, we could be more than that. I felt so comfortable around him, like we had a real connection. He was different than anyone I had ever met before. But now, I’d never have the chance to find out if anything was going to happen between us. I could feel a giant hole beginning to form in my stomach.

All I managed to say back to Frank was, “Oh.”

Gerard continued to glare at Frank. “Frank, how many times do I have to tell you she is not my girlfriend.” I could feel the tension in the room. Even Mikey had stiffened up.

Frank looked irritated now. “Gerard, what are you getting so mad about. Just this morning, you told us that you were going to give her a chance. And now you’re snapping at me and Mikey for talking about her. You don’t make any sense!”

Gerard’s Point of View:

I was beyond pissed at Frank and Mikey right now. I know I shouldn’t be, considering I did tell them I was going to give Lindsey a chance, but I couldn’t help it. I was furious. I didn’t want Chrystie to know about Lindsey. Not yet at least. Because…I’m pretty sure I like Chrystie. You know what, scratch that. I’m positive that I like her. And now any chance I had with her was probably ruined.

She probably thought Lindsey and I were in love or something. And if by some miracle Chrystie did like me, she probably would never consider being with me just because Frank and my idiot brother had to open their big mouths.

I just wanted to sort things out with Lindsey privately. I didn’t want Chrystie to know. Not like this at least. Yes, Lindsey deserved a chance, but yes, I couldn’t deny that I had feelings for Chrystie, too.

The worst part is, is that I don’t even know if Chrystie likes me back. If she did, I could just turn to her right now and tell her that Lindsey and I aren’t together and that I wanted to be with her. But I couldn’t do that. Who was I kidding? She probably doesn’t even like me like that. She’s too perfect for me.

I was just so confused about this whole thing. I really needed a cigarette right now. I felt obliged to give Lindsey a chance, but my mind was filled with thoughts of Chrystie. I just really wanted this to be a private thing that I could sort out myself. I decided to get off the bed and leave my room, without saying a word to any of them. I went down the stairs and out my back door to the tree in my back yard. Luckily, my mom didn’t see me go outside. As I sat under the tree, I lit a cigarette, and just sat there, staring at nothing in particular.

Chrystie’s Point of View:

Gerard got up off the bed and left without saying anything. He looked absolutely enraged. Although I was upset at the mention of his girlfriend, I don’t know why he would be so angry about it.

I could still feel a hole in my stomach. To think I ever had a chance with Gerard Way.

Frank could tell I was upset. “Hey, honey, what’s wrong?” He seemed concerned.
I made up a lie. I didn’t want to tell him that I had feelings for his best friend. “Oh, umm, it’s nothing. I just…miss my friends back home,” I sighed.

Frank sat down next to me and put his arm around me. Mikey gave me a sympathetic look from across the room. “Don’t be sad, Chrys. We’re gonna have tons of fun tonight, you’ll forget all about it. Besides, I’ve been having a pretty shitty day, too. Parents fighting and stuff. But me and Mikey picked up a few things that might be able to help us feel better,” he said. I looked up at Mikey, confused.

Mikey pulled out a few bottles of alcohol from the bag he was carried into Gerard’s room and showed them to me. I didn’t normally drink, but tonight, it seemed like a good idea.

“You don’t mind drinking, do you?” Frank asked.

“Nope, not at all,” I responded back. I couldn’t wait to drink my problems away.