Fighter

~212

The hole.

It was gigantic. It was also impossible to ignore. Isabell couldn’t help but continue to stare at it. The blonde knew that the child was buried beneath the dirt, but something still didn’t feel right about it. There would be no more search parties. No more grids being scoured. Everything they’d been doing for the past could weeks was just done. They’d found Sophia, so why wasn’t Isabell at all relieved?

Isabell glared at the hole with her brow furrowed. She was hoping the past few hours was all just a nightmare. In the morning, she would wake up and they would go off on a search and find the little girl. Isabell looked over at Daryl for just a moment. To her, Daryl looked just as angry as she felt. Isabell sighed.

Daryl rushed off away from the gravesite without a word.

Isabell quickly hurried after him, trailing close behind. She watched as he crossed the strap of his crossbow over his body and enter the tent. Isabell followed him into the small housing and noticed as he was stuffing as much of their stuff back into his backpack. “What’s going on?”

“We’re moving camp.” He said.

Isabell furrowed her brow. “Why?”

“I don’ trust Shane.”

“I’m glad we agree on something.” The blonde smiled. “But you wanted to help clear the barn. So, why are you anti-Shane now?”

“Could ya just pick up yer shit so we can go?”

Isabell complied, thinking about what was going on around her. “We’re not leaving are we? For good?” She stood up straight, looking at him. “I can’t do that to these people.”

“We don’t owe them anything, Iz!” He seethed quietly.

“That doesn’t mean that we can just leave.”

“We can do what we want. We can make it. We have before.”

“I’m not leaving.” Isabell rolled her eyes. “Harley wouldn’t want to leave. She wouldn’t want us to leave.”

Daryl stopped, dropping the things in his hands. “The hell you just say?”

“You heard me. We can’t leave. We’re not leaving. I will move camp, just on the outskirts of Hershel’s property, but I am not leaving this group. We need these people, especially now.”

Daryl just scoffed, turning back to his packing. “Whatever.”

“We’re staying.”

“Okay!” He said, facing her for just a moment. “Fine, we’re staying. But I ain’t layin’ my head anywhere near Shane.”

Isabell looked to him for a moment, studying his movements. She was worried about him. Isabell was worried about how he was going to act towards the others. She knew that once something bad happened to him, it was like he was riding an emotional rollercoaster where he’d be angry at everyone in the one minute and then he’d be standing by Isabell, lovingly protecting her in the next. Isabell was the only one who seemed to understand Daryl and how he reacted to things. She was the only one who he would really ever listen to when they needed him to calm down.

This was something she wasn’t sure that she could calm him from. He’d worked hard. Daryl nearly got himself killed trying to look for the little girl. It was all just flashbacks to when they first realized Harley wasn’t alive anymore. All the mood swings, anger outbursts, trudging about like nothing was wrong. It scared Isabell. It wasn’t a couple weeks after they’d found her brother’s apartment covered in blood that Isabell got separated from Daryl. Shortly after that while she was on her own, she gave up. Isabell had found Merle on top of that stupid shopping mall, helped him out, injuring herself in the process, and was left to rot in a closet. She didn’t want to go through that again.

Daryl had led Isabell across the farm close to a line of trees that had gotten little traffic from walkers. He dropped the folded up tent with a huff and started to open it up again.

“You know, I know you’re upset about all the shit that happened today. It sucks. I fuckin’ get it. You can close yerself off to these people, Daryl Dixon. You can yell and shout at them all you fuckin’ want, but don’ ya dare do it ta me.” Isabell drops her bag and machete to the ground and faces him.

Daryl pauses, looking up to Isabell. “Don’ I dare?” Daryl questioned, dropping the metal bar in his hand and pushing himself to his feet, taking a few steps towards her. “God, Iz, the fuck do ya think you did after I couldn’t find Harley?!” he shouted.

Isabell took a few steps back, trying to keep the space between her and Daryl. She only ended up with her back hard against a tree, cornered by the man with a temper she was still unsure about. “I knew that whole weekend was a mistake! There was something wrong, and I felt it.”

“Don’ say that, Izzy.” Daryl ordered angrily. “I finally got you to agree to it - ”

“And maybe I shouldn’t’ve!” Isabell sighed, running a hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face. “I tried to tell you about it. I saw it on the tv and I tried to wake you. You were dead asleep! Just enjoying the quiet!”

“What was I supposed to know this was going to happen?!”

“No, but I told you! It was too quiet! If you’d woken up when I told ya, we coulda been gone out the door quicker! We coulda found her! She’d be here!” Isabell shouted, not caring much for any attention that she could be attracting. “I’d have my baby safe and sound next to me every night!”

“And she’d’ve gotten lost in the mob you got lost in. Or lost with Sophia. Or layin’ on the bed, shot, next to Carl.”

“No, she wouldn’t. I never woulda let her go!” She screamed, realizing just now that she had started to cry angry tears.

Daryl scoffed, turning his head away for just again. “She’s gone, Izzy!” He insisted. “Both her and Sophia are gone. And there’s nothin’ we can do. Nothin’ but move on. ‘Cause yer here.” Daryl stepped forward a couple more steps, leaning his forehead onto hers so he could look her in the eye. “And yer fightin’. Just like you’re supposed to.” Daryl maneuvered his legs between hers, holding Isabell against the tree with his body molded to hers.

“I’m tired, Daryl.” Isabell admitted, closing her eyes. “There’s nothin’ else for me to hold onto.”

“That’s a lie.” Daryl said quickly as Isabell kept talking.

“Nothin’ for me to fight for! Findin’ her was the only thin’ keepin’ me goin’”

Daryl grabbed Isabell’s chin, probably a little too hard, forcing her to look at him. “That’s a goddamn lie, Izzy! And you know it. Yer supposed ta be here. Yer supposed to survive ‘cause you’re strong.” He let go of her face. “Yer damn strong. Ya lasted this long and you were on yer own for weeks.”

“‘Cause I was set on findin’ you. I had something to work for.”

“Ya got me, Iz. You work for me. Ya need to stay here, with me.” Daryl told her softly. “‘Cause I ain’t nothin’ without ya.”

Isabell relaxed into Daryl’s arms, nodding her head against his forehead.

“We’ll get through this. I promise ya we’re gonna make it.”

!@#$#@!

After her breakdown, Isabell had felt a little awkward. She always knew that crying her heart out around Daryl was never productive. Isabell also knew that Daryl never really knew what to do with the aftermath. He wasn’t much one to kiss and make up and it would be all better. Daryl would ignore the problem for a while and nod in her direction to make sure that she was okay, and that would be the end of it.

Isabell sighed from her place seated on the ground, leaning up against a tree. It was one of the nicer days. Since winter was coming up, it was a cool late afternoon; very different from the scorching nights they had all summer. Isabell glanced up from her recent task of sharpening her machete to watch Daryl for a moment as he was carving out some arrows for her.

Daryl must’ve felt her staring because he paused in his work and looked to her, nodding after a moment.

Isabell responded with half a smile and a nod in return and he returned to his work. She closed her eyes leaning her head back against the trunk of the tree. A couple minutes later, she heard footsteps in the grass heading their way. Isabell turned, peeking around the tree to see Lori walking in their direction. She turned back and groaned quietly. “Ah, hell.” she whispered.

Lori came to their camp and paused between the two. “Moving to the suburbs?” she asked, not earning a response from either Isabell or Daryl, both too preoccupied with their work to make conversation. “Listen,” Lori continued, “Beth’s in some kind of catatonic shock. We need Hershel.”

“Yeah, so what?” Daryl asked.

Lori moved closer to Daryl and crouched down beside him. “So, I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back.”

“No use in sendin’ us out there.” Isabell said, gaining Lori’s attention. “Rick’s gone on a run, he’ll come back. Nothin’ to do but wait.” Isabell insisted.

Lori shook her head and look back to Daryl. “Daryl?”

Daryl stopped working on his project and looked to Lori for a second before speaking. “Yer bitch went window-shoppin’. You want him? Fetch ‘im yerself. I got better things ta do.”

“What’s the matter with you?” Lori asks, standing and moving her head between Daryl and Isabell. “Both of you? Why are you bein’ so selfish.”

Isabell scoffed. “Don’t start with that, lady.”

“Selfish?” Daryl asked, standing quickly to his feet.

“Here we go.”

“Listen to me, Olive Oyl. I was out there lookin’ for that little girl every single day. I took a bullet and an arrow in the process. Don’t you tell me about me gettin’ my hands dirty. You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride.” Daryl calms himself slightly and takes a seat. “I’m done lookin’ for people. Me and my - ” He stopped himself, glancing at Isabell. “Me and Iz are done.”

Lori looks between them one more time before shaking her head and making her way back to the white house.

Isabell sighed. “I know you’re mad, ‘cause I am, too. But Lori didn’t do nothin’ to ya, and she was just askin’ for some help.” She offered, getting a scoff in response from Daryl. Isabell got up from her spot against the tree and walked over to sit next to him on the pile of stone brick. She stops him from his work by wrapping her arms around one of his. “I’m sorry.”

Daryl easily shrugged himself out of her grasp, continuing to hack away at the stick he held. “Whatchu got ta be sorry for?”

“You looked really hard for…” She stumbled, unsure if she could actually say her name, “Sophia. Just like you looked for Harley. It killed you then when we didn’t find her and it’s killin’ you now with Sophia.”

Daryl stops shaving the stick, just staring at it. “Yer upset, too. I know it. ‘Nd yer angry. But ya know it wan’t yer fault. With either of ‘em.”

Isabell leaned her head back on the rocks behind her. “Feels like it. I grabbed Carl instead o’ Sophia. Then it was my idea to drop Harley off with my brother. My idea for that weekend.” Isabell thought for a moment. “I never shoulda let her go.”

“You didn’ know that world was gon’ turn to shit overnight.” Daryl told her. “If we’da known, I wan’t gonna let her go either.”

The blonde let out a long, slow breath. She looked to Daryl. “Maybe. I just - I knew we were gonna find her. I could feel it. It was strong sayin’ that we’d find Sophia. I knew it wan’t gonna be like before. I wan’t gonna be angry or upset. We’d find her. We’d get to live. Sophia was gonna live.”

Daryl looked to Isabell and back to his knife. “Baby Girl was supposed to live. I couldn’t find her neither.”

Isabell smiled, “You should take yer own advice, Dixon. Harley and Sophia weren’t your fault.”

“Maybe we just need ta listen to each other.”

“Maybe.” Isabell sighed. “I’m gonna go take a nap. Wake me when you wanna start cookin’ somethin’.” Isabell pushed herself off of the rock and took a step forward.

Daryl grabbed onto Isabell’s hand and she stopped in the spot.

Isabell turned slightly and looked back at him questioningly with her brow furrowed. “What?” she asked.

The man pulled her hand to his lips to lay a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I love ya, Izzy.”

Isabell nodded. “I know.”

!@#$#@!

After staring at the ceiling of the tent for a few hours, Isabell got tired of feigning sleep. She groaned and sat with her legs hanging over the side of the cot. As much as Isabell had tried to get to sleep, it just wasn’t coming very easy. With everything that she had to be worried about, she thought she was going crazy. Shane was going crazy. Rick couldn’t get a hold on him. Carol was acting like nothing was wrong. Same with Daryl, who was being terribly moody.

Isabell was especially worried about herself. Knowing that she had thought about giving up before and knowing that she could easily stop feeling all the stress of the apocalyptic world.

The blonde pushed those thoughts from her head, remembering that Daryl would probably kill her himself if he knew that she was thinking about it again.

Isabell ran her hands down her face, rubbing strongly at her eyes. She grabbed the light sheet that she had been using as a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders before exiting the tent. Isabell noticed Daryl sitting by a fire he’d made as it had gotten dark. She joined him, sitting across from him.

Daryl passed her a plate with meat on it.

Isabell looked at the plate, debating on taking it or not. She bit her lip, looking up at him through the flames.

“Take it. I ate.”

Isabell took it from him. “You were supposed ta get me.”

“You were supposed ta be sleepin’.”

Isabell’s eyes quickly left Daryl’s gaze. “I couldn’t sleep. Too much goin’ on.”

Quick feet scurried towards them. Isabell turned towards them to see Carol rushing their way. She groaned. “Are we ever gonna get a day of peace?” She asked aloud.

“We can’t find Lori anywhere.” Carol said, when she finally approached. “And the other’s aren’t back yet either.”

Daryl scoffed. “Yeah. That dumb bitch must’ve gone off lookin’ for ‘em.”

“What?” Carol asked Daryl, before looking to Isabell.

Isabell shrugged. “Lori asked him to go get ‘em back.”

“But I’m done bein’ everybody’s errand bitch.” Daryl pressed. Sure it was pigheaded of him to say it like that, but even Isabell was fed up with it.

Carol looked between the two of them, dismayed that the two of them hadn’t said anything before. She took fast breaths, both from her shock and her jogging to them. “And neither of you said anything.”

“We got no control over what Lori does.” Isabell told her. “Wouldn’t want it if we did.”

Carol studied Isabell for a moment before nodding at her statement and then starting to walk back to the farm.

Isabell listened as her footsteps left. She heard the woman pause and looked to her, seeing Carol standing outside their pitched tent.

Carol turned and walked back towards Isabell and Daryl. She stops between the two. “Don’t do this.” Carol begged. “Please. I’ve already lost my daughter.”

Daryl used his stick to help him to his feet. He then made his way to stand in front of Carol. “Yeah, that wan’t my problem neither.”

Isabell, noticing how angry he was looking, stood up just as quickly to put herself between the two other adults. Before she could, Daryl stalked off quickly to his tent, leaving Isabell to stand with Carol. Isabell sighed, watching him before looking to Carol.

Carol opened her mouth to attempt to say something to the blonde, but Isabell just shook her head, and followed Daryl into the tent. “Isabell…” Carol called, trying to get Isabell to talk to her.

“I don’t want to hear it Carol.” Isabell said, turned back towards Carol briefly. “You should probably go tell the rest of the group that Lori’s not on the farm anymore.”

Carol nodded, making her leave away from Daryl’s set camp.

Isabell sighed, watching as the woman left her sight. She turned her attention back towards the tent where she could see Daryl’s faint shadow against the flashlight he had turned on. Isabell entered the tent and sat down on her cot, watching Daryl as he opened his backpack to grab the bolts for his crossbow.

“Are you - ” Isabell started to ask before Daryl interrupted her.

“Don’t even try ta tell me to go after that sheriff's bitch.” Daryl pestered. “She can either get herself back or get killed. Either way it ain’t my responsibility.”

Isabell stared at him for a moment before laughing once. “I wan’t gonna tell ya to do nothin’ of the sort.”

Daryl picked up his crossbow and threw the strap over his shoulder, looking to Isabell quickly.

“‘Cause yer right.” Isabell agreed. “Lori’s made her mess, she’ll get herself out. Just like she did with the baby.”

Daryl chewed on his thumb nail. “What then?”

“I was gonna see if you were gonna check on the traps tonight.”

Daryl looked up to her, studying her for just a moment before nodding his head. “Yeah, stay here.”

Isabell nodded, watching him leave the tent. “Stay close. Be safe.”

“You, too.” He called over his shoulder.

Isabell sighed, laying back on her cot, whispering to herself with worry. “Come back soon.”