Wallflower

Here I am. Standing in front of Wembley Arena with a backstage pass on my hand. I could see thousands of people rushing through the gate and busy getting excited with their friends over their same favorite musicians.

As I stared at the crowd I felt constant vibrations on my right pocket. It must be from him. I mean, who else was going to call me besides my mom? It must be from Max. Max Helyer.

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It was Autumn 2009. That was the time I felt a very person noticed my existence. The time he noticed me. I was wandering around the park on a bright windy day and I saw a free brown bench wanting someone to sit on it. I sat on it and stared at the gorgeous Autumn view until a figure of a man captivated my attention. His eyes were focused on his phone as he walked towards the bench I was sitting.

He just sat there and kept fiddling with his phone. It was a rare situation where people chose to sit next to me, even strangers. People would usually rather be apart from me. I guess I just didn't have that friendly or inviting aura.

I didn't even know why my eyes were deadlocked on him. Maybe because the way the grey beanie hat looked good on him. Maybe because the black coat he was wearing looked good on him. Maybe because the fact that he really is cute. I didn't know.

Out of the blues, he turned his head towards me and smiled. His smile showed a friendly-warm smile that could persuade any individual in this planet wanted to befriend him. Of course, a smile that could melt any girl's heart.

"Max," said the man as he gave his free hand for me to greet it.

It took me a good 5 seconds simply to stare at his hand and absorb my disbelief that a person actually noticed I existed and was interested in creating a conversation with me. I shyly replied and shook his hand, "Autumn."

"Autumn? Wow you must be liking the season now!"

"I really do actually. My mom told me that I was named after this season,"

And just with that small talk, he made socialization easy for me. We became really close friends ever since. It was pretty surprising for me considering I never had any friends before and no one seemed to seek a friendship with me.

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These massive vibrations brought me back to the present time. I checked my phone and saw the name 'Maximus Helyer' appeared on the screen. He wouldn't quit calling until I answered. I simply let out a heavy sigh and pressed reject instead.

I am a quiet person. I am an extremely shy person. I am only 5 feet tall. I don't have a perfect blonde hair like any girls do. I don't know how to socialize with people. I am just a wallflower. While Max is a loud, energetic, good-looking, and fun man who happened to be in an internationally famous band with numerous friends. Why would I be in his way?

If I got out of his life, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind. There are hundreds of girls dying to be in my position right now. Someone prettier, smarter, richer and with more friends than I do could replace me in a heartbeat and nobody wouldn't even noticed. Well Josh, Dan, Chris, and Matt probably would noticed but I'm not sure they would mind if I leave.

Sure I would give the biggest lie if I claimed that I didn't fell for him. Who wouldn't fall for a person who noticed and give all the attention and kindness you've never had and you've ever wanted? But I felt selfish for being around him because his focus would be 100% for me and I know it's not selfish but I felt it is. God, why do I have such a complicated mind?

I turned around and went for the arena's exit. As I exited the arena and about to walk away, I felt a hand grabbed my arm and stopped me. I turned around just to see Max grabbing my arm and his eyes glaring at me.

I stared his eyes just to see anger rising up and he yelled at me, "Why the fuck are you trying to leave? I've called you 20 bloody times and here you are trying to leave! Why?"

If only he could understand why I wanted to leave. Tears fell down my eyes as I replied, "I'm sorry. I couldn't be there. I just couldn't,"

"Autumn, this is the biggest night of my career. Why? Does the crowd scared you? Or what? Seriously talk to me!"

"I don't feel good enough being around you! You have everything in your hands and you can have whatever you want in a snap. You don't need me! You never do! I'm just a fucking stain on your perfect white sheet,"

All of a sudden I felt his lips were on mine. I felt the world stopped moving. I felt the time stopped ticking. I felt he moved his hands to my hips and I put my arms around his neck. I never kissed anyone before so I didn't really know what was going on and what was I doing.

"I've always need you, Autumn. You don't know how amazing you are. I don't care about your background or what other people say about you. I love you and I need you to be with me, to witness me having one of the greatest night of my life. I really do love you,"

Without I having to say anything, he grabbed my hand and led me back to the arena. He pulled on his hoodie so that nobody realized it was Max Helyer from You Me at Six wandering around the arena when the show was about to start in 30 minutes. We passed through the backstage and the crew greeted us.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a complete idiot for thinking about leaving him tonight. But I also felt amazing that I now know that I'm good enough and loving a man who loved me back.