Safe & Sound

Gemma doesn't believe she's ever driven so fast before. Her foot stays glued onto the accelerator with dangerous pressure. She zooms through motorways she's never been on before, guided only by the vague street signs she passes every few kilometers. She curses at herself for taking so bloody long to sort out her plans with her counselor, pack her things, and get on the road. Her brother and her best friend desperately need her to get through whatever's happened.

When she enters London and swerves sloppily into a hospital parking space, she doesn't bother even locking the car. Her heart pounds. She has no idea what's happened. She fears the worst.

Something horrible has happened.

She sprints down the ivory corridors and finally gets the vacant oncology department into her line of sight. It's late now. No one but the nurses can be seen at this distance.

''Addison Ellis,'' she nearly shouts at the main desk, demanding to know which room is hers.

''I'm sorry, visiting hours are---''

''Are you new?'' she narrows her eyes threateningly, ''I'm not a visitor. I'm family. I'm Gemma Styles. Look me up.''

The nurse turns stiffly to her computer, but she only needs to enter a few keys until someone saves her the trouble.

''She's with me.''

Gemma follows the source of the sound and turns around. Her eyes fall on a person who looks so familiar and yet so unknown in the most horrid of ways. It breaks her heart to see his deformed face, swollen and red from nothing less than hours of mourning. She approaches him, searching his eyes for answers.

''Harry,'' she whispers, trying not to flinch as she watches his face begin to produce fresh tears, ''What's happened?''

He looks five years old. He sounds like a child as he sobs uncontrollably into her shoulder. Gemma is in absolute horror.

She glances over at the main desk and sees the nurses bow their heads. They must know. They themselves look as if they've been mourning, watching Harry fall apart before their eyes all evening. It's been hours since she got Kennedy's call and she assumes he's been like this ever since.

''Come here. Sit down.''

Gemma guides her broken brother toward a bench far enough from the desk to spare the nurses.

''Kennedy called me,'' she explains to him, ''But she didn't tell me what's happened. Where is she? Where's Addison?''

His entire body quivers at the sound of their names. How he wishes he didn't love them so much so this wouldn't tear him completely apart.

''Gemma,'' he manages to croak out through a sore throat. She can barely understand a word he says. ''Don't let them take her from me.''

''Who? Kennedy?''

''Addie,'' he sobs, ''Don't let them take Addie. It's not fair. It's not fair!''

His mangled scream makes her jump. He hides himself in the palms of his hands, shaking.

''Shh, it's alright. It's going to be okay.'' Gemma's comforting words don't convince even herself. She needs to know what's going on and she needs to know now. ''Stay here. I'll be right back.''

It takes every ounce of strength to leave him alone. She points at him as she passes the nurses' desk, warning them to keep an eye on him. They nod.

Gemma searches the room identification cards for Addison's name. It doesn't take long at all. The door is closed. When her hand lands on the handle, a horrified half of her expects to open it and find an empty bed with the sheets stripped off. The very thought has her trembling, but she fights the urge to run away. With a deep breath, she quickly flicks her wrist and enters through the doorway.

''...the happy white mouse squeaked 'Hello!' and---''

Kennedy pauses mid-sentence and looks up from the children's book in her hands. Her grin is blinding, but something about it terrifies her.

''Gemma! Hey!'' she squeals, ''Addie, look who's here.''

Gemma shifts her eyes to the toddler sitting in her lap, who begins to smile herself.

''Auntie Gemma.'' Her voice is horrifyingly shallow.

''I didn't know you were coming tonight,'' says Kennedy, ''Do you have a break from school or something?''

The entire scene is making Gemma sick to her stomach. There's something grossly unsettling about the way Kennedy looks up at her. If she examines her best friend hard enough, she can even see that the hand resting next to Addison's knee is balled into a fist.

''Are you alright?'' Gemma already knows the answer to this, although it will contrast greatly to the answer she will be given.

''Of course. Are you alright?''

''You...You called me, Kenn.'' Her eyebrows crease together in tremendous confusion. ''You said I should be worried.''

''Did I? I don't remember that. Hey, do you want to help me finish the story? It's one of Addie's favorites.'' Kennedy waves the book in her hand, making Addison smile.

''Have you seen Harry?''

There's a horrible sound and Gemma is startled to see it's coming from Addison as she takes a breath.

''Daddy went...to the...toilet. But he's...been a long...time.''

Gemma can feel her eyes widen. There's something horribly wrong with both people she is speaking to.

''He should be back soon,'' Kennedy assures, kissing her daughter's cheek, ''Maybe he'll want to finish the story.''

Slowly, Gemma's body begins to thaw and her pulse becomes rapid. ''I'll just go check on him.''

''Okay, don't be long!'' Kennedy smiles.

Just to play along, Gemma forces a smile in return before closing the door. She leans against it, staring at the main desk and the nurses sitting behind it.

They stare back, almost as if telling her they know.

Gemma starts for the bench where she left Harry and finds him a bit quieter. He's sitting up, staring off into space, his face a thousand definitions of sorrow.

''What the hell is going on? What's wrong with Addison's voice and why is Kennedy a bloody nutcase?''

Harry sucks in air through his stuffy nose and when he talks, his voice is thick.

''Addie has a lung infection,'' he tells her in a dry monotone, ''And it's going to kill her.''

Instantly, Gemma's heart falls from her chest. The hair on the back of her neck stands up as chills travel down her spine.

''Kenn can't believe it,'' he goes on, ''She literally cannot believe it. She thinks everything is perfect.''

He pauses to regain his strength, as if he has any left over.

''They've been like this for hours. I can't be in there for long because Kennedy keeps asking why I'm crying. I don't have the heart to tell her again.''

He shakes his head in agony.

''Why isn't Addison in the bed?'' Gemma asks hurriedly, ''Why isn't she being treated for the infection?''

Harry begins to cry all over again.

''They said the treatment is pointless. They said all they can do now is make her comfortable.''

He turns to look at her and she almost wishes he didn't because it's a sight for nightmares.

''I want to be with her while I still can,'' he sobs, ''But it's killing me and I can't stop crying long enough to do it.''

Immediately, she pulls him to her, cradling him in an embrace she knows can never be tight enough.

Harry's baby is dying. Kennedy's baby is also dying, although in her now very confused mind, she isn't. But Gemma knows better than most people that that's not entirely the case. Inside, Kennedy is like Harry. Sobbing. Screaming. Breaking into two. But as horrible as the pain is for him, it is infinitely times worse for Kennedy, resulting in it not even being outwardly expressed.

Kennedy is nearly dead inside herself.



Gemma dials the familiar number into her mobile phone and does them all a favor. As calmly as she can, she explains the situation to her mother, not leaving out a single detail. She warns her of Addison's condition, of Kennedy's condition, and, finally, her son's. She tries not to pay too much attention to the outcry on the other end of the phone. She tries not to let it trigger her own emotions. But she fails, ending up sobbing on the floor in a bathroom stall.

It's cruel how they were given everything so beautifully, only to have it all taken away so fast.

Anne arrives with her eye makeup in streaks down her face and immediately takes her son into her arms. They both know Gemma needs the hug as well, but not nearly as badly as Harry. Gemma leaves them to grieve in the lobby, retreating to the nurses' desk to get some information.

In a small voice, she requests to speak to Dr. Holmes, the woman who once told them all that Addison would recover. Gemma can't help but feel angry at her until she realizes that what she's really doing is losing herself in whatever emotion she can feel other than sadness. She tries not to let it show when the sympathetic face of the doctor meets her own, smiling and ushering her into her office.

Gemma can't handle any small talk this evening. In fact, the moment she takes a seat, she says nothing. It's Dr. Holmes who does the talking.

''Gemma, I'm so sorry. Truly, I am.''

She doesn't realize she's still crying until Dr. Holmes places a box of tissues in front of her. She doesn't take one.

''The nurses tell me Harry is still very upset.''

''Kenn is worse,'' Gemma whispers.

Dr. Holmes can say nothing in response to the obvious statement.

Gemma clears her throat. ''How...How long does Addie have?''

''A week. Two at the most.''

With a whimper, Gemma hides herself behind her hand. ''This can't be happening. How did this happen?''

''Her body was weak from the radiation and the transplant,'' Dr. Holmes sighs, ''Her immune system is almost nothing.''

''Are you sure there's absolutely nothing you can do? Don't lie to me. I want you to be double sure there's absolutely nothing---do you hear me?---nothing left to try."

The doctor sighs in defeat. Gemma can tell she's bursting with regret of her own. ''It's not worth putting her through the pain when the treatment is risky even on healthy people.''

''How do you know that? Shouldn't that be her parents' decision?''

''It is. We're giving her antibiotics, but we can't give her a higher dose unless they give consent.''

Gemma emerges from her hiding spot. ''So get the damn consent.''

''Kennedy thinks she has no idea who I am,'' Dr. Holmes tells her slowly so she'll understand, ''And Harry won't say a word on the matter without talking to her first.''

For a moment, Gemma is speechless. She wonders why Dr. Holmes hasn't yet put Kennedy in the psych ward.

''They're in shambles because they've already started the grieving process,'' she explains, ''In their own ways, this is how they're dealing with it. Kennedy is just more extreme than most I've seen.''

''Can't you do something if they're not giving consent? Can't I give consent?''

Dr. Holmes shakes her head. ''No, Gemma. Besides, I don't think you'd want the burden. This treatment has more of a chance of failure than success, and if it fails then Addison will die in indescribable pain.''

Gemma swallows. She knows now what she has to do. For Harry and Kennedy and, above all, for Addie.