Secondhand

I woke up in the morning to Austin's open but sleepy, chocolate eyes.

"Good morning," he said lazily.

He must not have known that I heard his proclamation last night before we fell asleep.

"Morning," I replied, stretching my arms over my head & wincing at the pain that shot up my spine from my tailbone.

"What's wrong?"

"My back just hurts. I'll be fine."

"Lay on your stomach."

"Why?"

"I'm trying to help you. Just do it."

Wearily, I did as he said and shifted so I was lying face down. I felt the bed shift as he moved and the slight weight of him straddling my hips.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Alan, I'm not going to hurt you. I swear on my life that I won't."

"O-o-okay."

"Please just try to relax."

I did try, but even though he swore not to hurt me, I was scared. What if he wasn't the nice guy I had come to care about? This could easily all be an act and he could rape me just like the man from last night.

Austin's rough hands slid up by my neck before settling at my shoulders. He dug his fingers deep into the tensed muscles and I immediately relaxed into his touch.

"There ya go. Just relax. I won't hurt you."

I felt like I could melt right into the mattress. My pain was subsiding slowly and his hands on my bare skin felt like heaven. He got to a large knot in the muscles and pressed down harder. A strangled moan slipped past my lips and I heard Austin chuckle.

"That feel good?" He asked, applying pressure to the same spot once more.

"Like you don't already know," I whimpered.

He giggled and the corners of my mouth lifted. His fingers danced over my back to the sides of my spine just above my hips. I felt his knuckles brush the skin before he pushed them down and moved up and down through the muscle. I couldn't help it. Another moan tumbled from my lips before I could stop it.

He rolled off of me and laid down again.

"Feel better?"

"Mmm. Much. Thank you," I smiled shyly at him.

"I don't want to get up."

I laughed a little because our feelings were mutual.

"Shayley's gonna come in here and make you, I'm sure."

"He's already at work. He's got extra shifts today, so he won't be home till ten at the earliest."

"So what are your plans?"

"I don't know. Can they involve being with you?"

"I-if you want."

"Do I make you nervous?" He smirked.

I hid in the blankets.

"N-no."

He didn't say anything and I peeked out to find out why. His face was extremely close to mine and I jumped, cowering away. My heart was racing and I struggled to catch my breath. Though I knew it was Austin I would be greeted by, it was far too similar to the scene from last night.

"D-did I scare you? I didn't mean to. I, I just didn't think about it. I'm sorry, Alan. I-"

I reached toward him and put my hand over his mouth.

"I-it's okay, Austin."

I hugged him and fit my head right into the crook of his neck.

"How are you so strong?"

"What?"

"All these crazy, bad things happen to you & you're still so strong."

"I'm not."

"You are. You really are."

"No. These don't scream 'strong,' do they? I'm worth nothing. " I said, pulling up the leg of Austin's borrowed shorts to reveal my scars.

He sat up and faced me. Then, he ran the rough pads of his fingers over the raised white scars and more recent angry red lines. I raised an eyebrow as he moved closer to me. I had no idea what he was going to do, but I knew I would find out soon.

I did find out when his lips slowly brushed all the lines that covered my leg. He took my hand in his and stared into my eyes. The look was intense, but he seemed unsure of his previous gesture.

"You're worth everything to me."