Unconditional.

The thought that Luke had snuck into my room, inches from my sleeping form, scared Holly just as much as it scared me. It was a miracle Holly and I had spent three days apart without Holly being attacked. I felt so stupid.

"How did he even find out we'd argued?" I wondered aloud, and Holly pulled out of our hug.

"Can we go to yours?" she asked, and I nodded without hesitation.

I picked the remote control up off the floor, putting it on the desk and sitting there to wait while Holly got dressed. I couldn't stop my eyes flitting to her as she shed her pyjamas with her back to me. I watched the curve of her spine, the way her hair fell out of the loose ponytail on top of her head and tumbled down her back in shiny limp curls. I watched her point her dainty toes as she pulled a pair of my old trackies over her magnificent legs. She was perfect, a work of art. Still, to that day, I had no idea how I'd managed to get her to fall for me.

Once she was dressed she led me downstairs and out of the house, and for a while we walked in silence. Our hands brushed between us and I snapped mine to my side. I didn't know how to be around her. Was I allowed to hold her hand after I'd let Luke break into my house? I'd abandoned her. I'd let him come between us. Where did we stand after this? I definitely didn't deserve to hold her hand.

Maybe I just wanted to be selfish. I wanted the small comfort holding her hand in mine brought me. I wanted to know we were still okay. For once I was the one who needed reassuring, and I hated how powerless it made me feel.

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, and I peeked at her. "I don't even know how I believed for a second that you sent those texts. I'm so stupid sometimes."

"You're not stupid," I told her, and she smiled gratefully.

"Everyone else seems to think I am," she sighed, slipping her fingers between mine and giving my hand a squeeze. "I'm glad you don't."

I pull her into me and let go of her hand, throwing my arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple. She snaked her arm around my waist and we slowed our pace, savouring the moment. After three days of being without her, I was definitely ready to resume spending every second of my time with her. It hadn't stopped hurting yet; I knew I'd made a huge mistake in getting mad at her, and it would be a long time before I forgave myself. But it didn't stop me from being thrilled we were happy again.

"Do you think he had a key to my house?" I asked worridely, and Holly sighed.

"Can we just not talk about him anymore?" she said. "I'm just sick of everything revolving around him."

"Sorry," I teased, a grin spreading across my face, "I'll go back to revolving around you now, shall I?"

"Yes please," she said eminently. Bless her, she had no idea how cute she was.

I steered Holly into Tesco before we got to mine, figuring we could do with snacks. I carried the basket with my free hand, my other arm still draped lovingly around her, and I let her choose whatever she wanted to throw into the basket. For such a little person she had a massive appetite, I mused amiably as the basket began to increase in weight.

Once I'd paid we made our way back to mine, and of course I wouldn't let her carry anything but she was fine with that. She got an obvious kick out of being treated like a princess, and I found equal pleasure in treating her like one.

We hurried upstairs as soon as we got there, dropping the carrier bags onto the floor and tumbling onto my bed. For a while we just lay there. I held her close to me, playing with the loose strands of hair, and she stroked my chest softly. I could just lie there like that for hours and just not get bored. We fit together so perfectly. Unfortunately Holly's attention span is about as long as her little finger, which is actually pretty tiny. She sighed and sat up after a while, looking around my room for inspiration for what we could do next, but I just continued to look at her.

"You know," I said, lacing my fingers through hers, "I loved you from the very first moment I saw you."

And only then did I realise it was true. I think I'd always loved her. The first moment I'd seen her I was intrigued, almost as if I knew we were meant to get together. Somehow I'd known she was meant for me. We were made to love each other. As long as we were together nothing else mattered, and if I lost her my life would be meaningless.

"I think I always loved you too," she murmured, and I grinned.

"Liar," I accused. "You thought I was weird when we first met."

"Well how do I know you're not lying too?" she demanded, pouting.

"I'd never lie to you," I assured her, kissing the tip of her nose lightly, but she still wasn't convinced.

"You have to promise," she told me. "Swear on the bible."

"I don't believe in the bible," I laughed. "I don't even think I have a bible."

"Well..." she said, looking around just as Ella slunk into my room through the gap in the door. A smile spread across Holly's face and I could practically hear a crazy plan forming. "Swear on Snowy then."

"Swear on my cat," I said incredulously. "Do you know how weird that sounds?"

"Joshie," she said impatiently, and I rolled my eyes and picked the cat up.

I laughed nervously, putting Ella in my lap, unsure of what to say. She grumbled irritably, digging her claws into my lap but staying where she was. I stroked her little white head, feeling quite ridiculous. I couldn't help thinking it was yet another promise binding my hands. Holly raised an eyebrow, impatient.

"Um..." I laughed again.

"You have to be serious," she said, looking pretty pleased with herself.

"Fine," I sighed, placing my palm on poor Ella's head. "I, Joshua Peyton, hereby pledge to tell Holly Marie Brewer the absolute truth for as long as we both shall live. Erm... Amen?"

"It sounds like you're marrying me," she giggled with delight, and I rolled my eyes and let the cat go.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in bed, surrounded by snacks and watching videos online. As usual Holly had control of whatever we watched, but I didn't mind. I barely paid attention anyway. I sat behind her, my back propped up by pillows, and played with her hair. She sat between my legs with her legs crossed, her eyes glued to the laptop screen, and she muttered an instruction for me to rub her shoulders. As afternoon faded into evening, my dad knocked and poked his head around the door, smiling as his gaze fell on Holly.

"Hello Holly," he said warmly, and Holly nodded in his direction. "Any preferences for dinner?"

I knew he wasn't asking me. Holly was the fussiest eater anyone could ever meet. She was a vegetarian, so she had her own drawer in our freezer, but that wasn't where it ended. If she wasn't in the mood for something she wouldn't eat it. She was forever making bizarre demands and wouldn't accept anything else. It was quite funny once you were used to it.

"Um," she said thoughtfully, and I shared an amused look with my father, "I think I'm in the mood for Quorn sausages and peas and mashed potato."

"Not Linda McCartney sausages?" I teased, but she ignored me.

"Gravy?" Dad asked, grinning, and Holly nodded absentmindedly, her concentration back on the screen.

He nodded and slipped back out of my room. Holly leaned back, resting her weight on me, and I wrapped my arms around her, my chin on her head. It was nice to hear her giggling softly at the cartoons on the screen.

I couldn't help letting my thoughts wander to the trial. I knew that even at happy times like this, I'd be thinking about it until it was over. I couldn't get it off my mind. I wondered if Holly was thinking about it. She seemed perfectly fine. Wasn't she worried about it? She knew how scared I was. How could she seem so calm?

"Do you think I should change the locks?" I muttered softly, and Holly looked up at me.

"Why, do you think Luke has a key?" she asked, frowning, and I shrugged.

"How else could he have broken in?" I said. "I guess he could've picked the locks or found an open window..."

"Can we just not talk about it?" Holly whined, lacing her fingers through mine and holding my hand tight. "I just want to forget about it for one day. Please?"

I nodded, but I couldn't forget about it. So many worries plagued my mind, too big to suppress. I kept thinking about what would happen if Luke broke in again tonight, while Holly and I slept side by side. I slept through it last time; what was to stop me sleeping through it the next time? And even if he didn't break in, there was still the trial to worry about. I needed a suit, I needed a lawyer, I needed a plan. I hated that the date was drawing nearer with each day and everything was totally out of my hands. I needed to take control.

When Dad brought our dinner up to us, I immediately cast mine aside, leaving the plate on the nightstand, and grabbed the laptop. Thankfully Holly paid no attention to me as she ate, so I was able to bookmark a few law firm websites before she demanded her next cartoon episode. As soon as she fell asleep tonight I'd be studying. I didn't feel like sleeping anyway, not while Luke had access to my house.

I wolfed down my dinner, still hungry after fasting for three days, and tried to forget everything like Holly wanted. I tried to focus on the laptop screen, but I just couldn't follow the story. I needed to do something to distract myself. I started to suggest we did something, but Holly's phone buzzed in her pocket and cut me off.

She frowned and dug it out, frowning at the screen before tossing it aside. I looked at the name on the screen. It was Aidan.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" I asked, and she shook her head. "Why not?"

"I don't want to talk to him, that's all," she said simply, opening a can of Coke and taking a delicate sip.

"Are you mad at him?"

She seemed to consider it before shrugging and nodding her head. "I suppose so, a little bit. Aren't you? I'd have thought you'd be madder than I am."

"I don't know," I said thoughtfully. "I never really saw it as his fault, I guess."

"Well I am," she said decisively.

I knew she wouldn't be mad at him for long; they'd known each other forever and he was practically her big brother. But I knew if I tried to convince her not to be angry with him it wouldn't work. She was too stubborn.

The phone continued to buzz between us, and I just watched it. A big part of me was curious. I wanted to know what he had to say. I definitely had to talk to him at some point. Maybe I'd call him when Holly was asleep; I knew she'd be annoyed if I spoke to him in front of her. I wondered if she'd seen him since the day at the beach. I'd only seen him once after the fire, but we hadn't spoken then. I knew we needed to, in private.

Holly sighed, thoughts of Aidan clearly still bothering her. I looked at her questioningly and she sighed again.

"I think we need to go away," she said suddenly, and my eyes widened.

"What do you mean, go away?"

"I don't mean we should run away and never return," she giggled, "although that might be nice. We can move to a little town in Devon and live in a cottage and you could be a fisherman..."

"A fisherman!" I exclaimed, and she grinned. "I'm crap at fishing, and besides you'd hate me for killing all the innocent little fishies and selling them for consumption."

"You could toss them back into the sea afterwards?"

"Then we'd make zero money and lose our cottage," I chuckled.

"Fine," she sighed, "I didn't even mean running away forever anyway. We just need to take a weekend away from all this. I just don't want to think about it anymore."

"Should we rent a nice little cottage in Devon for the weekend?" I teased, lightly kissing the tip of her nose.

"I'm serious!" she whined. "Ask your dad if you can borrow his car and we can leave tomorrow."

"I don't know," I said doubtfully. "I still need to do a whole load of stuff, I need a lawyer..."

"After," she insisted. "You can do all those things when we're back. Please, Josh, just three days?"

"...Okay."

Holly fell asleep early that night, and I didn't blame her. All of these worries, all this stress... It was exhausting. I tucked her under the duvet, thinking about how glad I was to have her back. We'd only been together a year and a half, but we practically lived together. We alternated between her house and my house every few days. We were practically glued at the hip, especially now she'd left college. It always felt so weird without her.

Holly's phone started buzzing again as I was clearing the snacks off the bed, and I lunged for it. I hit the answer button and headed downstairs so she wouldn't hear anything.

"Aidan?" I whispered.

"Josh," he replied, relief flooding through his voice. "I've called you a whole bunch of times, man. Where have you been?"

"Yeah," I said sheepishly. "I lost my phone. It's kind of a long story. Listen, we really need to talk..."

"Yes," he sighed, "I suppose we do."