Tangled in the Great Escape

{Kellin's POV}

I don't want to live anymore.
Vic is on tour, and it's been months since I last saw him. He's what keeps the depression at bay. What keeps me alive. Without him, it creeps back in. Slowly at first. I just felt more tired than normal. I had trouble sleeping. Then I started cutting again. Slowly gaining momentum until this moment. Where, with shaking hands, I write a letter to Vic. Telling him how much I love him. Explaining that it's not his fault. Telling him how sorry I am that I have to leave him this way. Telling him that our year together was the best thing that's ever happened in my otherwise worthless life. A few times I have to stop and take a deep breath because my hands are shaking too hard, and the words become unintelligible.

I set the letter down on the kitchen table. I feel numb as I walk to the bathroom. I set my driver's license on the counter and my phone next to it. I plan to call 9-11 at the last minute, so that no one has to "discover" me weeks from now. I open up the bathroom cabinet and grab the small white bottle of sleeping pills and twist off the top.

{Vic's POV}

I grin to myself as the cab pulls up to the airport sidewalk. We have an unexpected break in the tour. The lead singer of the other band's wife had her baby a few weeks prematurely. I silently wish them and the baby luck in my head. I check the time on my phone. 11:37 pm. I smile again at my wallpaper of Kellin, asleep in our bed, hair all mussed. Butterflies mosh around in my stomach at the thought of seeing him for the first time in two and a half months.

As the cab weaves its way through the dark streets of San Diego, I turn a small, black, velvety box over and over in my hands. I tuck it back into my pocket as the cab pulls up to our apartment buildings. I hand him the money and grab my bags out of the trunk. I make my way up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. I unlock the door and very carefully set my bags inside. I gently close the door behind me. I plan on waking up Kellin in a very . . . "special" way. As I turn down the hallway, I see that the bathroom light is on. Damn. I wanted to wake him up. I creep down the hallway, avoiding all the creaky floorboards. When I turn into the bathroom, my mind struggles to make sense of what I'm seeing.

Kellin, on the floor, with an empty bottle of pills laying on its side next to him. One hand is full of the small white pills, and the other is getting ready to put one in his mouth. His skin, while always pale, has a grayish tinge. His eyes seem almost bruised and slightly sunken. He looks practically skeletal.

"NO!" I cry, dropping to my knees, knocking the pills out of his hands. They skitter across the bathroom floor. Kellin immediately starts sobbing.
"How many did you take?!" I ask frantically, grabbing his shoulders.
"Th-thr-ee," he stutters out between sobs. I scoop him up in my arms and carry him to the kitchen and set him down gently in a chair. I grab the half empty pot of coffee and pour some into a glass. I glance around desperately before snatching up the salt shaker and pouring about half of it into the coffee. I learned this trick back in high school when I needed to sober up Mike and make him throw up whatever he had been drinking. I quickly drag the garbage can over to Kellin and force him to drink the mixture.

He gags several times, but manages to get about half of it down before pulling away and throwing up. I pull his hair away from his face and rub his back soothingly while he continues to vomit. When he's done, I grab a damp washcloth and gently wipe his face. I carefully guide Kellin to the sink and help him rinse out his mouth. Tears are still running down his face. I don't think it's really hit me yet what I just averted.

I scoop up Kellin and carry him to our bed. I gently wipe away the tears on his face and kiss both of his closed eyelids.
"You're so beautiful." I whisper to him. Tears silently make their way down my face. I press little kisses all over his face as he continues to cry.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." I kiss my way down his arms. In the dim orange light coming in through the window from the street lamps, I can see that new, fresh cuts have joined the old, faded scars. I kiss all of them, making him cry harder. I carefully take off his shirt and begin kissing all of Kellin's rib bones.
"I love you so, so much." I gently pull off his jeans and kiss the inside of his thighs, that match his arms. Kellin sobs ever harder. "No matter what, I will always be there for you. Always." I quickly shuck off my jeans and crawl under the covers next to him. Kellin curls up around me, resting his head on my chest, legs tangling with mine. His tears slowly stop, soon followed by slow, steady breathing. I start to shake slightly as it sinks in that had I come home 10 minutes later, Kellin would have been dead. After a while, I slowly calm down and drift to sleep.

{Kellin's POV}

When I wake up, it takes me a second to understand what's going on. Just the feeling of of Vic's chest under my cheek, slowly rising and falling, the thud of his heart, his arms wrapped around me. . . . these are the only things I really need. They're what keep me alive. A few tears slip out. Vic just makes me feel whole. I feel Vic stir slightly beneath me. He smiles sleepily at me.
"G'morning beautiful." He notices the tears on my face.
"Hey, what's wrong? Don't cry, I love you." He gently wipes the tears away. I just shake my head at him and kiss him on the cheek.
"Hey, I have something for you," he tells me. He leans over, off the bed and gets something out of the pocket of his jeans on the floor. He rolls back over, so that he's facing me. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
"Kellin Quinn Bostwick." He starts.
"Yes?" I ask cautiously.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I would give you everything I have to offer. My body, my soul, my love, my life. Will you marry me?" He pulls a small, simple, silver ring out of a small, black, velvety box.

I immediately start crying again.
"Why?" I attempt to ask him through the tears.
"I . . . I can't even imagine life without you. I can't imagine being anywhere but here. I'm still amazed that you even love me back. I mean, you are so, so beautiful. Inside and out," he tells me, gently brushing along my cheek bone with his thumb.
"I don't think that words can even express your beauty. Your forever really is all that I need," he says simply.
"As much as I want to, I can't promise that things won't be broken," he tells me seriously, looking me in the eye.
"But I swear that I will never leave."
Crying as hard as I am right now, talking is kinda out of the question, so I just nod at him.
"Yes?" he asks, eyes full of hope and love.
"Yes, Victor Vincent Fuentes, I will marry you." I whisper quietly. He delicately slides the ring on my finger.
"No more crying, okay? I love you so much," he tells me. I laugh slightly through my tears as he continues to wipe them off my face.
"I love you too."