Honey, I Love Your Love the Most


Three years later I'm up on stage in Anaheim, California performing the same song I played for Savannah years ago. As the crowd sings along to the "La de da's" of Sinners Like Me, I stare out at all of the smiling faces and my heart feels like it could burst with pride. I made it. Fifteen thousand people in this stadium know every word to at least one of my songs. All of these people are here to see me. No one could have prepared me for this feeling. I'm no longer the twenty-something year old guitar player sitting around a bonfire playing songs for my friends. Songs they will never remember because they never thought I could make it.

The show is over after Sinners Like Me and I wave to all of my fans and step off the stage. I take a bottle of water from one of the road crew and drink half of it while I pour the other half on my face. Arms encircle my waist and I turn to see the blonde bombshell that is now my girlfriend, Katherine.

"You did great, baby. Another totally successful show. They loved you out there." Katherine started out as my music publisher but after working late nights and early mornings to finish my first album, we just sort of clicked. She makes me happy most of the time and that's all I can ask for, really. She turned my life around when I thought I was doomed to nothing but misery.

"Thanks. It was just as awesome as the first time for me." I kiss her cheek and wrap my arm around her neck. Out of the corner of my eye I spot a girl with long brown hair and a small frame from behind. Her face is hidden from me since she's talking to one of the road crew members. For a second my mind takes me back to those three long summer months Savannah gave me. Three months that changed my life forever.

A dull ache is awoken on the left side of my chest but I push the thoughts far from my mind as the girl turns around and I see her face. I knew it wasn't her. I know I'll never see her again and part of me is happy for that. Part of me wishes I could just erase all of her from my memories. But the other part of me knows I would do it all over again if I could. She was so different. So unique and sometimes it almost seemed like she was meant for me. But then she changed and things were never going to be the same. She could barely look at me and I didn't know why. I couldn't fix us if I had no clue what was wrong with her. We knew it was over before either of us even had to say anything. We were just laying in the sand one afternoon by the pond staring up at the clouds floating by when she looked at me with a look that broke my heart.

"Do you think people are meant to be together forever?" Savannah asks as she stares into my eyes as if she's staring right into my soul.

"I haven't quite figured that out yet. But I feel like some could. Maybe not everyone, but some." she turns her glance back up at the clouds and is silent for a moment.

"I think even the strongest kind of love can't overcome everything." her voice is weak and I can almost see the tears forming in her eyes. I can sure hear them in her voice. "I use to think it could. I use to think there was just one person in the world meant for you. And when you found that person you just knew right then and there that your search was over. That you'd found the one you'd spend the rest of your life with. But I'm not so sure about any of that now."

A single tear slides down her cheek and I reach out to wipe it away but she moves away from me and does it herself.

"Where is all of this coming from?" I sit up and look at her seriously. She sits up as well and pulls her knees to her chest as she studies my face once again.

"There are so many things I wish I could tell you." a smile forms on her face as she looks down at the sand between her pink polished toes. More tears slide down her cheeks but her smile remains. "If I could have chosen anyone, to be that person I knew I wanted to be with, it would have been you, Eric. I just want you to know that." she leans up and kisses my lips softly and I want to hold onto her. Keep her right here with me and wipe all of her tears away forever. But before I get the chance to put my arms around her, she's pulling away from me with a sorrowful look in her eyes. "I love you." she whispers softly. It's the first and last time I'll ever hear her say that and I'm honestly speechless. Savannah stands up before I have a chance to respond and takes off into the woods in the opposite direction of where we pulled in. I stand up to follow her but she's no where to be seen.

The next morning when I wake up and drive over to her house, she's gone. Her parents refuse to tell me anything about where she might have gone and I can feel my heart shattering. We barely even fought in the few months we were together and I can't figure out what might have happened to cause her to just leave me like this. Weeks go by without a word from her. Weeks of me driving around to all of her favorite places, hoping to just bump into her and try with all my might to change her mind. I want so badly to tell her how much she means to me. How happy she has made me and how she's changed my life for the better. She made me send in the recording of Sinners Like Me. She's the one that pushed me to do it.

Six weeks go by and I give up sitting beside the phone waiting for a call that's never going to come. I grab my keys and start to head towards the door to just take a drive to somewhere new. Somewhere that won't remind me of her. That's the moment the phone rings. I race to it and get out a quick "hello."

"Is this Eric Church?" a female asks over the line.

"Yes, it is. And who is this?"

"This is Katherine Blasingame. I'm a music publisher. We heard your music and we'd like to ask you to come to Nashville. We think you really have some talent." my heart starts hammering in my chest as I think of a response.

"Yes! Yes of course! When do I need to be there?"

"Three days from today, so the eighth. We will email you all of the information about where to go and where you'll be staying. Everything will be paid for of course."

"Thank you so much!"

"We'll see you in three days, Mr. Church." the woman hangs up the phone and I have to take a seat to clear my head. My biggest dream is coming true.