Honey, I Love Your Love the Most


"You've been really off the past couple of days. Your head is somewhere else, isn't it?" Katherine asks as she lays down beside me on the couch on the tour bus. We are stopped in Las Vegas for the show coming up tomorrow night. I sigh, not really sure how to answer her question. It's not like I can tell her why my mind is so scattered. I definitely can't tell her that every time she wants to show affection towards me I just want to stop her. Ever since the show in Anaheim I haven't been able to stop thinking about Savannah. I really thought after all of this time I would be over her. I thought her memory wouldn't affect me anymore, but I can't get that lucky.

"I'm just a little wore out. We've been doing so many shows and I'm just tired." I close my eyes and feel her shift so her head is resting on my chest.

"Then sleep, babe. I'll find something to do for the day and you can just rest. You need it." she leans up and presses a kiss to my lips and I want more than anything to feel the same spark I use to feel with her, but it just isn't there. She stands up from the couch and heads out the door without another word. I'm left in silence and part of me wishes someone else was on the bus making noise, doing something to keep my mind from wandering. Every time I close my eyes I see her face.

I stand up from the couch and decide there's no way I'm going to sit around here and dwell on her. I grab my leather jacket off the back of the couch, my aviators, and a hat and make my way off the bus. The parking lot of the arena is bustling with activity as everyone gets ready for the show tomorrow. I grab a taxi and head to the nearest bar. Once I'm there I order a whiskey and coke and stare off into space while the bartender pours the drink. With my hat tipped low and my sunglasses on, no one has noticed me and I hope it stays that way. I'm in no mood to be swarmed by a bunch of people.

Just like the time after the show in California I spot a familiar brunette out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head and this time I'm staring straight into a pair of deep brown eyes from across the room. Not a second later the face is gone and I hear the door to the bar slam shut as someone rushes out. I take my drink from the bartender and slam it back quickly before rushing after the person I'd just made eye contact with. Once I'm out on the busy Las Vegas street, I look everywhere for the girl I just saw in the bar. I can the crowds of people to my left and right and none of them fit the description that I'm looking for. I take my hat off my head and run my fingers through my hair. Maybe I'm losing my mind. Maybe I imagined her here to make myself feel better. I shake the thoughts from my mind and grab a taxi back to the arena.

When I get there Katherine is sitting on the couch looking as if she has been waiting on me to get back. The expression on her face tells me she's not happy and she stands up when I come in which tells me she's about to start an argument.

"We'e been looking everywhere for you! I came back and you were gone without a note and you left your phone."

"I just went to get a drink at the bar down the street. I couldn't sleep so I thought maybe that would help." she stares intently at me for a moment before speaking again.

"It's her, isn't it? You're thinking about her again." she runs her fingers through her long blonde hair and turns her back to me. "I should have known the minute you started acting funny. You're not tired. The shows aren't wearing you out. You miss her. After three years you still miss her." I take a deep breath and close my eyes. This is the last thing I wanted. No matter what Katherine has always been good to me and I never wanted to hurt her. From the time I met her I wanted to give her all of my love and attention but I didn't choose to feel this way about Savannah even after all these years.

"It's not what it seems like." I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist and rest my chin on her shoulder. "Nothing's changed, honey. I still want to be with you. I promise you that." I kiss her neck softly as she turns her face to look at me.

"What is it about her that has you so hooked? Why can't you forget about her?" a million thoughts race through my head at that moment.

Her laugh.

Her smile.

Her voice when she would hum along with the guitar as I played.

Her lips when they touched mine.

How her body felt underneath mine in the sand by the pond.

Her soft tanned skin.

I snap myself out of it and stare back into Katherine's eyes.

"She left me." I whisper. "I think about her every now and then, but I'm here with you because I want to be with you. If I still wanted her, I wouldn't be here." I can tell she's still a little unsure, but she kisses me and turns to face me. Her arms wrap around my neck as she deepens the kiss and I run my hands down her sides to her hips where I rest them. I pull away from her and kiss the tip of her nose. "I am going to try to sleep now though. I'll see you when I wake up." she nods as I head back towards the bunk beds at the back of the bus. I slide into mine and close my eyes, hoping for some kind of sleep just so my mind will shut off for a few hours. So I can stop being tormented by all of these memories.

"How many girls have you been with?" Savannah asks me with a mischievous grin on her face as we sit on the tailgate of my truck parked out in the pasture behind my family's farm house. I'm a little shocked by her question and I can't help but laugh. "What's so funny? It's a serious question!" she defends.

"I know it is. Just an unexpected question. I've been with four. What about you? How many guys? Am I allowed to ask that or is it rude to ask a girl?" she laughs and rolls her eyes.

"If it were anyone else asking I would say it was rude. But since it's you, I won't take offense. I've been with one guy." I look up at her with a surprised look on my face.


"Don't sound so surprised. Did you think I was one of those girls that gets around?" the smile playing on her lips tells me she knows exactly why I'm surprised. The girls she hangs around aren't exactly shy about who they sleep with. It almost seems like a contest among them. Who can sleep with who first and other games like that. "You know what they say about assuming." she winks at me and takes my hand in hers. She laces her fingers around mine an sighs with contentment. The sun is shining right on her face and I can't help but wonder how I got so lucky. It makes me even happier to know she hasn't been around the block a few times with all of the guys in town.

I catch her staring at me and I arch an eyebrow at her. She laughs and leans towards me and presses her lips to mine. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me as the kiss gets deeper. Her fingers reach up to run through my hair and I slowly lean back, taking her with me. She straddles my waist and stares down at me with a nervous look.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing at all. I just, it's been so long and I just get nervous I guess." I sit up with her still straddling my waist and press a kiss to her forehead while running my fingers through her long hair.

"You have nothing to be nervous about." I whisper in her ear as I bite it softly. I feel her tremble and I can't help but grin against the skin of her neck. I suck on the soft skin just under her jaw and she leans her head back to give me more access. Her hands reach down to slide up the back of my shirt and I pull away from her long enough to let it slip over my head. I lift her up and lay her on her back and kiss up her stomach to her chest and finally to her lips. I'm surprised when she reaches down and unbuttons the button on her denim shorts and I bite my lip as she shimmies out of them leaving her in a pair of black silk panties. The look in her eyes almost drives me crazy because I know she's telling me I can do basically anything right now. I capture her lips with my own in an intense kiss as my hands wander up her sides under her shirt. As the material slides up her skin I press kisses to every inch of the newly exposed skin. Once it's off I can't help but stare down at her in amazement. Every inch of her is near perfection. I lean down and kiss the dark brown birthmark just above her right hipbone and she shivers under me which causes my whole body to ache with want.

"You're going to drive me insane, you know that?" I whisper up at her as I slip my fingers into the waist band of her panties. Her eyes are half closed as she bites her bottom lip. That alone causes my jeans to tighten and I reach down to unbutton them. I slide her panties down her legs run my hands up her inner thighs to her most sensitive spot. Her hands find my upper arms as she pulls me back up to be eye level with her. She presses her lips to mine and bites my bottom lip softly which causes a moan to escape my throat. I slide my hand down her leg to her knee and pull her leg up around my waist, causing my hard member to press into her core. Her back arches and the most beautiful sound leaves her lips. It's a sound I want to hear over and over again and know that it's me causing it. She reaches down and pushes my boxers down my legs and I'm a bit surprised at her forwardness but I can't help but grin at the same time as I slowly push into her. Her eyes snap shut and she sucks in a sharp breath. I know it probably hurts her like hell if she hasn't been with anyone in a while and part of me feels guilty for that. I let her adjust without moving with much difficulty since the feel of her is enough to kill me.

"I'm okay." she whispers in a breathy voice and I take that as a queue to keep going. I bury my face in her neck as I push in and out of her. Eventually I can feel her body lose the tension and I can tell she's enjoying it a lot more. She places her hand on my cheek and kisses me like I've never been kissed before. Her tongue slips into my mouth but as I hit a spot deep inside her she pulls away and digs her nails into my shoulders. Her back arches against me and that's all it takes for me to let go. The pleasure flows through my body like never before and I rest my head on her chest to catch my breath.

"Jesus." I whisper against her skin and I feel her laugh underneath me. I reach down and grab her panties and my old Bruce Springsteen tshirt for her to put on. I pull my boxers and jeans back up and lean against the side of the truck bed, trying my best to catch my breath and come back down to reality. She looks at me with her hair in her face and a content smile on her lips. At that moment she's never looked more beautiful to me. I take a hold of her wrist and pull her over to me. She rests her head on my chest and slips her arms around my waist.

"I think this has been the best day of my life." she looks up at me with tired eyes and I nod in agreement. I press a soft kiss to her forehead as her eyes flutter closed and run my fingers up and down her back.

"I couldn't agree more, babe."
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