I Can't Remember the Good Old Days

Alex sat on his bed, only staring at the wall. It probably was like 2 or 3am, but he could really care less. He had tried to contact some of his friends, or well, the people who used to be his friends. Apparently, he had stopped speaking to most of the people he was closest to, including his family, so he felt really lost. Rian had been helping him a lot during the week, but its not like they could spent every second together. Rian still had his own life, and he wasn't going to abandon it just because his 'friend is feeling lost'. Lisa and Matt had also visited him once, but he didn't have the guts to tell them about what he was going through. He knew that they would try and help him, but they would have to spend way too much time with him, and he didn't want to be a burden.

He visited his old neighborhood a few times, obviously avoiding Jack's and Zack's streets. It was slightly relaxing just going to the park and sit on one of the swings for a while. He missed that place already, even if he had only lived in his new house for a week. It was only around twenty-five minutes away in car, but it wasn't the same thing. It was weird not spending every minute of free time with Jack. Unconsciously, he moved his hand up to wipe the tears he hadn't even noticed until then. He was crying, again. Everything was overwhelming, too much to take in such little time. What had he done that ruined his whole life? He promised himself that he would never get involved with drugs again (even though he didn't remember the first time he did) and make sure to fix every problem with friends and family while it was still insignificant; but it had only been a week since he was released from the hospital and he was pretty sure that fixing everything would take him a bit more time than a week. It would take him probably like a year or two, maybe more.



"So… you don't remember any thing at all. That explains last week's visit to my place…" Austin said, staring at him. Alex had seen him walking his dog in the park and decided to talk to him. Austin was always nice and he could never be mad at somebody for too long. "Yeah… the doctor said I was lucky I even survived the fall, I hit my head pretty hard" he shrugged, looking down, "I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry, I really am… I just… I really need people to 'recreate' my memories. At least the good ones." Austin smiled sadly at him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I would love to help, Alex." Alex grinned and gave him a brief hug, "Thank you so so much, Austin" he said as he pulled away. They talked for a while, until Austin had to leave.

Alex stayed in the park, not really doing anything, just sitting there thinking. He wondered about his future life. During the last two weeks, he hadn't thought much about what was going to happen next. Maybe he would meet a cute girl and get married? Or just die alone, depressed over the fact that everyone hated him. He didn't really like either of the idea. For most people, getting married would be a dream, something they would wish for during all of their lives, or at least for most of it. But not for Alex. He was incapable of being tied up with only one person for too long. Sure, he couldn't think of life without his friends (although he should get started), but having a serious relationship with someone was a completely different thing.

Austin hadn't told him much of his old life and Alex didn't dare to ask for more. "Was I really that much of an asshole?" he thought out-loud, covering his face with his hands. "You were? Since when you stopped being one?" Alex was startled, not really expecting someone to answer him. "Long time, no see" Alex looked up, but didn't answer, just stared at the guy in front of him. "Long time, no see" Zack said, face emotionless, scaring Alex a little.

And he was completely right about being scared, because he wasn't expecting being back in the hospital so soon, just that this time, with a broken nose.