I Can't Remember the Good Old Days

"For fuck's sake! Why the fuck is he so desperate to talk to you?!" Cassadee exclaimed, covering her face with her hands in annoyance, "just answer your fucking phone, the mood's ruined anyway." Rian kissed her cheek, "Sorry, honey" he whispered softly against her skin. She smiled a little and looked down, "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything, okay? I'll try to ignore the sexual frustration by eating a gallon of ice cream" she said, before putting her shirt back on and walking out the room.

Rian sighted and took his phone, checking the caller ID. It read 'Jack', so he had supposed he had been calling to ask him to hang out, or just to tease him if he was bored. The thing is, Jack never tried this much, normally he would call once or twice (just in case Rian didn't hear his phone, or didn't catch it on time), three times was too much (maybe Zack couldn't hang out and he was really, really bored), but four times? Yeah, it must be something really important.

"What's up man?" he said into the phone, but was only answered with loud sobs and incomprehensible words. Rian did get some of the stuff he was saying, but he couldn't really connect the dots. "Wow, Jack, slow down, you're gonna drown on your own words" he said, and waited and Jack took stopped and took a deep breath, "Why i-is he thi-is wa-y, Ri? I-I ju-st don't under-understand…" he hiccupped, as he tried to stop crying, only making it worse. "Jack, what are you talking about? who are you talking about?" Rian said warily, thinking his words slowly, careful not to say anything that may make Jack feel worse. Jack was a like a little kid when he had this kind of 'breakdown scenes'. Well, Jack acted kind of like a kid always, but he could control himself when others weren't there to calm him down, except these days; the days that he felt so sad or angry (or a mixture of the two) enough to cry. He cried and yelled and told anyone he wanted them to leave him alone, but longed a hug more than anything. A long time ago, Alex was there to kiss it better. He always knew what to do and what to say, he was the only one who could truly make Jack feel good once again. That's why Jack never truly got better after Alex. No one knew what to do and he didn't know how to accept anyone else in, either. Zack and Rian usually managed to keep him from feeling this way, but its not like they can keep an eye on him every minute of everyday day.

"Okay, Jack, you need to breath, try to calm down a little." There was heavy breathing on the other side of the line and then silence. Rian took that as the signal to keep talking, "I'm coming over, Jack, why don't you call Zack, did you try to talk to him already?" Rian asked slowly. "N-no… I t-t-tried ca-calling Ho-olly, but she did-dn't answer" he was clearly still crying, but apparently he calmed down a little. "I'll be there in a minute, drink water and lay down and stuff, okay? Bye Jack…" Jack mumbled a small 'bye' before hanging up. Rian sighted, grabbed the first jeans he saw and quickly explained everything to his wife. He ran out their house, hopping in the jeans as he got in the car.



Jack was asleep in the couch, with a spoon in one hand and a half-eaten jar of Nutella in the other. Rian was cleaning the last few used tissues that were scattered around on the floor. They hadn't talked much at all. Jack hit him as soon as he crossed the door and then threw himself to Rian, clutching his shirt tightly in his hands and cried to his chest. He continuously yelled how 'he's an idiot' and how 'he's so self-centered'. He also scolded Rian to talking to him once again. It took a while for Rian to actually understand who Jack was talking about. Zack had passed by, leaving a bunch of food. He was an extremely nice guy, but he wasn't really good with feelings and he knew that he would end up crying as well, and what Jack needed right then was someone strong and stable.

Some people stop eating when they feel down, but Jack wasn't one of them. He always found comfort in food. He ate a whole pizza by himself, two or three bowls of ice-cream and finished drowning in his sorrows with a jar of Nutella. It was really weird seeing such a skinny guy eat that much. Rian ended up eating cereal, because Jack looked so sad and mad that Rian was afraid that the younger boy would get even more upset if he took a piece of pizza.

"Jack?" Rian whispered, placing his hand on Jack's shoulder, "Jack, are you asleep?" he tried again. He knew Jack was sleeping, but he wanted to make sure anyway. He took the jar and spoon from Jack and went to put them back in the kitchen, before grabbing his cellphone and dialing Alex's number. He still didn't have a cellphone (it was probably somewhere in his house, but Alex had been too lazy to look for it) so he hoped he was still in his house. It rang three times before Alex, sounding pretty wrecked, picked it up "Hello?" he practically whispered into the phone. He probably couldn't really speak any louder. "Alex, its me" Rian, also whispering, but just because he didn't want to wake Jack up. "Rian… fuck, I don't know what to do anymore, I want to fix things, but I don't think its possible anymore, I don't… shit, he hates me so much" he mumbled quietly. "What happened, Alex? Jack was sobbing... What did you do?" Rian questioned, sounding a bit too harsh. "YOU KNOW I have no fucking idea! He just came here and I was so, so happy when I saw him, but then he started fighting and I didn't know what to do and I just want things back to normal..." He trailed off and Rian felt bad, but after everything that happened with Jack, he was scared that Alex would remember and be an asshole once again. Rian briefly checked the living room to make sure Jack was still asleep, "Okay… can you please tell me exactly what happened?" he asked. "I'm not sure… he was yelling at me for something I did, but I'm not exactly sure what… He started saying how 'doing that wouldn't have made him forgive me'" he sighted, sniffling. "What did I do Rian?" he sounded so desperate and hurt, and Rian knew he couldn't keep avoiding the question.