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I Could Write It Better Than You Ever Felt It


I was seated on a plane in between Pete and Jack.
It was like my biggest dreams and worst nighmares were all coming true at the same time. I was both anxious and nervous for the flight and even more for what was to happen after we landed.
I tried to calm myself down without letting the guys know I was having issues. The Alice that knew flew all of the time. It wouldn't make sense to them if I began to have a panic attack right now out of the blue. These thoughts only stressed me out more.
I remember repeating in my head over and over; 'Just don't pass out...don't pass out...'

I tried to focus on something specific to take my mind off of things. To my left, Jack was playing around with his headphones-trying to untangle the cord-and also looked to be eavesdropping on the people in front of us. They knew who he was and they began whispering to each other on whether or not they should say something. This amused Jack immensely, as he even chuckled out loud at some points of their conversation.
To my right, it looked as if though Pete were texting everyone he had ever met in his entire life. His fingers were moving quickly over the keyboard on his phone as he stared at the screen intently. Probably last minute party plans, I assumed. This was going to ba a long flight.

My nerves subsided for a moment, as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
One new text message and one old one. The old one was from Becki.

"I can't wait to see you, only a few more hours! Have a safe flight. :)"

I smiled down at the words on the small cell phone screen. I was excited to see her too. Even if she thought I was someone else, it would still be a relief to see a familiar face. I pressed a few more buttons and got to my newest message. It was from Alex.

"Still can't believe you're on a plane with Jack and Pete, hahaha. How awkward is it on a scale of one to ten?"

I laughed a little and Alex's words. We had spent a good hour trying to think of a way to get me out of this, but we had no luck. We had just left the tour buses only about three hours ago and I already was feeling lost without someone I could be honest with. With only Jack and Pete around, I had to completely be Alice Wentz at all times.

'Oh my, definitely a ten. Maybe even an eleven. No ones talking and I think Pete is still kind of mad at Jack. I'm so nervous about this party and everyone that is going to be there. And what if the plane crashes and I die and they identify my body as Alice Wentz and no one will ever know that wasn't really me...'

I quickly hit send before I could rambled on even more. I looked over at Jack again. He was about to stand up and introduce himself to the fans in front of us. I didn't see the outcome, however, because my phone buzzed again quickly.

"Don't be nervous. You made it this far living on a tour bus with complete strangers, you can last through a plane ride and a party. And no more thinking of crashes! Try not to pass out!"

Once again, Alex's words were calming me down faster than I could imagine. I must have looked identical to Pete now, as I stared thoughtfully into my phone.

'I'll try not to. But it's hard not to think about everything when you're stuck doing nothing for six hours.'

Flight attendants began walking around telling us that we would be taking off soon and to prepare to shut our electronic devices off. Pete sighed heavily as he reluctantly put his phone into airplane more. I waited a few more moments for Alex to send me one last message, and I'm glad I did.

"Yeah, flying sucks. Ask Jack to tell you weird stories, or better yet just try to sleep. Try and imagine all of your stress turning into tiredness and just sleep it all off. It's weird here without you, by the way. I feel like we should be having our 'secret meetings' or a séance or something, haha. Be careful, I'll text you later."

I smiled as I shut off my phone. I felt better. I don't know what it was that did it exactly, but it was as if I couldn't remember why I was upset in the first place. I knew Jack and Pete enough now to sit with them on a plane., and they would be with me at this party. I wouldn't be alone. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Imagine all of your stress turning into tiredness; I chuckled at the thought. It was such a simple statement, and actually sounded kind of childish. But it made me feel so much better. Or maybe it was just the person who was saying it to me. Either way, I drifted right off to sleep as soon as we had taken off.
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