Revenant

June had always warned me to be wary of Lou; that as the days and weeks slipped by his infatuation was growing to something that made her nervous as he spoke more and more of his irritation with my behavior and my ‘inability to see the potential we had’. My next encounter with Lou after those conversations always included a discussion of how much I appreciated his friendship but saw nothing more. It did the trick for a few weeks, or months, but eventually June would once again return to me with the same concerns, and once again I would react with a laugh and an eye-roll in her presence. That pattern continued up until her final warning before my demise.

Two days before my death we had met after class at a small bookstore downtown. She had unconsciously picked at her ivory nail polish while I perused the local history section; a nervous tick of hers I had picked up on as the years went by.

“What is it this time, June?” I had asked off-handedly as I flipped through the pages of a book detailing the town’s history during the Civil War.

She had frozen briefly, before heaving a large sigh, “We need to talk about Lou.”

“If he’s going to ask me out again we all three know the answer to that. How many times have I rejected his advances now? You’d think he’d pick up on the fact I don’t see him like that at some point, wouldn’t you?” I had muttered with disinterest.

The air had been still, then, she sucked in a large breath, and pushed some stray strands of black hair out of her face. “Did you know he was watching you outside your bedroom window the other night, Greer?”

My gaze had left the page immediately, settling on her dark, almond eyes.

“He let it slip accidentally,” she had continued, satisfied to finally have my attention. “So he tried to play it off like he was just passing by, but you live on the opposite side of town, don’t you?”

“What did he say?”

“Same thing he always does, except a bit creepier,” she admitted. “That he wished he could have been there for you as more than a friend because you looked so lonely, and that one day your bedroom or face won’t look so bleak anymore because he’ll have your heart.”

Irritation over Lou’s ceaseless infatuation was nothing new; the boiling fury towards the boy I felt at June’s words as well as a nipping hint of alarm were unfamiliar territory. She had calmed me down, convinced me that nothing good would come of a direct confrontation in the heat of the moment. I had finally agreed, promising to give myself a few days before I even attempted to speak to him.

The next day, June received news that her grandmother in Alaska had passed in the early hours of the morning; that evening she had boarded a plane with her parents and younger brother to go attend the funeral and work out the will that was divided between five siblings.

The day after I found myself at Lou’s front door; still a bit angry, but not near so much as I had been. He had been pleasantly surprised, letting me in and leading me down to the basement living area we always frequented when I came over. I took my place on the sofa, as he plopped carelessly onto the loveseat that helped it form an L-shape. The first thirty minutes were peaceful, idle chat with awkward pauses laced at every turn. Sparks of electricity began to dance in the air around the time he jokingly mentioned going on a date.

“Haven’t I made it clear enough that I’m not interested, Lou?” I had asked, tone a bit sharper than usual.

“But you won’t even give it a chance, Greer, I mean, come on, one date? Why not try spending some time with me as a man than as just a friend, could it really hurt? I know if we give this a try that you’ll see how good we can be,” he had pleaded, eyebrow furrowed and eyes piteous to give it the full effect.

June’s words sprung forth to the front of my mind further negating his already useless attempt.

I had snapped. “And just why would I want to date someone who was watching me from outside my bedroom window, huh, Louis? If you don’t respect me as a person, as a friend, why the hell would I want to date you? This is not going to change over time. No means no; no, I will not date you; no, I am not interested in you; no, we will never be anything more than—“

Lou’s movements had been lightening quick, crossing the small space between the two couches before I even realized what was going on. I had felt the sudden pressure of his fingers against my throat, tightening without mercy as they constricted my airflow. The weight of him straddling my chest felt like nothing compared to the stifling sensation of my lungs desperate for air and the terror that brought.

“I won’t let you do this again, I won’t fucking let you turn me down so easily again! Goddammit, Greer, you’re going to see how fucking great we could be together!” His voice had been crazed as his fingers continued to press relentlessly into my throat, eyes colored with a blinding rage as his assault continued. The panic had stayed in my system until my last moment of consciousness, as his enraged figure faded into a fuzzy black and the guttural screams that had ceased to be understandable fell mute to my ears.

After my demise my thoughts often drifted back to that day, and the encounter with June a short time before. It made me realized I had possessed Lou’s heart in a way he could never have mine; so in turn he had possessed my life.

I watched his sleeping figure with an ever-present distaste. It was the first night he had slept through my wails and harsh whispers in over a week; his unshorn face seemed pallid, disheveled curls long past needing a trim. Even the bars couldn’t save him then; my presence was extinguishing any ties he had to the outside world. He had locked himself in his house, and resided mainly in the tainted sheets of his bed even during the day.

I couldn’t help but offer a small smirk as I reached down, fingers scratching harshly along his scalp as I ran my fingers through his hair. I was going to possess his heart until the very bitter end.