Blue and Yellow

I awoke the next morning curled up on Bert's couch, a blanket pulled up over me and tucked in around the corners. I opened my eyes wider and stretched out my legs from underneath me, exhaling as I did so. As I let my legs drop back down onto the ground I smelled fresh coffee coming from behind me.

"Good morning glory," I heard Bert day from behind me.

I looked up at his voice and saw a floating mug of coffee above my head. Smiling I grabbed the mug and brought it down to my lap.

"Morning to you too," I said as I breathed in my coffee.

"Hazelnut?" I asked as I sniffed my coffee again.

"Yeah I had a little hazelnut coffee flavoring sitting in my cupboard and figured it would be nice seeing as how that's the coffee you drink," Bert said as he sat down on the couch besides me with his own cup of coffee.

"Thanks," I said as I sipped my coffee gently, making sure as not to burn my tongue

"You know that we have an appointment waiting us at the hospital?" Bert said after a few minutes of silence as we drank our coffee.

"Yeah," said as I leaned over and grabbed my cigarettes and lighter.

I sat and smoked a cigarette and finished my coffee before talking again.

"I need to get back to the Haven to change and what have you before I go," I said in a flat monotone tone.

"All right, that sounds like a plan," Bert said and then stood to take his and my mug back to the kitchen.

I heard him sigh from behind me but I didn't look behind me.

"You know that you don't have to always be so cold-ish or stand off-ish when someone offers you something. I'm just trying to be kind to someone I consider a friend, if not more," Bert said, the last little bit coming out fairly soft, as if he didn't mean to add it.

I wanted to reply. To say I was sorry. To say that it was just my defense mechanism, the only way I knew how to defend myself. It was how I dealt with what had happened to me over the years. How I dealt with men. But I couldn't. I couldnt bring myself to say those things. Even though I wanted to, and didn't know why.

"I think I should go back to the Haven now," I said, staring at the television that had ceased to be on.

"All right. I'll pick you up at like five or so," Bert said blandly as he opened his front door for me and waited for me to leave.

I grabbed my purse and headed out to his car, head hanging down as I stared at my feet as they moved across the pavement. At the car I opened the door before Bert could open the door and sat in the front seat, not even bothering to buckle my seat belt. When he got into the car he started it without looking at me, and I felt my face drop a bit more. I had really screwed this up. Big time.

"I still want to be there for you," Bert said as he backed out the driveway and turned down the street.

I didn't say anything the entire car ride. I just sat there with my hands in my lap staring out the window watching life go by. Finally we got to the Haven and Bert pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine, taking the keys out of the ignition and placed them in his lap. I took a giant breath and turned to face him.

"I'm sorry for being like I am. It's just the way things work, it's how I deal with things. My defense mechanism. It's how I deal with people, it's how I cope. And I'm sorry," I said as I lifted the door handle and started to get out.

"Maybe I'll be able to help you learn another way to cope," Bert said as I got out.

I turned and smiled at him. And it felt genuine. And I was hoping he could tell, because I couldn't use my words. As I was walking in font of the car Bert all of a sudden laid on the horn as hard as he could for about three seconds. I leapt into the air, the breath literally scared right out of me.

When I turned to glare at him in the front seat he was laughing and pointing at me, the laughter was back in his eyes. I tried to keep my glare up but I could feel a smile trying to break its way through my stern exterior. So I simply flipped him off. This only caused him to laugh harder and I then heard his impish giggle come through the window. I scowled one more time at him, shook my fist and walked inside. I guess he had been able to read my eyes after all.

-xXx-

"I'm so nervous, I'm so nervous, I'M SO NERVOUS!" I said as I was pacing in the waiting room of the emergency room.

I finally sat down and as if on cue my leg started bouncing in place. Repeatedly. All the guys had kept to their word and were in fact sitting in the waiting room with me. I went from having no friends to having an entourage all in the blink of an eye. And they really seemed like decent guys, doing this for someone they didn't even know. And it helped, having them there. But not enough to calm my jittery bouncing leg. Till a hand placed itself on my knee softly.

"It's okay Eli. Remember? I'm going in with you. Everything will be okay," Bert said as he moved his hand in soft little circles on my knee.

It was reassuring, it was nice to have someone really and truly trying to comfort me, because they cared at least even some what. Hell it was nice to have someone sitting beside me in the waiting room who had actually come with me. It was nice to have his hand on my knee, just touching me without asking or demanding for more. It was just there. And it was warm. And my leg hadn't bounced since he placed it on there.

"Elise Krane?" a lady in a nurses scrubs came out with a clipboard.

"Here," I said as I stood up.

Bert stood up beside me and gently took my good hand in his and squeezed reassuringly. I smiled slightly at him and nodded my thanks to the rest of the guys waiting.

"We'll be back soon I hope," I told them.

"We'll be right here when you get out," Quinn said for all three of them.

They smiled at me and I turned to follow the now impatient looking nurse down to my next waiting room.