Blue and Yellow

For the next few days I sort of avoided people, especially Joyce. The day I had run from B I had come running into the Haven quickly, crying and clutching my arm to my chest. I was afraid of suspicion. I was afraid of more questions. So I holed up in my room, skipping meals completely, just living on water. And I wrote. I wrote a lot. It felt weird being twenty four and writing in a journal. But it helped. And it wasn't always journal entries. Sometimes it was random quotes or phrases I came up with that described how I was feeling or something, sometimes it was bits and pieces of lyrics or even full blown songs I came up with. Sometimes it was a simple sketch, or a shape I drew over and over again till I felt better. I guess it was therapy. It helped. It helped me get myself back together, or what semblance of self I had managed to regain.

Eventually I returned to my normal routine here at the Haven. Still keeping to myself but for around the kids. I read, I wrote, I took strolls around the Haven property and even the park. I did a lot. I even started carrying my notebook around with me, even in its sad condition since I kept cutting cardboard off the back to use for splints on my wrist. But I took it everywhere. I even started doing random sketches in it while I was in the park. I always had my pen or pencil stuck behind my ear.

I eventually went back to the cafe, but I would peer in the corner of the far window first to see if B was in there. I wasn't in the mood for a confrontation, especially since I knew it would lead to questions. Finally on my third consecutive return there, with my notebook in hand I noticed something was different.

"One small hazelnut coffee please," I told the girl behind the counter.

Her name was Krissy, and I knew she knew my order by now but it was just habit.

"Here ya go Eli," she said.

Yeah, they knew my name now. Especially since I always ordered the same thing. A small hazelnut coffee.

"Thanks," I said handing over the dollar fifty it cost and started to walk away.

"No Eli, there's no cost," Krissy said as she pushed my money back towards me on the glass counter.

"What? Is there like a free small coffee thing going on today?" I asked confused as I took my money back, grateful, but still confused.

"No, it was just already paid for," Krissy explained as she went to the next customer in line.

"What? By who?" I asked, still confused, if not more so.

"It just was. Don't worry about it," she said as she went to go make an expresso.

I stood there for a moment longer still staring blankly at the counter before I shook my head to get myself aware of my surroundings again. I took a moment to turn and scan the people in the cafe. I didn't recognize anyone. Big surprise there. And no one seemed to be paying any particular attention to me, like they had just bought me a coffee. In fact no one was paying me any attention at all. Thank god.

So I took my coffee, wait my FREE coffee, and went to sit at what I had come to call my table in the back. Sitting down I took a sip of my steaming cup of goodness and then cracked open my ratty looking notebook and began pouring out my thoughts.

I waved good bye to Krissy when I finally decided to leave and she smiled and waved back. Were we friends? No. Possibly becoming acquaintances. She knew my coffee order and passed idle small talk with me. 'Twas all. I still didnt have any friends. People were just starting to know my name at certain places. I have a habit of making my life one giant routine. So people got use to it and me. Like at my next stop.

"Eight seventy five Eli," the boy I come to know as Lee said from behind the counter of the gas station.

"Thanks Lee," I said as I handed him the exact change and took my buy two get one free Marlboro medium cigarettes.

Like I said. Routine. Not friends.

-xXx-

I went back to the cafe two days later for some coffee as normal.

"Small hazelnut coffee please Krissy," I said at the counter.

"You know Eli, I know your order like the back of my hand. You would think you wouldn't need to say it every time," Krissy said as she went and got my coffee.

"Routine Habit. Sorry. It exercises my mouth so I dont forget how to talk," I said with a smile as I dug for my wallet.

"Well here's a new thing to add to your routine of habits. It's free, it's already been paid for," she said as she handed me my coffee.

"What?" I asked, completely and utterly shocked beyond belief.

This was twice now. I quickly scanned the place. Same as the time before.

"Who is it?" I asked Krissy.

"I have no idea. All I know is that I write it on a sheet of paper when you come in and that it's paid for. And I'm under strict instructions to do it every time you come in. Regardless of what you get. I tried to tell my boss that you only ever got a small hazelnut coffee, but he said whatever you got it was paid for. I have no idea who is doing it though. So I suggest you just deal and maybe revel in the fact that someone is willing to pick up your order," Krissy said as she added foamed milk to the top of a cappachino.

"I, I, I," I stuttered.

"Go. Sit. Drink coffee. Write. Be happy," Krissy ordered as she handed the customer their cappachino.

So I did.

And every time I came in it was the same way. I said my order, Krissy would roll her eyes and chuckle and when she gave it to me she would deny my money. It was paid for she would repeat slowly, since I seemed to be lacking the brain capacity to catch on. I came in twice or three times a week sometimes even four or so, always doing the same thing. Drinking my still small coffee, sitting at my table in the back and writing or what have you in my journal. It was routine, except for the number of times a week I came in.

Then one day it changed. Krissy pushed my coffee forward for me to grab and then as I went to walk away she cleared her throat loudly. I turned back around and saw her holding a plate out towards me. I raised an eyebrow wondering what she was on about.

"Take it before I carry it to your table and demand a pay raise from my boss for waitressing as well making coffee," Krissy said with a smirk playing on her lips.

I went up and took the plate.

"Thank you," I said.

"No thank mystery tab picker upper," she said and then went back to work.

I went to my table and placed my items down. It was a blondie, or a blonde brownie some would call it. It was good. I didn't complain. But I still felt extremely weird.

And from then on I was handed a plate every time I got my coffee. I would question every time, but I always got the same answer. Finally I just gave up.

Then a little after a month or so of this I got handed a bakery item that I recognized. It was a giant sugar cookie with extra sugar on top in the form of toxic looking blue and yellow icing. I smiled at the cookie and then frowned. I had really scared off the only person to ever really talk to me since I got into the situation I was in. The only person, besides Krissy kind of, that seemed genuine in their attitude towards me.

"Oh well," I sighed as I made my way through all the customers and other tables towards the back where mine was situated.

For some odd reason I started humming the song Blue and Yellow by The Used. The cookie reminded me of the song for some reason. Probably because of the toxic colors of the icing. I hummed happily till I was within a foot of my table saw the back of someone sitting there. I was pissed, and then bummed since it was my table. Or so I came to think. I stopped my humming and stared at the back of the person with their long tangled black hair, glaring.

"I was hoping you'd sit with me and not just stare at the back of my head glaring," a familiar voice said, familiar now in two ways.

"Well hello B," I said cautiously as I approached my side of the table.