Blue and Yellow

My ears started to hum. It was an amazing sound. It was the sound of all their fans screaming, and chanting, and talking loudly, and shouting, and basically going crazy. And then as a few roadies walked in front of a light or something and their reflection was cast upon the giant black sheet separating the stage from the audience their screams would increase thinking it was the guys. I stood in awe.

"It's what we do this for day in and day out," I heard someone say beside me.

It was Quinn.

"I can see why. Just standing here listening to it has given me goose bumps," I said as I rubbed my arm through my hoodie.

"It's something else that's for sure. Hope you like the show Eli," Quinn said before walking out onto the stage to take his place for when the curtain dropped.

Jeph and Dan followed, and the screams just escalated as the fans knew that finally their idols were gracing the stage and that soon the show would start.

"Wish us luck," Bert said as he walked up to me on his way to the stage.

And then he kissed my cheek. My ugly, still slightly bruise pocked cheek. I stuck my hand up to it and watched as he jogged onto the stage. He stopped and turned to wink at me. He took his spot in the direct center, right in front of one of the giant white mini spot lights. He turned so his back was facing where the crowd was and stood with his feet placed far apart, his shadow cast and magnified onto the curtain. Then Dan started a simple bass beat on the drum and Bert started stepping one foot to the beat, the kids went wild as they watched his reflection from outside the sheet. Bert all of a sudden shot one arm into the air that held the mic and the curtain dropped. The sound was deafening. I could literally feel my ears going deaf at the screaming reactions from the fans filling the theater. And I felt the hairs on my arms stand on end. It really was an entrance.

I stood there and danced around to the music after a few songs of just standing there. I couldn't help. I really liked there music. And already had before tonight. I decided to just go with it and let myself sing along with the songs. I jumped around and danced in place as I belted out the lyrics to all my favorite songs. I knew everyone they played. It was amazing. I was transported away. Whisked away to somewhere where I wasn't abused, where I wasn't riddled with old bruises and scrapes given to me by ones I thought I cared for. Where I wasn't living in a safe Haven with almost no money to my name, where I owned more than a medium sized duffel bags worth of items. To a place where I could be myself, where I didnt ever again feel like I was dying on the inside. To a place where I was strong all the time. And then they played it. They played Buried Myself Alive.

I couldn't help it, I let myself go for the song. It was what had kept me going, that one line that spoke to me and kept me breathing. Kept me fighting. It was the reason I had been able to make myself get so far.

I had no idea if the guys had seen me during the show or not, but when it ended and the screaming stopped and the encore was done and they came off stage Bert had a look on his face. I sheepishly followed behind them towards the green slash dressing room, my feet shuffling and my head bowed. When I got in and Quinn shut the door to the stage behind me I stood by it without moving, without lifting my head or saying anything.

"You sneaky sneaky little..... well for lack of a better word. Fan," Bert said as he approached me.

Guess they had seen me rocking out on the side of the stage. I was busted. I took a chance and glanced up at him, trying to get a look in his eyes. I had the ability to be able to read the hardest to read person just by looking into their eyes. It didnt matter how much they bottled themselves up, kept themselves under lock and key, I could always read them by looking in their eyes. And when I looked in his I sighed. His eyes held nothing but their normal sparkle, their normal laughter as if his smile stretched up into his eyes. And if it was at all possible they looked to be laughing even more than usual.

"Oops," I said softly, averting my eyes from his and looked over at the vanities on the side of the room.

"Oops my ass. How come you didn't say anything?" Bert asked as he changed positions so he was standing in front of my line of sight again.

"Because I didn't recognize you for who you were till you told me your full first name the other night. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately and my brain never really tried to figure out why you seemed so familiar to me. That's all," I said as I looked into his eyes this time without taking my glance away.

This time the laughter and smile form his eyes leaked down onto his face, and he smiled.

"But why after that why didn't you say something, or anything? You just acted normal," he said, his smile still present and getting bigger.

"Because you were so excited about your surprise that I didn't want to kill it for you, so I played it ignorant. And why did I act normal? Well aren't you guys just normal people as well? You happen to be musically talented yes, but you're still normal people. Don't you like being treated like normal people?" I asked, confused.

"Yes. Quite a lot in fact," Quinn piped up from his chair.

"It's really a breath of fresh air actually not to be screamed over by someone who knows who we are," Jeph added.

"And while I ca'nt really say much since I'm new to this whole game, I can agree with both of them," Dan added from his seat.

"How long have you been a fan?" Bert asked instead of answering my question.

"Since the very beginning," I said and went back to looking at anything else but Bert.

"Give it up for our very own hard core long time super fan that actually treats us like normal people, Eli Krane! Woo hoo!!" Bert shouted all announcer like, as if I had just won a boxing match.

I smiled at the goofiness of it. Smiled till he grabbed my wrist and held it into the air like I really was the winner of a boxing or wrestling match. Smiled till my face went white, drained of all its color, and my knees buckled and I let out a gasp of pain and nearly crumpled to the floor. At my outburst Bert automatically let go of my wrist and let my hand and arm fall back to my side. I immediately wanted to cradle it to my chest but I didnt want to give myself away any more than I had. The other guys had looks of shock and confusion on their faces as I looked up, trying to regain some of my composure.

"Hey Eli can you come with me for a sec?" Bert asked and motioned for me to follow him.

I nodded me head yes and hung it back down to where I was use to keeping it and followed him back out the door that led to the stage. He closed the door behind us and took me a few feet from it before stopping me where we couldnt be seen nor heard by anyone.

"What's wrong with your wrist?" Bert asked me carefully.

I shook my head.

"Come on it's the second time I've seen you do this when your wrist has been grabbed. What's wrong?" Bert asked.

I could tell he was trying to look into my eyes and I avoided it. I kept moving my head so I wouldn't have to look into them. And see what I knew would be there because while I might be able to read anyone by their eyes he wore his whole world in them. And I knew I would give myself away in mine.

"Nothing," I said, setting my shoulders and getting ready for the argument.

"Lies are for liars Eli. I want to know the truth," Bert said.

That was it, I was sick of the questioning, the third degree. Why couldn't he just let it and me alone already.

"Nothings wrong now leave me alone for fucks sake Bert, jesus," I swore, using anger to cover up for everything else.

I waited for him to explode back on me, its what always happened. I would finally speak my piece, or raise my voice in defense, or in this case to cover up for something, and the guy would explode. And I would get hit. And I'd lose.

So I waited. And nothing happened. Then I winced and gasped again, and then looked down. He had simply wrapped his index finger and thumb around my small wrist and held them there, barely touching it. And I had winced and gasped in pain. I was screwed.

"I'm serious Eli. I want to know what's up. You can't hide it from me I want the truth. No more dicking around," Bert said softly, though I could tell all jovialness was gone from his voice.