A Condition and It's Terminal

I gave a small laugh. "What? Your joking right?" I watched him waiting for him to smile and tell me how it was really only sore muscles from playing so hard. I mean, come on, Leukemia? There's no way.

"I wish I was only joking Bob. Unfortunately, I'm not kidding. This is only an assumption, however, and we will have to run a few tests before I can diagnose you with anything. It should only take a few hours to do the tests and get the results."

I stared at him in disbelief. Cancer? Seriously? "Doctor, I don't have a few hours. I have a show to play soon. We're going to have to cancel if I get tests done. Can't this wait until next week? We have Tuesday off next week."

"Bob, this is very serious. You need to be tested now. If you have Leukemia like I suspect, it will be important to start getting treatments soon. How long have you been having back troubles and pain in your bones?" He picked up the file again and began marking.

"Uh, about a month and a half ago I guess." The possibility that cancer could be surging through my bones as we spoke still hadn't really registered in my brain. It really did seem preposterous. Everyday you hear about more people getting cancer. You hear about people dying from cancer. You hear survivors share their stories on defeating cancer. But now, it's me. It's so different hearing that your the one who might have cancer this time. Not your second cousin, not your friend's uncle. You.

"Mmm," Was his reply. He stopped writing and looked up at me. "Well, your a grown man. We can't force you to have tests done, but it would certainly be in your best interest to have tests done immediately. Although it only starts in the bone marrow, ALL can spread to other organs and start causing other serious issues if you don't start dealing with it properly. And the fact that you mentioned being more prone to headaches could mean it has started. Although I might be wrong and it could be something less serious, I would recommend having the tests now so we can begin arranging treatments if it is ALL."

I sighed heavily and put my head in my hands. Why me? Why now? I have thousands of fans standing in line at a stadium right now who want to hear My Chemical Romance perform. How can I let them all down? What if they don't get another chance to go to a My Chem concert?

"Can we just schedule the tests for next Tuesday? I can't let all of those people down. I hate canceling shows, and tests can be done anytime without disappointing people." I looked up to see what his reaction would be. I should have known I wouldn't get one, I mean he's a doctor he learns not to react to many things.

"If your sure. I can schedule you in for 4:00 Tuesday afternoon if that's convenient?" He said examining what I guessed was a schedule for the rest of the month.

"Yes, that'll be good." I looked up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was only thirty minutes until the show. Have I really been here that long? "Oh, the show starts soon. Is there some pain medicine you can give me for now?" I stood up getting closer to the door to hopefully speed up the leaving process, I didn't want to be late.

"Yes. If you'd like I can just get Worm to come back after he drops you off for the show and I'll have it by then. But it is very important that you get checked out next week. Please keep an eye out for any abnormal body functions, pains becoming more frequent or taking longer to fade, and any other issues you may notice. Good luck on your performance Bob, I'll see you next week." He closed his file and opened the door so I could leave. After I left the room he came out and went the opposite way down the hall.

I walked as quickly as I could to Worm who drove us to the venue where the rest of the guys had already warmed up. When I came in they all stopped the various things they were doing to look at me and it made me nervous. I didn't like having all of the attention on me, especially when I might have serious news that I don't really feel like sharing yet, or ever if the doctor turned out to be right. And I knew that's what they were expecting, of course. They wanted to know how it went, and what the doctor said. But how could I tell them what he suspects? I decided to just skim over the appointment and leave out the majority of the details.

"Hey guys. The doctor said he would prescribe me some pain medicine that Worm will have for me after the show, and to watch for any new problems. I have another appointment next week, just a few tests and stuff." I waited to see if that would be enough. Naturally, it wasn't.

Mikey furrowed his eyebrows while he looked at me. "Tests? Is it serious?"

I chewed on my lip ring for a second while he spoke. "Uh, well I don't think so but he just wants to make sure."

"Why didn't he just do the tests today?" I looked over at the inquisitor to see Gerard's curious face.

I let out a sigh before continuing. "He wanted to but if he did I wouldn't have been able to play the show. So, I asked to have it next week instead."
"What?" Four voices chimed all at the same time. Before they could condemn me for my recent decision, a man stuck his head around the corner telling us it was time to go on stage. I was so grateful towards that man I could have hugged him. I was the first one out of the room and on stage sitting on my stool.

As soon as the curtains rolled back I felt as if I had made the right decision on coming here instead of having some test done. As soon as I heard the audience screaming I was soaked up in the music and there was no such thing as doctors, or tests. And there was definitely no such thing as cancer.