Don't Give Up (On Me)

CHRISTMAS DAY

I let out a laugh as I sat beside Shane in the O’Callaghan living room. “Don’t be so mean to your brother.”

“He didn’t even hear me,” Shane smirked, satisfied he got away with it.

I punched him in the arm. “Still,” I looked over at John who sat on the floor by the Christmas tree, Jonah in his lap. All of his attention was taken by the little boy and it was the most adorable thing. I stood and walked over to the two, sitting beside John, who greeted me with a kiss.

“Hey, who’s that?” John cooed to Jonah, facing him towards me. “Is that your aunty LeiLei?”

“Lei Lei!” Jonah gurgled. He was a bit behind on the speech thing because he had some sort of slow learning condition, so he didn’t always understand what people were saying to him or what he was saying himself.

John pulled him in for a big hug. “That’s my smart little guy.”

“You’re so cute,” I chuckled.

“I know right, look at him-“

“No you,” I laughed, kissing his cheek. “With him, it’s adorable to watch.”

He blushed as Jonah wriggled out of his lap and stumbled over to Shane. “Shut up.” He moaned, pulling me into his lap with his long legs stretched out around me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. “Merry Christmas Lei,” he sighed contently. “I’m glad we stayed home and didn’t go to New York.”

“Me too,” I nodded, feeling his lips on the back of my neck. “I’m glad we’re here with your family.”

“And you’re still up for 8123 tonight?” He asked.

I nodded again. “Of course, like I’d miss that.”

Jenny came out of the kitchen to let us know that lunch was ready. We all headed to the dining table to eat. It was good to have everyone here. Ross had brought his future-Mrs and Jonah of course, and Shane was riding solo because apparently it was too soon to bring his new girlfriend home with him. We’d seen my parents that morning but had spent most of our day at the O’Callaghan’s. The women (yes, that means myself included) cooked up a storm in the kitchen, although we had to hand it to Jenny for making it all come together so well. This was a big deal for her to have all of her sons home so I knew she was going to go all out.

“Before we begin, I’d just like to say something,” she declared, raising her glass.

All three of her boys groaned on demand. Jonah giggled and copied them.

“Boys,” Jay scolded, “let your mother speak. Make it quick dear, I’m starving.”

I supressed a chuckled as Jenny swatted her husband on the arm.

“I just want to say that it makes me extremely happy that all my babies are home. That includes you, Leighton and Julie.” She gushed, placing a hand over her heart. “Shane, I’m so proud of you for graduating high school this year and I’m so impressed with how well you’re going at college. We all are.”

“Thanks mom,” Shane blushed.

“And Ross, you’ve grown into such a wonderful father over the past few years and I know you make Julie so very happy and I can’t wait to see your family grow. Thank you sweetheart for making my son extremely happy.” She nodded, getting a bit teary.

“Thanks ma,” Ross chuckled.

Jenny turned to John and I felt his hand shake. He was nervous she wouldn’t have anything to say about him. “And you, my baby-“

“I told you she had favourites.” Shane scoffed to Ross.

I hit Shane over the back of his head. “Continue,” I nodded to Jenny.

She chuckled and wiped her eyes. “It’s good to have you home sweets. Just remember you’ll always have us here to come home to.”

John bit his lip. “Thanks mom.”

“And Leighton, if it wasn’t for you, I don’t think we’d be-“

“Jenny don’t,” I pouted, covering my face. “You’re going to make me cry.”

I heard them all laugh and John chuckled, pulling me into his chest.

“Ma I think she gets it. She’s the reason why I’m here. I love her, she knows you love her, I think we get it.” John smirked, kissing my temple.

“Alright, alright; dig in!”

***

Later on in the afternoon John and I were at home, swapping our own Christmas presents with each other. And when I say that, I do actually mean presents. It was wasn’t just a code for Christmas themed sex. We didn’t have much of a Christmas tree, John just bought me a huge bouquet of red roses yesterday so we put them in a vase and improvised. But, we had covered the inside of our house in Christmas lights so it was somewhat festive.

We sat on the floor eating leftovers from lunch and drinking coffee as we watched some crappy Christmas movie while swapping our gifts. I got him a few button-up shirts, a few records and some cigars (only for special occasions) as general presents but I’d also scoured the internet for a skull ring to match the tattoo on his forearm. The one I’d found was real silver and had painted by a native Indian tribe. It was expensive, but I knew he’d appreciate it.

“Holy shit Lei, that’s beautiful,” he murmured, holding the box in front of him. “It’s not an engagement ring, right?” He teased.

I rolled my eyes and shoved him. “Don’t be an ass.”

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, “I love it, thank you.” He leant over and kissed me softly. “Thank you baby.”

“I’m glad you like it,” I responded happily.

“I love all of my presents, thank you so much. It means a lot that you’re still thinking of me- I mean I know you probably got these before my whole ‘breakdown’ and we were in a shitty place then so I can understand how you must have been feeling. You’re incredibly selfless Leighton Johnson and I love you so much.” He said.

I felt tears in my eyes so I looked away. “John…you’re making me cry.”

“I’m sorry bub,” he chuckled, “today has just been…god I haven’t felt this good in a really long time Lei, I’m nervous about rehab tomorrow but I’m happy to do it because it’s going to make you happy.”
I kissed him repetitively on the lips. “I love you so much.”

“So I can give you your present now?” He asked.

“I guess so,” I teased.

“Close your eyes,” he nodded, “and don’t worry, it’s not another ring.”

I rolled my eyes but closed them. “Stop saying that.”

I felt a set of keys in my hands and raised by eyebrows. “John-“

“Okay, don’t freak out, alright? Don’t worry about anything. Open your eyes.” He said calmly.

I did as he said and looked at the set in confusion. There was one key cut twice. “I don’t understand?” I said, looking up at him.

“They’re keys to our new place,” he spoke softly.

My eyes widened. Oh god, was this another not-thought out idea? “John…”

“Okay let me explain,” he nodded, “don’t panic Lei, it’s for a loft house downtown, closer to everyone else and closer to your work and closer to the studio for me- it’s bigger than this place so there’s an extra room and a studio that we can split and the kitchen is bigger and-“

I kissed him quickly to make him stop talking. “Babe, why do we need to move? We’re okay here.” I murmured, caressing his cheek.

He sighed and looked through the hall to the stairs. “I pushed you down those stairs. I strangled you in the upstairs hallway. I almost broke your wrist at the kitchen table.” He looked at the rug we were sitting on. “Babe underneath this rug my blood stains the carpet. I had a fit in our bed- if I’m going to rehab, I don’t think I can come home to live in this place. I know it’s our first home together but I think we need to move on from it.”

He was right. All the bad memories now overpowered the good ones. He had a point about moving and if he thought it was going to help him, I was on his side.

“But how can we afford it?” I asked softly. “I mean I know your parents are taking care of your medical bills but-“

“Don’t worry about it Leighton-“

“John, I can’t. We’re adults, I have to know about things.” I pushed, sending him a look as I cradled his face with mine. “I want to do this with you, I just need to know what’s going on.” I pouted.

He bit his lip and pulled it between my fingers, his faded tattoo inside exposed. “I’ve been saving for a while. The last tour was long and we pulled a lot in.”

“You never told me how much,” I mused, “I didn’t know how much you were sitting on.”

He leaned in and whispered the figure in my ear.

My eyes widened. “Shit?! Really?!”

He nodded with a laugh. “We didn’t want to brag.”

I covered his face in kisses. “I mean just as a cut each, that’s amazing babe.” I gasped.

“That’s why I could get such a pretty ring,” he chuckled.

I looked down at the ring around my neck. “I do love that ring.”

“One day it’ll be on your finger.” He murmured against my temple.

“I love you,” I pouted, “I’m excited about our place.”

“Good, I was hoping so,” he chuckled, pulling back. “I was thinking you could move in while I’m in rehab? I’ve already got the guys in to help.”

“Well Jac and Eric are in Europe,” I mused, pouting. “they won’t be back until the twenty-ninth. Then Austin and Hilary are at his moms’ in Santa Barbra-“

“Yeah because they got engaged babe,” he laughed.

Oh yes, that’s been the biggest news around here since John’s breakdown. Austin finally proposed to Hilary on the twentieth this month. I’ve seen the ring because they were at the last 8123, and it was huge. They were handsy all night and to be honest, I couldn’t blame them. I was happy for them- she even asked myself, Jac and Lydia to be bridesmaids, even though they hadn’t even planned the wedding.

Other news, was that Garrett and Tate took a break. She went to see her family in New York while Garrett spent his Christmas with his family here in Arizona. He was on better terms with Pat apparently, Tate telling me that he just couldn’t be bothered fighting with him.
I was upset for her but she said it was better than staying together with someone who clearly wasn’t in it anymore. They weren’t breaking up, just taking a step back in order to refresh their relationship and maybe try again. Apparently it was too early to go into counselling. The wounds were still extremely fresh.

We talked about moving and how it’d be a big job but I knew I could handle something like this even with my job. I’d finish earlier some days and focus a lot of my time into it. After all, he was agreeing to go for rehab so this was kind of like my side of the deal.

I was glad we were moving forward, instead of taking two steps back, which is what we seemed to do, a lot of the time. I’d mad a personal vow that I was going to put one hundred per cent into our relationship from this day forward, and work extra hard to support him. The realisation that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him had dawned on me, so in order to survive that, I actually had to live with him, not just ‘with’ him.

I’d learnt a lot about him these past few months- a lot of good and a lot of bad. I’m sure he learnt a lot about me too. The most important thing I found out was how selfless and passionate he was, especially towards me. He cared about me a lot and even though he failed at showing it time and time again, I knew it was there. I was lucky he was still here and I was lucky he was still fighting. I know the next few months were going to be hard, but it was important to keep focused on getting better- the both of us. I feel like we could do this- all we had to do was stick together.

I was startled by his lips on my cheeks. “Thank you Lei,” he murmured, “I love you.”

“I love you too John,” I mumbled, cupping his face. “You gotta support me too, okay?”

“Of course. You know I will bub. And I need you to do something for me too,” he murmured.

“Anything,” I nodded softly.

“Don’t give up on me.”

That, I could do.