Miserable at Best

*ding dong*

Frank Iero's once brilliant green eyes wandered towards his front door, then without even blinking he drifted back to the infomercial that he had no interest in watching. He had no reason to get off of the couch to go answer the door; he wanted nothing more than to be left alone to wallow in his self-pity.

In the past month when this exact situation would arise, the 26-year-old guitarist would jump out of bed (or the couch) and run for the door like his life depended on it. He hoped with his entire heart that it would be the love of his life on the other side of that door, coming to tell him that he realized what a big mistake he'd made and that he wanted him back.

But not anymore. Frank learned his lesson, and he learned it well, that the love of his life had made his decision and now belonged to someone else. He had chosen her; there was no way the person that was ringing his doorbell now could possibly be the man he loved with his entire heart... so what was the point of getting up anymore?

*ding dong*

Frank groaned out in annoyance as the someone that was repeatedly pressing the doorbell refused to get the hint that he simply didn't want company. His friends tried their best to be supportive, but eventually they grew tired of Frank snapping at them for no reason, even though all they were trying to do was get him to snap out of his trance and be the same, happy-go-lucky Frankie they grew to know and love. The Frankie with the perfect smile and the brilliant eyes that glimmered with hope and happiness. The Frankie that loved only one thing - or one person, rather - than anything else in the world...

That person was his soul mate, his love... his life. His name was Gerard Way.

The Frankie that his friends hoped would come back died the day Gerard left him in his hotel room that day only one month ago. It had been the worst thirty days of Frank's life, and each day without Gerard grew harder to get through than the next. Frank felt like he was hanging on by a very thin thread, and that thread seemed to be wrapping around his neck like a noose with each passing day.

He sighed deeply when he heard the doorbell ring once more, and then another. He rolled his eyes and heaved himself up from his couch, making his way slowly but ever-so-surely towards the front door.

And then the door bell rang for the fifth time, followed by a sixth, a seventh and even an eighth time, making him nearly jump out of his skin.

"What?!" Frank shouted angrily, swinging the front door open in a pissed off fashion. His angry expression soon softened when he saw his best friend standing there, the only one that still bothered to visit, like clockwork.

"Oh, Mikey. I should have known. Come in."

"Good morning to you too, Sunshine," Mikey said with a smile as he made his way inside of Frank's apartment.

Frank scowled; he hated how every time Mikey came over he was always so fucking cheerful. Frank hated anyone that was even remotely happy; He wanted everyone to be in the same mood as he had been in for the past month - lonesome, annoyed...

Miserable, at best.

Mikey was carrying on about what a gorgeous day today was shaping up to be, but his smile and good mood quickly faded when he saw that Frank was still in the same Misfits pajama bottoms and white muscle shirt from the last time he visited him just two days ago.

He took no time noticing that Frank's facial hair had grown out considerably, and that his hair was messy and greasy.

Mikey could feel his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach as his eyes tried their hardest to search Frank's for some kind of emotion, but received only nothingness in return. It was as if Frank's eyes had completely lost their shine, and were now empty and cold.

Mikey could feel the anger begin to boil up inside of him; he hated the man that did this to Frank. He hated him so much, not just for breaking Frank's heart, but for getting to be with him in the first place. He always felt that Gerard didn't deserve Frank, and deep down he knew that nothing good could come of their relationship.

He had practically predicted it, and sure enough... he was right. Mikey hated when he was right about stuff like that.

Just as he was about to give Frank the same speech about needing to move on and forget Gerard that he normally gave him, he quickly stopped himself, remembering that if he were to even mention Gerard's name Frank would freak out and completely lose it... just like the last time. And the time before that. And the time before that...

So instead, he quickly put on a smile, and hoped that today would finally be the day that Frank stopped moping around and decided to move on with his life. Mikey smiled brightly at his best friend, knowing that he had the perfect game plan for such a task.

"I um... I brought breakfast," Mikey piped up rather cheerfully, waving a cup of coffee in front of his face.

"Frank?"

Mikey's heart sank even deeper into the pit of his stomach when he once again received no answer from Frank. He hadn't even acknowledged the fact that his best friend was standing there before him, carrying a bag of Frank's favorite breakfast foods and his favorite double-tall latte from Starbucks. But this was nothing new...

Frank never noticed Mikey. Mikey was there every single time he needed him, and he promised Frank that he always would be. The truth was, Mikey was in love with Frank, and had been since the first day they met a whole six years ago. Frank never took the time to notice Mikey though, because he longed so lustfully for Mikey's brother, the lead singer from their band.

Every night on stage, Mikey gazed longingly at Frank, his eyes full of hope and love for the rhythm guitarist of his band. Frank only had eyes for Gerard, though. Night after night, Mikey would feel his heart literally break in two as he would witness his best friend, the love of his life, flirt relentlessly with his older brother. The subtle kisses, the not-so-subtle crotch rubs and almost X-rated grinding that the two did on stage was often times too much for the bassist to handle.

So while Frank and Gerard were off in the next room doing God only knows what, Mikey curled up in his bed, with his Ipod blaring in his ears to block out the sounds of pleasure coming from the above mentioned room, hoping and praying for two things.

One, for Gerard to be good to Frank. And two, since he knew that Gerard would break his heart, for Frank to be okay. So far neither of those prayers had come true, but Mikey made it his solemn vow to help Frank get back to his former self.

He wanted nothing more than for Frank to be happy again... and also for him to experience the kind of love he always deserved; the kind of love Mikey felt someone like Gerard was completely incapable of giving him.

Mikey sighed, and placed the big bag full of Frank's favorite breakfast foods and the tray of coffees down on the coffee table. He took out two large containers, one with a large stack of pancakes, french toast, sausage links and hash browns; and the other with the exact same thing, only this one had the sausage links substituted with grits. He arranged them right next to each other, and settled down in front of his own plate as he began to dig in.

"Mmm, this is good," Mikey sighed, going to town on the sausage link. He fumbled around for the remote, and switched the channel to Nickelodeon, because he knew Spongebob would be coming on within a matter of seconds. If anything could cheer Frank up, it would be Spongebob.

"You really don't know what you're missing, Frankie, come join me."

Frank snapped his head in Mikey's direction, his cold eyes piercing straight through him. Mikey couldn't help but gulp.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Mikey? Don't fucking call me 'Frankie' anymore!"

Frank's words were cruel and venomous, and within seconds the reality of the situation hit him full force. For the first time in a long time, his eyes glimmered with concern for his best friend, who looked absolutely crushed. He rushed over to Mikey, throwing his arms around the man that wanted nothing more than this moment where Frank would finally show some sign of emotion.

"I'm so sorry, Mikey... I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm so so sorry..." Frank repeated over and over in his ear, smoothing Mikey's hair with his fingers, hoping that would sooth him.

That simple gesture meant more to Mikey than he'll ever know. But still, he didn't want to let Frank get away with treating him like this anymore.

"You never mean to, Frank..."

Mikey's eyes were shut tightly to avoid his tears from falling, and clutched on to Frank as if his life depended on it, hoping this moment between him and the man he felt so strongly for would never end.

Frank lifted Mikey's chin up so he could look in his eyes, and smiled.

"I know, Mikey. I'm trying... really, I am. I promise from now on-"

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Frank tensed up when he heard the theme song of the show he once loved so dearly blare over the television speakers. The same monotone expression returned to Frank's face as he broke the hold he had on Mikey, and grabbed the remote as fast as he could and switched the television set off.

"Mikey... as I've told you a million times already..." Frank began, staring down at his best friend who had tears of sadness streaming down his face. "Spongebob... you know that was mine and... and... Fuck, I can't fucking handle this anymore!"

"I'm sorry, Frankie..." was all Mikey could say, wishing desperately for Frank to calm down. Mikey was mentally kicking himself, because he'd let the fact that Spongebob was yet another thing that wasn't allowed anymore, because Spongebob was Frank and Gerard's special thing.

Mikey was still clinging tightly to the tiny few moments where he had the old Frankie back. His tears of sadness quickly turned into tears of anger, and he decided he had enough; It was time for Frank to listen to the words that he so desperately needed to hear.

"You know what, Frank? I'm not fucking sorry. I came here today, like I do just about every day, hoping to make your day fucking better and you know what? I've dealt with the shit you've given me because of something my brother fucking did to you and you know what? I'm tired of you treating me like something you scraped off the bottom of your shoe. I am your best friend, and I deserve fucking better than that, god dammit! All I've tried to do was fucking help you, and-"

"I know that, Mikey," Frank sighed, cutting him off before he could say anything else. "I know you're just trying to help me - but you need to understand that I can't just fake a smile and pretend that this shit isn't still killing me because it is. Every fucking day without him, Mikey, is another fucking day I wish I was fucking-"

Mikey cut him off by placing his index finger over Frank's lips.

"I don't want you to fake a smile, Frankie... I miss your smile, your real smile. I miss you, I miss my best friend Frankie," Mikey whispered, staring the man that made his heart swell straight in his eyes.

And then, he lost it.

"I hate Gerard for doing this to you! I hate him so fucking much! I would give anything to make things different, Frankie... just tell me what to do and I will do it," Mikey begged Frank tearfully, throwing his arms around the shorter man and clutching him tighter than he ever had before.

Mikey's grip was so tight, Frank found that he had a hard time breathing, but eventually placed his arms around his best friend, and realized they shouldn't even be having this conversation in the first place.

"Mikey... you've done so much already, and I haven't shown the least bit of appreciation. I don't deserve anything that you've done for me, and I truly am sorry. I really am... you're my best friend, and I don't deserve you..."

Mikey smiled into Frank's neck, clinging on to his words as they wrapped around his heart.

"You deserve the world, Frank. You deserve someone who will be there for you forever, no matter what you put them through. I promise to do this for as long as it takes, okay?"

"You're the best, Mikey. Thanks..." Frank said with a smile as he kissed Mikey's temple. "Did you say something about breakfast?"

*

Even though it had grown cold, the pair ate their breakfast in a comfortable silence, nothing to be heard except for the occasional sound of their forks and knives clanking against their plates.

"That was really fucking good, Mikey. Thank you," Frank said to his friend, patting his belly which shrank a considerable amount in size due to his lack of appetite over the past month.

"Anytime, Frankie. I'm glad you enjoyed it," Mikey replied, picking their plates up as he attempted to head over to the kitchen, nearly crashing into Frank as he did so.

"No no no, Mikey! I got it, you've done more than enough," Frank said, taking the plates from him. He walked into the kitchen, leaving Mikey to follow along with a smile on his face. Frank placed the dishes in the sink and began to wash them, as Mikey hopped up on the counter next to him.

Frank began to whistle a tune Mikey had yet to recognize, but it made Mikey's smile even brighter. He laid his head back against the cabinet, and took a quick scan over the slightly messy kitchen. His smile quickly faltered when his eyes met with the invitation that hung on Frank's refrigerator.

Frank glanced quickly at Mikey, and followed his gaze to the beautiful black, gold and white piece of stationary that hung under the magnet picture of him and Gerard.

''Oh yeah... That's coming up soon, isn't it?'' Frank said, with the bravest voice he could muster.

''Yeah... Are you going?''

Frank shut the water off, and stared blankly out of the kitchen window, focusing on a beautiful red cardinal that landed on the ledge.

''Probably not... I don't know if I'm really up to celebrating Gerard's engagement... I'd feel like I wasn't welcome or something,'' Frank replied, sighing deeply.

''But... We need you there, Frank. Gerard needs you there - I need you there!'' Mikey fought back, but Frank just shook his head.

''I couldn't show my face around there, Mikey. I mean, everyone fucking knew about me and Gerard. Everyone. I couldn't dare look any of them in the eye... Especially Gerard...''

A single tear slid down Frank's face as he began to think about all the times he shared with Gerard, and all the dreams he hoped would one day become a reality. He couldn't wait for Gerards engagement party - he never dreamed it would be a celebration for Gerard and someone other than himself, though. That thought never even crossed his mind, but now its the only thing that plagued his mind, every single second of every single day.

Gerard was getting married.
And not to Frank...

Frank sighed, and swiped away his tears with his palm. He walked over to the refrigerator, and took the invitation off of its magnet. A single strip of paper fell to the floor as Frank opened it, his eyebrows furrowing together when he reached down to pick it up.

"Please send this card back by May 1st," Frank repeated out loud, as he realized what this scrap of paper was for. It was the return card for whether or not he planned to attend Gerard's engagement party or not. Underneath the text was a yes and a no, followed by a blank next to each.

''Mikey, what's today's date?'' Frank asked, turning his attention to Mikey, who was still perched atop the counter.

''Umm... April 30th? I think?''

Frank rummaged around his junk drawer for a pen, actually finding a half used stick of eyeliner and used that to draw a big 'X' in one of the spaces. He had a million different emotions wash over him as he sighed heavily, before reluctantly handing the card to Mikey.

''Here. Give this to Gerard for me,'' he said, reaching into the cupboard for a glass. As he began to pour himself some Coke, Frank heard a dramatic sigh come from behind him.

''So... You're not going to come?''

Frank shook his head, and added some Crown to the mix as well. He took a big sip, making an 'ahh' sound when he pulled the glass from his lips, and smirked.

''I guess you'll just have to wait and see...''