The Resistance

POV Gerard

I still feel very embarrassed about what had happened at the training.
The position I'm in right now is definitely not helping me.

You can't fucking blame me for accepting Ray's challenge, It's one of my weak spots. Whenever someone dares me, I always have to show them I can do it. I always wanna win. When I was little Mikey never wanted to play with me for that reason, it wasn't a game for me. The fighting games were the worse, my dad had to come pry me of Mikey before things would escalate. When it did, it wasn't a pretty sight. Mikey still has some scars and biting marks on his body.

Yeah, I must have been a pretty annoying brother but hey weren't we all? Mikey used to have his moments too although he's the best brother anyone could wish for. Since day one we had a special bond and when our mother died it only got stronger. He never blamed me for what happened that night. Without him I wouldn't be here, he saved me from my self-destruction. He's the only one I'll ever love and protect although I'm starting to doubt that's true.

Yeah, it's him again. Fun I'm-the-most-attractive-person-in-the-world Ghoul.

it's pretty obvious by now that I have some sort of attraction towards the boy so having him as a price isn't making it any easier. I don't want any one to know about that but I still had to fucking agree...

***

The only sound comes from my moving feet on the dry ground when I strode off towards the dummy. I might have a smirk on my face but on the inside I’m dying. My palms are sweating and my heart is pounding from the adrenaline running true my veins.

I try to calm myself by focusing on the little night breeze that blows in my face. It helps a bit and also makes me realize what a freaking coward I am. This is where I’m good at, isn’t it? Then why the hell am I so scared?

I take a glance at Ghoul which automatically turns into a full stare. Damn that boy has pretty eyes. If I had to describe them in one word it would be: Jempcrod. Oh I’m fully aware that’s a non-existing word and that I just made it up but I’m also aware that’s the only way to describe them. You can’t, you simply can’t. What about perfect? Yeah well perfect would be an understatement, it's much more than that.

Our eyes stay locked for a short while before I break the contact because I don't want to look too interested. Hey! I've already admitted my little crush to you, he doesn’t need to know as well.

While I continue walking to the target my mind wonders back to his expression. I could see lots in just the one little eye contact. Firstly, I saw utter shock which I don't blame him for. I was pretty startled to when I heard the words leave Ray's mouth. Secondly, I saw some sort of... joy? No, more like he's enjoying this? He's extremely interested in how the situation is going to turn out. Wait, does he wants me to win this bet? Well if he wants me to win this, let's not disappoint him shall we.

Ray follows me while swinging his gun over his shoulder in a very convinced way. Does he really think he can win from me? Ha we'll see about that! I can kill four dracs in one shoot. Don't believe me? I'll fucking show you. Well maybe he wants me to win? If he does for what reason? All my other opponents feared me just from seeing my radiation. Oh and here he was, lightly smirking to himself. An other option is that he wants to loose so I can have Ghoul. but why would he do something like that? I didn't even think they were friends. Well either way, I want Ghoul very badly and nothing gonna stop me from getting him.

Aaargh!
All these question, barely any answers.
So many feelings, no actions.
I just want it to stop!

When both of us reach the target, I bow.

'Ladies first.'

I can hear a muted giggle leave Ghoul's mouth which makes the corners of my mouth turn a little upwards. Ray however ignores my mocking tone and get's in the right shooting position. With a last breath he points his gun towards the target. His concentration makes me even more confused. Maybe he really does think he can win from me. I didn't even know he liked guys. I saw him flirting with almost every girl from the advanced students. I can't imagine a more hetero person then him. But hey, I'm the last person who would care about something like that, if it wasn't about Ghoul.

Just thinking about him and Ray going on a date together makes my blood boil. He's my little price, Ray can't have him. He's mine.

Nobody dares to move so we wait for the abrupt noise that will fill our ears once Ray pulls the trigger. That noise makes my hairs stand straight and my pupils wider. That's when I'm home, the place where I belong. I can do this, this is my game.

Right in that moment I look at my price who's doing the exact same thing. Why can't I control my stares when he's around? Well neither does he, I guess. It's like a spell, it starts with a little glance and ends with not being able to control my drool. What is he doing to me? I don't like this feeling, not being able to function when Ghoul's close.

His arms are crossed and his hair covers most of his face creating this very protective aura around him. I know he is a broken boy and I feel really bad I can't cure him. Seeing him in such a state makes me sick. What happened to him? How did he get this way?

His hair gets blown out of his eyes by a small breeze. I feel myself trembling from his beauty.

BANG.

Even I discolor when the bullet leaves Jet's gun, didn't see that one coming. Ghoul however had it worse than me. He jumps and shrieks when the loud noise erupts the air. I feel a laugh escaping my lips from the sight and immediately claps a hand in front of my mouth. I didn't laugh because I thought it was pathetic, I laughed because it was freaking cute. Ghoul's eyes go from Ray to me a few times, the poor boy looks so startled. Realization slowly sinks in when he sees my smirk I light blush covers his cheeks.

***

Jet's shot was pretty good. Right below the shoulder a few centimeters from the heart. If that was me I would smack my head against the wall but Ray seemed pretty impressed. yeah okay, it's not bad for a first year advanced. You can see Ray's a shooter.

Every Killjoy has a specialty: shooters, defenders, fighters, bomb throwers...
I'm okay at defense and fighting but give me a raygun and I'm in heaven. Ray's a shooter, just like me.

Without any hesitation I take Ray's place in front of the target, I stomp my feet on the ground trying to find the perfect position. I could get the shot while hanging out of a car, it's just nice to take your time. Patience = result.

I straighten my neck and breath in the thick air. While reaching towards my gun I see Ray kissing Ghoul's cheek, the bastard. He's trying to make me jealous and it's working. I need to win this bet, no correction: I'm going to win this bet.

My gloved hand makes contact with the cold metal of my yellow weapon and I feel myself relax. Slowly but sternly I aim at the dummy closing my right eye. My finger lingers at the trigger, my longs get filled with air and my mind empties. On this moment I feel so close to the world and it's nature.

This one's for you dad, you homophobic prick.

My shoulder moves back when I pull the trigger. A white beam leaves my gun and collides to the target. It's silent for a moment. I take the gun to my mouth and blow the smoke away. Both students gasp at my result.

Right in the heart.

It's a nice shot, if I say so myself maybe a little higher...

I casually walk over to ghoul and hold my gun to his neck. He moves his head back giving me all access to his exposed skin. A small gasp leaves his lips when I pull his hair. His eyelids flutter and his breathing gets more erratic. I lean closer so our lips touch lightly, he tries to close the gap but fails when I pull harder on his hair.

Before he can react to my touch I whisper:

'Tomorrow. 8 o'clock. Outside the base. Don't be late.'

With every sentence I pull a bit harder, earning soft little groans from Ghoul. With my last will power, I let him go and turn around leaving both Ray and Ghoul alone at the target. I keep walking, not daring to look back. When I'm almost at the porch I let out a large sigh.

I need a fucking cigarette.