The Cliff Overlooking the Ocean

The waves crashed around the grey rocks that were mounted a few hundred feet below the cliff’s edge. The sky was covered in rain clouds that threatened to release any second. The wind picked up, blowing a sheet of mist around the lone man’s trembling frame. He sat at the edge of the cliff, feet dangling down.
The white laces contracted with the red fabric of his shoes. Holes adorned the edges around the rubber, the Converse logo worn away from years of abuse on stage. He looked out to the horizon, dreaming of a day where he could finally be free.
Gerard thought of the last twelve years or so as he pushed his greying hair away from his face. He reflected back as memories bombarded his mind.
He was naïve in his twenties. He was in love with the man of his dreams, but that’s what it turned into, a dream. It was nothing but a dream, a longing for the love that left him for a woman. Jamia had been Frank’s high school sweetheart, destined to be with each other from the beginning. She saw the rise and fall of his and Frank’s love, burying it beneath herself.
He was left heartbroken, seeing the man he was in love with every day. He settled for a woman he claimed to love, and love her he did. He still loved her even though he knew that when he was away on tour or when she was traveling with her band, she spent the nights in the arms of another man while he stayed alone and faithful.
He knew that the child he was raising with Lindsey wasn’t his own flesh and blood. If asked about it however, he would swear to the heavens and the earth and the gods above that she was his. Despite all of his swearing, it didn’t erase the fact that she looked nothing like him.
He quit his job six months ago. His wife was happy that he would be home more often, but he wasn’t. He missed his band mates, the people he saw, the experiences he had, so he buried himself in his work and in comforting those around him.
That was what brought him to the cliff. It had been his favorite place to come with his past love, Frank, when they were in California. He chose this day, September 3, the day that he officially hid away the love he had for Frank by marrying Lindsey, six years ago. She was at work, and Bandit was at school. He continued looking out at the water, dreaming of leaving it all behind. He wanted no more pain, loss, heartbreak, or haunting memories.
He stripped off his leather jacket, laying it beside him on the grass. He was left sitting by the ocean in his Converse, a Green Day t-shirt, and faded blue jeans. He traded out his skinny jeans for loose jeans six months ago, but he kept his t-shirt style relatively the same. He pushed his hair away from his face again as the wind picked up.
“Every year. You contemplate jumping every year,” he heard a familiar voice say from behind him.
“And every year, you come without Jamia knowing so you can talk me out of it.” His heart sped up as he heard Frank walk closer.
“There’s so much to live for Gee. You’ve come so far, you’re half way there.” His lost love put a hand on his shoulder, and Gerard prayed that Frank would see his pain and just push him off to the rocks below.
“She’s been cheating on me since around the time we got married, Frank. The kid I’ve raised isn’t even mine, the band is done, I have nothing”
“You have me, Gerard!”
“No! I lost you six years ago!”
“You never lost me! I was still there for you! I pulled out of your pit of depression and addiction and desperation when Lindsey deemed you too far gone! We may not be together anymore, and we may never be again, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t and that I don’t love you like I did all those years ago!”
“Just let me go. Let me end all the sorrow that has built up within me and my life over the years.”
“I can’t let you destroy yourself, Gerard! What kind of person would I be? A murderer!”
“You’d be a friend, Frank! You’re only putting off the inevitable!” The man he loved sat down beside him. He wrapped his arm around Frank’s shoulders, remembering when he belonged to him and nobody else.
“Give me a kiss before you go,” he said in a hushed voice. Gerard never thought they’d kiss again. He had dreamt of it a thousand times, but he knew he wasn’t dreaming now.
He turned to the man beside him. Age had barely affected Frank. His hair stayed the same shade of brown. His facial hair stayed cut short or nonexistent, the skin wrinkle free. He brought his hands up to Frank’s face, feeling the soft flesh as he leaned in and placed a kiss on the man’s lips. They moved together as one for a few moments before they separated. A smile graced their lips before Frank stood up.
“Tell them you came here to meet me,” Gerard said. “Tell them that you found my jacket and wedding ring on the ground. Tell them you looked over and saw my body at the bottom of the cliff on the rocks. Know that I never stopped loving you.” Frank nodded his head and backed away from Gerard. Gerard faced out towards the water, looking out to the ocean’s horizon. A smile graced his lips yet again as he stood up not daring to turn back to the man that he was leaving.
He thought back to the first time they had met at the Eyeball house. Frank was always so energetic while Gerard was calm and quiet and kept to himself. Two complete opposites, but somehow they managed to fall in love.
“I love you,” he said loud enough for Frank to hear, before plummeting forward of the cliff to the grey rocks mounted below. As he fell, the rain clouds released themselves, rain falling with him. That was the end.
He always loved the man he left, but love cannot conquer the calling of death. However, it can survive through life trials and the need to die.