Still Strung out on You

I was hoping now that we are talking and trying to make this work as just friends that maybe we could hang out together a bit more. You know, outside of school, in school, whatever you name it. I was actually looking forward to this day of school that I actually leaped up out of bed when my alarm went off at six thirty am. I told myself, I had to make sure I looked absolutely pristine if I was to try and impress Alex still. I don't want him to see me today and for him to decide that he wants norhing to do with me. I don't think I could let that happen again.

So, up I got. I went over to my wardrobe and actually found out some nice CLEAN clothes. I got my mom to iron them for me. When I asked her to iron them, the look on her face was priceless.
"So, trying to impress Alex again now you two are hopefully talking again?"
"Yes! Of course, why wouldn't I?"
"Just... Be careful don't push him too far honey."
"I'm not going to mom." I sighed.

I didn't need telling. I already know not to push him too far. That would just be stupid and ruin everything that we're trying to get back. I can't bare to lose him again. Not when I've just got him back into my life. I can't live without him. Okay, that's an over exaggeration but as Derek from mayday patade sings, "I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best."

My mom had finished ironing my clothes, so I took them off her, shout "THANKS!" before bolting off upstairs. I got showered and dressed in record time. I spent a good thirty minutes styling my hair so it looked absolutely perfect. At least, I thought it looked absolutely perfect.

I ran back downstairs once I had finished and had a huge breakfast. The breakfast I had made consisted of; Scrambled egg, Bacon, Tomatoes, Sausages, Toast, and it was all topped off with grates cheese because, well, who can resist cheese?! I don't quite understand why I was rushing this morning. I mean, I have another two hours before I have to go in to school.. However, when I had finished making and eating my fodd, there was half an hour left before school started. It didn't matter that I hadn't set off yet though, because it's only a ten minute walk from my house.

Eventually, I told my mom that I was leaving school. Taking a deep breath as I opened the door, because who knows what today will bring. I mean, yesterday could have just been a dream. It was too good to be true, if I say so myself. But I'm super excited to get to school, since my first lesson is English, and Alex is in this class.

I love it when Alex is in this class. He is so passionate about it. He likes learning these new big words so that he could put it in his lyrics. Things such as "trajectory" and "mausoleum". I mean, what do these words even mean? Literally, you could ask Alex what a word meant and he'd know straight away.

I got to school just as the bell went so I headed to my locker to quickly get my English folder out and shove the rest of my folders in before making my way to class.
I was the fourth person to walk in which put Mr Cliffe into shock.

"Jack? Jack Barakat? On time? For the first time this semester? I think I need a drink."
"Yep. Mr Jack Barakat, here on time for the first and probably the last time this semester."

I headed to the back of the classroom to take my seat. The class soon started filling up and there was no sign of Alex. The only reason why I'm here early and he's not even here yet.

The lesson dragged, and there was no sign of Alex. I thought maybe he was just late. But as the day progressed, there was still no sign of Alex. What did I do? Why is he avoiding me? Is it because he has had time to think about what he said and realised I'm not worth it.

It was home time, so I walked home. On my own. There wasn't so much as a glimpse of Alex today. When I arrived home, I slammed the door shut, ran upstairs, chucked my bag on the floor, flung myself on my bed and screamed. The scream wasn't that loud, as it was muffled by the pillow.

I heard my mom come in.
"Get out!"
"Jack, what's wrong?"
"I made all that effort today for absolutely NOTHING. Just get out!"
"Alex wasn't at school today."
"Obviously not!"
"Do you know why Alex wasn't at school today?"
"Because he's had time to think about everything last night and decided I'm not worth it, so now he's avoiding me."
"Oh, Jack. Your mind comes up with some rather irrational things. Alex is ill. Isobel phoned up, but you'd already gone to school. Alex said he was sorry and he wants you to go up to see him after you've had something to eat."
"I-Uh-Oh."

I buried my head in shame that I would even think Alex would try to avoid me. He's not like that. He's just ill. And he wants me to go over, so therefore my effort hasn't gone completely to waste.