Never Fall For You

-Kat-

Yes, I was ignoring Jason. Well actually, I was all-out avoiding him. I don’t know, maybe it seems childish, in retrospect. But I still wasn’t sure about my feelings for him.

Oh listen to me. Just a few months ago I could proudly state that the only ‘feelings’ I had for Jason Hughes were the ones that absolutely loathed him. Now I was entraining thoughts that I may be completely in love with him. I mean, why else would I have gotten light-headed and tingly when he kissed me?

So I avoided him. The rest of the school year, I dodged corners, and ran from class to class to make sure there was no way of running into him. Because I wasn’t sure. And I didn’t want to hurt him if it turned out that I was wrong about my feelings.

Plus, a very small part of me didn’t want to admit that I was starting to fall for the one person I had hated for the better part of my life.

I think, towards the end of the year, Jason was finally starting to take the hint, though. Tyler, however, was persistent as all hell. And if there was one thing that I had figured out in all of this, it was that I definitely did not have feelings for Tyler.

Sure, it was nice, to begin with, to have someone trying to win me over, and being nice to me all the time. But, I think with everything that happened with Aaron, I had become more calloused, and hard-hearted. If that’s even possible.

Not to mention, the feeling I got when Jason kissed was completely different than when Tyler kissed me.

It was a beautiful spring day, that made even Monday seem less terrible, when Tyler came strutting up to me, grinning like he’d just one the lottery. It was the last Monday of the school year, and I was cleaning out my locker - as I did every year. I didn’t even acknowledge him when he walked up. Just kept my eyes forward, focusing on my locker.

“Hey, beautiful” he said, leaning against the locker next to mine.

I grunted in response, though, as usual, he took that as no hint.

“Well, listen” he continued, and I sighed, rolling my eyes. “I was wondering if you wanted to go out and do something this Friday.”

I glanced up at him. He was still flashing that damn smile at me. I sighed again, then straightened up, running my hand through my long hair.

“Tyler, listen” I began, and he focused all his attention on me. “You’re a sweet guy, and all. But… you’re just not my type.”

Normally, I wouldn’t have been this blunt, but I literally knew no other way of conveying the message to him. He didn’t take hints, or beating around the bush.

I saw his jaw visibly flex has he clenched his teeth, and I was waiting for some kind of horribly mean retaliation. However, he let out a dramatic sigh, and said “That’s a shame” before stalking off.

I let out the breath I didn’t even know I’d been holding, then continued to clean out my locker.

Lydia got home a little while later, and as soon as we got inside Mom shooed us upstairs.

“Go freshen up, girls!” she said, as I dropped my book bag by the door. “Ginny and Robert are coming over! And I don’t want to hear any excuses as to why you can’t be here.” She pointed at me specifically, and I rolled my eyes.

I’d done a damn good job of weaseling my way out of past family dinners with the Hughes. Then again, I’d had more time to come up with a believable alibi. Which I guessed was Mom’s whole purpose of not telling us until the last minute this time. She’d been bugging me about missing the dinners, and now I had no time to come up with a reason as to why I couldn’t make it. I mean, I was already home.

I stood in my bedroom for a long time. I wondered if I should change, and make myself more presentable, because the oversized hoodie and loose shorts I’d been wearing all day was definitely not flattering. I stood in front of my mirror, telling myself repeatedly not to worry about it - I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I stood there so long, that Lydia finally knocked on my door, claiming that the company arrived, and Mom needed my help in the kitchen.

“I’ll be right there!” I promised, then sighed. I pulled my sweatshirt off, revealing my black tank top. Then I switched my shorts for a pair of white shorts that made my butt look fabulous, and slid my flip flops on. I pulled my hair out of it’s messy bun, and let the loose waves hang down my back. I smiled in the mirror. At least I looked a little better.

When I got downstairs, Dad and Robert were sitting in the living room watching the sports channel. What sport they were watching, I couldn’t tell you; I couldn’t tell basketball from football. As I came around the corner, and headed into the kitchen, I noticed Tyler was seated next to Robert on the couch. He looked up at me as I passed, and his eyes flickered a little with anger, but I didn’t acknowledge it. Jason was seated in Dad’s recliner in the corner of the room. He and I made eye contact, but I quickly looked away when I felt my cheeks burn red.

“Oh good, you’re here” Mom said, when I entered the kitchen. “I just sent your sister out with a plate of food, and Ginny and I are going to carry the last couple of things if you’ll take this.” She shoved a plate full of hamburgers into my hands, and I nodded, then headed out of the kitchen, back through the living room, and towards the back deck.

Once everything was set up, everyone was called to dinner.

It was an awkward dinner, for me at least. Ginny and Robert were talking loudly with my parents, but the rest of us were eating our dinners silently. And poor Lydia could feel the tension between us all, but she had no idea what was going on. So she finished eating quickly, then excused herself, claiming that she had homework to do.

I knew it was a lie. No one has homework during the last week of school.

Once dinner was over, everyone headed back inside to finish watching whatever game had been playing. So I started cleaning up. I welcomed the quiet time. The sun had just started to set, and the chill of the night was slowly starting to mix with the heat of the afternoon.

“Need some help?”

I looked up to see Jason standing in the doorway. I could feel butterflies swirling around in my stomach as I looked up at him. The breeze was blowing, making his black v-neck shirt flutter against his perfect body, and his dark hair was sticking out a little as he ran his hand through it.

“Sure” I said softly, tearing my eyes away from him. Another feeling had started coming over me, the more I stared at him. It was like I was really seeing him for the first time, and I suddenly longed to run over to him, wrap my arms around his body, and kiss him.

He walked over to the table, and began stacking plates and glasses. His hand brushed against mine a couple of times, and it sent my heart into overdrive.

“Kat.”

I snapped out of my thoughts, and looked into Jason’s eyes. There was something different about them. They didn’t have their usual smug sparkle. It had been replaced with… hurt? Yes, that was exactly it. He looked hurt as he stared down at me, and I felt my chest tighten as I thought about the fact that it was probably due to me.

“Kat, I wanted to apologize for what happened. You know, after Aaron’s funeral” he said, looking away from me. “It was completely stupid of me, and I hope we can still be friends.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and took a deep breath.

“Mom sent me out to here to help you guys clean up, because it’s taking you forever.”

Thank you, Lydia, with your ever impeccable timing. Thank you. So. Fucking. Much.

Jason and I both cleared our throats, then straightened up, and continued getting things together. Once the table was clear, I waited for the opportune moment to continue that conversation with Jason. But that moment never came, because once we all got back inside, Dad called Jason into the living room to talk about sports - a conversation which he could keeping going for days. But, I guess I deserved that. I’d spent so much time avoiding Jason throughout school, karma was finally getting me back. I didn’t even get a chance to say anything to him when he and his family were leaving for the night.

So there I sat, on my bed, alone, after everything had settled down, and all the dishes were done. I leaned my head against my wall, with one thing in mind.

So I reached over to my nightstand, grabbed my cell phone, and dialed an all-too familiar number.

It rang twice before a high pitched, happy voice said “Hey lovely lady!”

“Hey, Phee” I said.

“What’s wrong?”

She knew me too well.

I sighed heavily, before blurting out “Phee… I’m in love with Jason.”