This is the End of Everything

I sat up, my breath was heavy. Daryl was laying next to me and he woke up from me moving. I hadn't realized he was in bed with me. I shook my head and stood up, I needed to get some water. I sat on the bed and tried not to think of my dream. I felt Daryl sit up and move closer to me. His arm dropped by my waist. I looked over at him, his eyes held a look of concern.

"Ya ok?" he asked, I could tell he was drunker than when he left the room, he must of just come in a little while ago.

"You know, for becoming a pharmacist I read all about the effects of cocaine, the withdraw from it, what to expect, all that bullshit. But let me tell you, experiencing it is way worse than reading about it. I need more Daryl, I can't do this, my head is throbbing, I can't sleep. And obviously now the nightmares are starting, it's bad enough I get insomnia, but nightmares?! I can't do it, and it's only been a few days" I said feeling like I wanted to cry.

"Ya can do it, I know ya can. You just gotta make it a little while longer. That's all" Daryl said hugging my waist.

"It's been FOUR DAYS. I'm not going to last through this week, let alone, the next step it to get really irritable" I said already getting irritated.

"Jus lay down and go back to bed" Daryl said pulling me towards him. He hugged me close to his body.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I thought about how much I rarely ate. Half the time when we would eat dinner at the camp I would just sit there next to everyone and hardly eat. Or just poke around at the food I had to make it look like I ate. I'm not even hungry now. I wrapped my arms around Daryl, his muscular arms made me feel even safer. I tried to get my mind at ease so I could sleep. Maybe I would just need to count sheep. I've made up my mind, I'm just going to go insane. I finally fell asleep. I woke up to Daryl pushing hair out of my face. I looked at him and he kissed my forehead.

"I was having a good dream, which may be my last for a while you ass" I said smiling at the end.

"Well I'm sorry. 'Sides, we needa go an eat somethin" Daryl said stretching.

"Not hungry I'll pass" I said burying my face in the pillow.

"Whatda ya mean not hungry?! I hardly ever see ya eat. Ya must get hungry sometime" Daryl said sounding shocked.

"Drugs remember?" I said lifting my head a little.

"Yer gonna come and eat whether ya like it or not" Daryl said getting out of bed.

"How about you go and eat, and I'll stay here and try to sleep some more" I said, I could feel a mood swing coming on. "And you might want to leave now because I'm about to have a mood swing" I said with a smile.

"I don't give a shit. Let's go eat. Now" Daryl said getting irritated that I wouldn't get up.

I gave him the finger and pulled the covers over my head. I felt the covers get pulled off, so I pulled a pillow over my head. I felt that get pulled off too.

"I ain't kiddin Katie. Get yer ass up and go eat." Daryl said sounding mad.

"I ain't kiddin either Daryl. GO AWAY" I said throwing the other pillow at him.

"Yer not starving yourself, and I ain't leavin til you get up and come eat some damn food" Daryl said, his voice was getting louder.

"Then prepare to starve because I'M NOT GOING" I said making sure I put an emphasis on the last part.

Daryl pulled me to the edge of the bed and picked me up. I looked at him like he had lost his head. Daryl started to walk over to the door. I guess I was being forced to go and eat. Why couldn't he just leave me there. Only then had I realized I was just wearing a shirt and no pants. I looked at him, he was determined to get me out there and to get me to eat.

"Ok, ok, ok, I'll go, can I at least put some pants on first?" I asked hoping he would stop.

"Fine, but hurry up cause I'm hungry" Daryl said waiting by the door.

I grabbed my pants and pulled them on. We walked to the kitchen area and sat down. Everyone looked hung over. T-Dog brought out some eggs for us. I stared at my plate for what seemed like forever, that is until I noticed Daryl staring daggers at me. I sighed and took a bite, they weren't bad. I took a few more bites and set my fork down and drank some water. I noticed Daryl still glaring at me. I was getting frustrated with the looks he kept giving me. wasn't four bites enough? I knew I could last all day on that. I caved and ate more. My stomach did appreciate how normal I was eating for once. I wonder if this is what anorexic girls felt like when they were forced to eat. I finished the plate and felt sick. I noticed everyone was talking to Jenner, I was too focused on trying to get my stomach to fit more than four bites of food. Jenner led us all into a room where we watched how the virus affected our brains. I really didn't care for that right now, all I could think about was the craving and need to feel somewhat normal..at least normal for myself. I noticed while I was thinking I was digging my nails into my hands. Great I have a feeling that's going to be my go to habit when thinking about how I felt. I walked away and sat in my room, I looked down, I didn't know how long I could last. I needed to make sure my supply of cigarettes lasted me. Speaking of which I could really use one, but I had left them in the car. That is until my train of thought got off by the lights and air tuning off. I poked my head out, Lori was following Jenner. This couldn't be good.

We followed him to the room where we had watched how the virus affected our brains. Just as I was about to say something I heard an alarm going off. Rick told us all that we needed to go. Jenner was typing in a code to a small key pad, I ran over to the door but it shut before I could get to it. Everyone began to freak out. I slid down next to the wall and thought about everything. It couldn't end this way. I didn't want to die this way. I hadn't even made it through my addiction yet. While everyone was busy yelling and trying to get out, all I could do was think back on everything. I wish I had done everything so differently. I looked over to Daryl. I did love him back. He was the best thing that had happened to me all my life. He was still holding an axe to the door, Jenner opened up the door Daryl was the first one out. I got up to follow when I noticed Jenner whispering something to Rick, I didn't have the time to keep watching, I just knew I had to get out. We made it out to the front entrance. All of the guys were trying to break the glass. Shane short at the windows, nothing was working. Carol stepped over looking through her bag.

"I found this in your clothes" She said handing over a grenade.

Rick took it and threw it at the glass, finally something worked! We ran out and took cover, since we knew the building was going to blow. I saw dale and Andrea run out, they made it just in time. Getting in the cars a riding back to the highway was silent. No one said anything, which was nice on my part because I don't think I was up for talking. I just stared out the window. Even when we stopped at the highway I didn't want to get up.

I need to find something to take my mind off of how I'm feeling, because I don't think Daryl will be available 24/7.