Can You Chase Away the Darkness ?

I pulled away from him. “Uh, I’m sorry” He stuttered. I stood up quickly, “No, its fine….I just…I…” I stumbled over my words, not even sure of what I was trying to say. Why had I even pulled away, that was what I had been wanting all this time… I cleared my throat, pacing the room. “I’m sorry Vic, it wasn’t your fault. I just, I don’t know, I’m not ready. I want to be, I really do, I just…can’t. I can’t right now.” I flopped onto my bed, sighing. I was the biggest bumbling idiot, how did Vic even put up with me ? He flopped onto the bed next to me, just as dramatically. We didn’t say much after that, we just kind of moved on. Days went by and things went on as usual, with no mention of crushes or kissing brought up. Sometimes it was like the elephant in the room, but still we both ignored it. I wondered if he ever thought about it, because I did. I wished that I could take it back, because we could be a couple by now….but what’s meant to be will be.

About a month later, two months after I’d moved to Baltimore, Vic and I were still going strong with our ‘best-friendship,’ and nothing more. We were hanging out on a Saturday, about to go horseback riding. It was a nice day out, around sixty degrees and perfect riding weather. He had never ridden a horse, and I had promised him a while back that we would do it together. We pulled up to the stable, and he hopped out like an excited kid. I had to admit he looked adorable, but funny because of his tight skinny jeans and Vans. Good luck riding in those…

I introduced Vic to his horse, tricky, laughing as he hugged his horse and cuddled with it like he was a young girl. I helped him tack up his horse, and then bridled up my own. I lead both our horses out into the fenced in field, with Vic trailing behind in awe. I showed him how to mount, and he ungracefully followed my instruction. He pouted when I laughed at him as he struggled to control his horse….at a walk.

It was such an amazing day- the sun shining, the wind was blowing the field grass, and I was with my best friend. I was comfortable in my softest, favorite pair of faded jeans, and I was riding my horse bareback. I was having a great time cantering circles around Vic when he accidently kicked his horse, signaling it to go faster. Soon he was cantering too, and he didn’t know how to stop his horse or ride the canter. Let’s just say cantering is not too fun with your ass slamming down on the horse every step of the way.

I sped my own horse up and came up beside Vic, trying to instruct him to pull back on the reins. I leaned forward, pulling back on my own reins while simultaneously trying to grab Vic’s. His hose kicked at mine, and the animal underneath me jerked to a stop, bucking at the same time. Time went by in horrid slow-motion as I flew over the front of my horse, straight into the fence in front of me.

Vic’s POV

It had been two months since I’d first met Carson, and I was hopelessly infatuated with her. We were so close it was insane, and she really meant a lot to me. I felt bad for the times I’d tried to kiss her and made her uncomfortable, but I really couldn’t help myself. Now it had been about a month since we’d last kissed and I was dying inside. She had said she wasn’t ready, and I knew why, but it still sucked. But I had told her I would wait for her, and I meant it. At least she was my best friend, that was the next best thing. It was different to have a girl best friend after all the years of just me and the guys, but different in a good way. She would do things with me that they wouldn’t, like today- she was finally gonna take me horseback riding.

We arrived at the stable, and I practically jumped out of the car. I was really excited, I had never been close to a horse before, and now I was about to ride one ! Carson lead me through the stable, to a black horse named Tricky. She put on its saddle and bridle for me, then did the same to her big brown horse. She seemed like she really knew what she was doing, she looked like a pro. Actually, she looked…really cute. She was wearing a racer-back tanktop and faded out jeans with black combat boots, her hair loose around her bare shoulders. I toe my eyes away from her and instead busied myself with basically cuddling my horse.

What am I, a ten-year old girl ?

I followed behind Carson as she lead our horses out into the big field we would be riding in. She mounted her horse looking graceful, and I mounted mine looking…stupid. She started off faster than me to begin with, her movements smooth and controlled, even without a saddle. I could barely moved my own horse at a walk…my hips were just not meant to move like that. I watched as Carson showed off, her smile ear-to-ear as she cantered through the field. I was too busy watching her that I accidently kicked Tricky, signaling her to go faster. Now I was going the same pace as Carson, which was not a good thing. She came to my rescue, pulling up beside me in no time, reaching for my reins. Tricky glared at her horse and kicked it in the leg, causing multiple reactions. The other horse lunged to a stop while simultaneously bucking. Its rider did not stop however, she kept going- up and over the horses head, and straight into the harsh wooden fence, head first.

I could only watch in horror as her helmet hit first, cracking and falling off as the strap broke. Her body flew over the fence, hitting the ground with a sickening thud. I tugged my horse as hard as I could finally able to stop. I jumped off and ran to my best friend, who was lying limp and bleeding in the grass.

“Because you never think the last time is the last time, you think there’ll be more. You think you have forever but you don’t.” ~ Grey’s Anatomy