Can You Chase Away the Darkness ?

Carson's POV

I pulled my black knit beanie tighter around my blonde curls, my charcoal eyes flickering around nervously. I shivered against the wind, picking up my pace. I knew I was lost, but refused to admit it to myself. “This isn’t happening.” I assured myself, trying desperately to stay calm. I had had trouble with anxiety in the past, but I was not going to make a fool of myself in this new city, this was my fresh start. I had moved to Baltimore from a city outside Detroit, for a fresh start. Okay, so maybe it was for my parent’s jobs, but also for a fresh start. I would be turning seventeen in one week, and I couldn’t wait to put my past behind me.

Let me clarify what I mean by “past”- I dated a boy named Jacob for three months, and we had a good thing going. After our three month anniversary though, he began to become….violent. I was stuck in an abusive relationship for four more months, until I finally landed in the hospital and the truth was revealed. He was arrested for multiple accounts of assault and battery, and that’s the last I’ve heard of him. A few weeks after the incident, my parents got this new job offering and took it. They were both successful, workaholic lawyers who frequently went on business trips and worked long hours. They decided this was the perfect opportunity for a new beginning, and now here I was.
I was going to re-invent myself, throw away that anxiety ridden, weak, helpless little sixteen year old. So far it was not working out, because I had just went up to the corner store and had somehow managed to get lost. I pulled my pepper spray from my bag, just in case.

The November air swirled around me, kicking up the remnants of dry leaves still hovering around curbs and street-corners. I noticed a boy who looked about my age across the street, a beanie on his head as well. I watched him curiously, unable to see his face since he was too far ahead of me. He looked to be kind of short, and thin, with shoulder length hair. He definitely has the potential to be cute, I thought, absent-mindedly staring at his butt. I recognized my surroundings a little now, and I crossed the street, still looking after the boy. The screeching of tires broke my reverie, and I jumped back and out of the way of the car, my hands on my collarbone from fright. “Watch out, bitch !” The driver of the car spat, glaring out the window at me as he sped off. I glanced up nervously; now I had the boy’s attention. He had turned around and was walking toward me, his hand out in a “no harm” manner. “You okay ?” He asked when he got close enough. His face was just…wow. Long light brown hair wisping out of a beanie, pale pink lips over a white smile, a silver nose ring, caramel skin and kind brown eyes… I suddenly remembered he had asked a question, “Yeah, thanks. I’m new here, I guess I just didn’t see him. I’m kind of lost…” I confessed. I felt confident about the sound of my voice, it hadn’t shook or cracked at all, shocking me given my history and the hotness of this boy. “Oh, I think I’ve heard a little about you,” he smiled at me. My cheeks burned, what if somehow my story had gotten out ? “Only good things !” He assured me. “What street do you live on ? I’ll help you find it.” “Sycamore.” I told him, smiling back.

We walked in a comfortable silence, the sound of rustling leaves filling the air. He asked me a couple questions, nothing too serious, just light conversation. I told him how I would be attending Valley High the next day, and he informed me that he went there too. I felt a little better; at least I knew one person there. He was seventeen, and he lived the next street over from mine, on Birch. I guess all the streets in this part of town were named after trees.

He walked me right to my house, and I thanked him gratefully. I hoped that him and I would grow to be friends, because I legitimately liked him. “See you tomorrow ?” I called hopefully. He nodded, “You walk to school ?” This time I was the one to nod, and he said “Great ! Meet me tomorrow morning at…say 7:15 ? On the corner in-between both of our streets, okay ?” I smiled, calling back “Sounds good !” I opened the door to my empty house, pulling out my purchase from the corner store- cigarettes. I normally didn’t smoke, but I thought it went with the new me. The new me, who happened to meet a cute boy her first full day here, and talk to him, get him to walk her home, AND not make a fool of herself. I nodded, impressed with myself.

I went to my room to unpack the inevitable moving boxes that cluttered it. I had big plans for this room- paint it a bright teal color, then get all black accents. The only thing in my room currently was a large four poster bed and a desk, apart from the boxes of course. I had been too tired to unpack one single thing besides necessities the night before, and now I would have to make up for it. I started with my clothes and makeup and things I would need for school, before moving on to décor. Pretty soon, my room looked lived in, and my pictures and posters were hung up along with some lights around the huge picture window that faced the street. My room was on the second story, with an adjoining bathroom and one single window on the front of the house. It was much better than my previous room, and I was looking forward to making my new self comfortable here.

A cigarette and a cup of tea later, and my things were all ready for tomorrow, and I was tucked safely into bed. I couldn’t sleep, but it wasn’t really from nervousness or excitement…I couldn’t get the new boy’s face out of my head.
“Every ending is also a beginning.”