Lumen

4. Mumps, Moans and a Pencil.

Dear Miss Hogg,
I think I would rather shove hot needles into my eyes than go to your stupid survey. Ever yours,
Helena Irving

Dear Miss Hogg,
Are you in fact a sadistic pig who enjoys making teenagers spend their free time talking about school to people who probably couldn’t care less?
Helena Irving
P.S. Naeb’dy voted for you!

Dear Ms Hogg,
I am writing in reply to your letter, dated 15th November, concerning the Student Survey on 3rd December. It would be a delight to attend. I hope to hear from you soon about the details for this event.

Yours Sincerely,
Helena Irving

“Mum, do I really have to go to this thing? I’ll be there all day talking to government people,” I moaned, putting my reply into an envelope.

Mum laughed softly, her clear blue eyes creasing at the corners. “You’ll be being helpful. Think of it as for the Greater Good.”

I shuddered, I hated that expression. There was something about it gave me the heebie-jeebies.

“They’ll be stuffy though.” My words were barely recognisable through the mouthful of envelope. The foul taste of glue coated my taste buds and soaked up all the moisture in my mouth.

Chucking the reply onto the coffee table I relaxed back into sofa. Mum’s shoulder was warm against my arm. Its heat seemed to envelope me; protect me; lull me to sleep. As if it was a lullaby, my eyes drooped. I could almost feel the weights attached to my lashes. A game show jingle reached my ears, offering, as always, a chance to change the winner’s life. This time is was a luxury holiday in Barbados with £10,000 spending money. Sometimes it was a quarter of a million pounds, a brand new car or every manner of gadget under the sun. It always seemed to me like it was offering false hope to those who were in desperate need because the chances of winning were so slim. It was almost cruel.
________________________________________

Noah Forbes and Sarah Doherty had been my friends ever since 1st year Science and our teacher had put us together at the same corner of the classroom. The rest, as they say, is history.

Sarah was supposed to work with the boy at her desk but she decided he wasn’t to her taste and worked with us for every single experiment. She got away with it because our desks joined in an L-shape in the corner and she was in the seat closest to us. The heartache she caused that guy was actually quite funny. He pinned. She spilled copper sulphate onto his blazer. Not that she had any idea. There could have been a neon sign and Sarah would have been completely oblivious.

In that respect, she didn’t change. Although she may have been oblivious to so many things, that was not the case for her friends. She had an amazing ability to perceive when things were not right with a person and detect even a subtle mood change. There she would appear in a whirlwind of corkscrew blonde curls, ready to solve the wrongs of our worlds. I often wondered if she was like me but Sarah just understood people.

Noah, on that very first period of Science, was painfully shy. He sat with his leg pressed right up again the leg of the table as if wishing to be sucked into it so he didn’t have to speak to people. Being the only person from his primary school class to come up resulted in him being terrified. His dark eyes shifted from person to person in the class, taking in every small detail but dropping his gaze when someone made eye contact. I bribed his name out of him; having forgotten a pencil and me having about five meant he had to speak. I don’t know what processed me to say, “An exchange of a pencil means an unbreakable bond of friendship. You’re never going to get rid of me.”

Either way, it remains true to this day. It took several more periods for Noah to find his voice but our friendship was cemented when he gave me one of his pencils to use. I still have the stub.

Noah is good person to have in an emergency. He’s calm and has the ability to assess situations from all angles and find the best solution. His logic is the best logic I have ever come across and no matter how many times I saw him find the perfect solution for a problem I was still unbelievably impressed.

I was looking in the mirror as I thought about my friends that night. Each time I touched on a happy memory I felt myself grow warm and glow a little brighter. I concentrated on the rays of light that were coming from my chest. It was far more obvious to me because I was wearing a thin vest top and the rays danced out onto my skin in the same way as the sun does through a layer of clouds.

Shutting my eyes I concentrated on one of my favourite memories. We had been camping and stayed up stupidly late talking by the embers of our fire. Each of us formed an edge of a triangle around the dying source of warmth. Our conversation moved from topic to topic, sometimes it strayed into deep and meaningful but mostly staying easy. It was that night I saw my first shooting star. I made a wish. I made the same wish on all six of the stars I saw.

Opening me eyes my mouth fell open. Floating as an undulating mass just above my left shoulder was my soul. I had never seen it before. It emitted a soft glow which lit my little room with a yellowy light. Although it wasn’t terribly bright, somehow there were no shadows in my room. Even from under my bed. I touched the spot where it normally glowed, only to be met with the rope of light that kept it connected to my body. It felt as though I was putting my hand through a warm patch of air, there was absolutely no substance.

“How curious,” I whispered as my fingers tried to find grip on the rope but meeting with nothing.

I don’t remember falling asleep that night. It was so warm and everything suddenly felt so much softer. It was the safest I’d felt for so long that I slept deeply and without dreaming. In morning it was gone. Rubbing my chest I tried to place the feeling I had. I felt surrounded by the surreal but the familiar had returned and I had to carry on with the daily routine.