In a Lawless Love

The days in the vacation home were some of the most pleasent Charlotte had spent with Matt since their marriage. He'd been kind for the most part. She missed Jason each day though, and she missed him most when Matt insisted they make love each night. He was determined to have his heir and he wouldn't let her even a moment of peace in that aspect. His love making was violent and rough and in some cases quite painful. She hated it and each night she'd close her eyes and imagine she were making gentle love with Jason the way she had many times before this trip.

She was sitting outside the house now painting it on a canvas. She was wrapped tightly in a long sweater and thick cotton dress. The air was cold and the autum leaves were beautiful as the trees framed the home. She closed her eyes when a cold wind blew and she took in the smells of autum. Wood fires and cinnamon filled the air and she was contented by it.

"Charlotte, darling," came a voice she didn't want yet to hear. She turned to look at Matt who was walking towards her. He smiled at her widely and she forced herself to return his smile. While they were here she'd grown to like him enough to spend her time with him and not hate him. But she had no desire to see him constantly like he so wanted her to have to.

"Good afternoon, Matt," she said. He placed his hand on her face gently and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"You are so beauitful, my darling," he said. She forced her smile again.

"Thank you," she said quietly. She turned her attention back to her painting. She could feel his hands on her back, traveling up and down. Then his hands were in her hair and she forced herself to stay calm as he pulled the pins from her braids, letting them fall from their place.

"You should allow your hair down more often. It is so beautiful."

"My mother always taught me a woman's hair should only be free for intimacy. I dont let it down when I paint, its long. It can fall into the paints."

"Then you should leave the paints for a moment," he said. She frowned at the idea of leaving her paints so she could be forced into intimacy with Matt.

"I'm afraid I'm not feeling well," she said then in an attempt to make him leave. She wanted peace and a chance to enjoy the air and the quiet smells of autum. The wind blew again and Matt shivered against her.

"How are you out here in this weather? Are you not freezing?"

"I've become accustomed to the cold," she said. She felt his body fall.

"I apologize if you feel I'm not the husband you may have hoped for as a young girl. I wasn't raised to love a woman. You surely must have seen by now the relationship I've always had with my mother. My father was a business man, Charlotte. He didn't love my mother. She provided him with heirs, as you will me. But I do love you, you will forgive me if it isn't shown the way you feel it should be." He straightened his suit jacket then and examined her painting.

"Maybe you, sir, were not raised in a household with love, but that does not give you reason so be so often times cruel," she said and stood from where she was seated in front of her canvas. "You haven't given me time nor means to love you." She went into the house then, leaving him standing in the cold wind.

The afternoon moved slowly then and when dinner came she dreaded the moment her maids would come in and bathe and dress her. She didn't want to spend another meal with Matt, looking at him and foricing herself to be his perfect pretty wife. She wished very much it had been Jason who had driven them rather than Victor.

Victor still stood near her and looked upon her with his cold dead face that send a shiver down her spine and left her cowering away from him. She always worried if he ever knew of her affair with Jason he should be more frieghtening than Matt.

The maid she had here was a young girl with long blond hair. Her hair was never pinned or orderly and often to look at it made Charlotte ashamed for the girl. She spoke only enough to finish her work and her voice seemed more like the squeak of a mouse than words coming from a girl. She bathed and dressed Charlotte quickly and nearly ran from the room each time. Charlotte found herself wishing Amber had been able to accompany her. She missed Amber and the friendship.

She was dressed this evening in a long dress, black with a low neckline that left her uncomfortable. Her mother had always been a supporter and teacher of modesty on a woman. Elaine Moore never wore a dress that closed below her neck. Her dresses were always buttoned high and tight enough to push her breasts down, giving her the appearence of a flat board.

She walked down the stairs cautiously so not to trip on the skirts of the dress. She'd finally learned to walk easily in the heeled shoes Matt had provided her. She walked carefully and she made it into the dining room where the butlers served her water in a crystal glass that glimmered in the light. Matt was already seated, dressed fully in his suit and tie, his hair in perfect order.

"Good evening, wife"¨he said to her. She frowned.

"Husband," she said. She didn't like it when they addressed each other formally. Those were the nights when the love making was painful and Matt was angry and bitter throughout the meal. She wished she wouldn't have said the hurtful words of the afternoon.

"I hope you will enjoy our final night here together. It has been so nice to have a chance to spend time with you alone without work interferring. Perhaps tomorrow before we return we should take a horse back ride through the trees. It is very beautiful here."

"That will be lovely" she said and took a sip of her water. She held the cool liquid in her mouth for a moment. "Forgive me for my words this afternoon, Matt. I did not mean the things I said," she added when she swallowed the water.

"Don't think of it, Charlotte. You meant them quiet clearly and I appreciate them. I should try now to be less hurtful to you my darling."

The butlers placed bowls filled with hot soup in front of each of them. The soup was thick and creamy with pepper and broccoli and Charlotte enjoyed its taste. She often missed the comforts of home but she was always grateful for the greatness of food in her new found wealth.

The rest of the meal was quiet. It was clear to her that Matt was still upset regardless of what he may have said. He was tense and he ate without looking in her direction. He didn't shower her with compliments the way he had on the first days of the trip. He just finished his plate, whispered in her ear to be prepared for him and walked from the room. Fear filled her at the words he'd whispered and she was unable to finish her frozen sorbet.

She wished now that Jason was with her, to hold her and make promises to her to take her away from all the pain and worry. She knew his promises could never be kept, but they were a comfort either way and she missed them tonight. She went up the stairs cautiously, holding her skirts up to avoid a fall. She was sure even injured Matt wouldn't take pity on her.

She took in a deep breath as she stood outside the bedroom door and carefully she put her hand on the doorknob. She didn't want to go inside. She didn´t want to experience this again. She let out the breath and opened the door and found Matt seated by the fire. His jacked was discarded and his shirt was opened. He held in his hand a glass full of an amber liquid.

"Matt," she said.

"I don't understand Charlotte, why you my darling don't find my love for you to be adiquate. I've given you everything you never had. I even do things with my staff at your request. I plan to let Amber marry her beau when we retrun. I've moved the old woman into the kitchen. I have given your people farm land and food! So much food Charlotte they are all now getting fat and lazy! I recieved a letter from your father some days ago thanking me for all the good i've done! Your mother was weak, sick, from not having enough to eat. Now she is healthy and strong as a mule he says. Yet you say to me i am cruel and unloving. Tonight i will show you cruel and unloving, you ungrateful bitch!"

Charlotte took a step back, her hand on the doorknob. "Matt, you are drunk."

"I am very drunk," he said and laughed. "No use in running from me, Charlotte. Victor is standing guard outside the door. You won't get far." He stood and looked at the fire for a long moment before taking a drink from the glass.

"You are frightening me," she said.

"You should be frightened," he said.

"Please, i am grateful for all you've done for me and my people. I cannot thank you enough for it."

"Tonight, i will get my heir or you will find how cruel i can honestly be," he said and she screamed when he threw the glass into the fire. It exploded with the sound of breaking glass and alcohol burning in a flare. She pressed her body against the door but he was there, too fast for her to run even if she had a fighting chance. His hands closed on her body and he pulled her away from the door. The dress was torn down the front in a violent assult and she started then to cry.

"No, please. You shall have your heir!" she cried. "Please, think of the child before you commit this violence tonight!"

He backed away from her then, his eyes narrow. They were red and angry yet she looked directly into them. "Child?" he asked.

"It has been three days since i should have recieved my signs that your heir did not set. You will have a child, Matt. A child will arrive soon." Her voice was waivering and tears fell from her eyes. She hadn't wanted to tell him until his doctors came to examine her again. She hadn't wanted to tell him until it was confirmed that she hadn't bled yet because of a child and she didnt want to tell him because she knew it wasn't truly his heir, but the child of her driver and security officer.

He looked her over and then a smile spread across his face. "A child! Of course! I may have known you werent feeling well for a child!" he said. Then he kissed her hard on her mouth. "I shall leave you then. We must think only of the child now." He left the room then in a rush and she fell to her knees, crying both from fear and relief that finally he had left her. Now she only prayed the he should never know the child was not his own heir.