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Lily’s POV

I was exhausted. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, but I’d won…for now.

I kicked off my wedges along the hallway towards my bedroom, tossed my purse on the floor, and flopped face first onto my bed. I let out a loud groan as the mattress welcomed me with comfy promises of heavy sleep, something I’d been unable to achieve for almost a month. After everything with Matt a few weeks ago, including my fainting spell, I wanted to pass out so badly and sleep for a solid 12 hours like I used to when I was a teenager, but alas I was a mother now. Plus, Zak Bagans was my boyfriend, so that didn’t help either.

“Hey how was—oh, shit,” His voice came from the door behind me and it quickly dulled down to a harsh whisper. “Are you sleeping?”

I turned over and looked at him. “I wish,” I mumbled.

“Oh. How was court then?”

He walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, extending a hand to toy with my hair. I curled up around him, drinking in his body heat. Even though it’d been stifling in that courtroom and it’d made me miserable, I longed to be close to him.

I’d finally gone to the authorities concerning Matt. I mean there wasn’t much escaping it after he’d violently attacked Zak and I in Zak’s home, therefore making it obvious he’d followed us. So far the legal system was on my side. They were holding Matt in the jail and he was being charged with assault and domestic abuse. They’d been provided with enough evidence to prove that Matt had beat me 5 years ago. I had one more court date to attend and hopefully it’d be the one that’d make it all official. Matt would get locked up for months, and if he got parole I’d have a restraining order already filled. His rights to see Avaya would be stripped, given that he’d attacked me while I’d been pregnant and ignored Avaya at the start of her life. We’d never been married, so it made it a hell of a lot easier to figure out.

“Productive,” I yawned. “We’ve made a lot of headway. In two weeks they’ll hopefully get him out of my life for good.”

“Baby, that’s great!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah, now I just have to figure out how I’m going to explain to Avaya why she’ll never see her father again.” I plucked at a loose string on Zak’s shirt. His left hand massaged my upper back in slow, comforting circles.

“You’ll figure it out,” he said. “I can be there if you want, for moral support.”

“No, I think this is something I should do alone. Once the right words come to me I’ll tell her. I hope she takes it okay.”

“She’s a kid, Lily. She won’t understand but she’ll carry on with life. They have it a lot easier than we do. Sometimes I wish I knew as little about the real world as a five year old does.”

“Right?” I sighed. “The real world sucks. My life is so fucked up. When I was five, all I could think about was growing up to be a princess. Look at the position I’m in instead. I’m 25 with a five year old daughter and I’m taking my ex-boyfriend to court for beating me and attacking you. And now I—now I don’t know what to do with myself.”

He was quiet for a moment. For some reason I thought I offended him for a split second. I was about to stutter out something about him making my life less shit when he spoke up.

“We could go away for a little while,” he said quietly, like it was some special secret.

I looked up at him, puzzled. “Alright…but where would we go? And with what money?”

He smiled. “I’ve got enough for three plane tickets.”

I sat up. “Plane? I thought you meant somewhere within easy driving distance.”

“No, I was thinking somewhere more like Michigan; Trenton, Michigan, to be exact.”

“Zak…”

“Think about it for a second, Lil. You could escape; we could all escape. We could clear our heads. I could show you the sights, and you and Av could meet my mom and sister. Mom’s been dying to meet you both. I think she already bought toys for Av. Please? It’ll make you feel better, I know it will.” He covered my hands with his on top of the mattress, his blue eyes pleading with me.

I guess he had a fair point. Getting away from Vegas might be the answer to all my stress at the moment. Plus I heard Michigan was nice this time of year. Although the thought of finally meeting Zak’s mother put butterflies in my stomach. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, I was just assuming it’d be later.

“Okay,” I finally sighed. “Alright, let’s go to Michigan.”

“Yeah?” Zak’s eyes lit up and a huge smile brightened his face.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome!” He kissed me quickly. “You’re gonna love it; it’ll be just what you need. Av’s gonna get spoiled rotten. I’ll go book the tickets right now.”

He left before I could tell him to wait. Zak Bagans wasn’t known for waiting, and I wasn’t going to be known for standing by and suffering, not anymore. So instead of sitting at home letting the stress ruin my complexion, I was going to Michigan. Kind of random, but hey, random was better than this crap.



We were on our way to Michigan…well, almost. We had to stop at Zak’s first, which I didn’t mind. I wanted to see Nick and Aaron before we left anyway. They’d quickly become my best friends, too. I felt like they were family. Avaya certainly wanted to see Nick. She was sitting on his lap and drawing pictures on her notepad with him after only five minutes of being there.

“You’re all set?” Aaron asked. “You don’t need shaving cream or snacks or ammunition?”

“Why would I need ammunition?” Zak asked, giving Aaron a look.

“You never know, man. There’s some crazies in Michigan.”

“I’m sure there’s more in Vegas.”

“Are you staying at your mom’s place?” Nick asked.

“No, they’re getting renovations in the basement so there’s no spare bedrooms at the moment. I booked us a room in a B&B.” Zak answered, staring hard at the screen of his phone.

“Which one?”

“King’s Bed & Breakfast,” Zak replied. “It’s some family establishment…been around since 1916.”

Nick’s eyes got wide and his mouth made a perfect O shape. I smirked at him, curious as to what had suddenly dawned on him.

“What?” I asked. “Is something wrong with that place? Does it have bedbugs?” I was pretty sure Nick hadn’t been to Michigan before to know that, but a mother wonders about these things.

“No, I just heard that it’s super haunted,” Nick answered with a smirk.

“Ooooo,” Aaron wiggled his fingers in Zak’s face ominously. “Zak’s gonna go sleep with the ghosts!”

“Stop it,” Zak sighed. “There’s no such thing as ghosts.”

“I don’t know, man. Maybe one will spook you while you sleep!” Nick said with a chuckle.

“Then I’d call it a dream,” Zak said before turning his blue eyes on me. “You ready to go? We don’t want to miss our flight. Mom’s gonna make a late dinner for us.”

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for you.” And praying Nick and Aaron aren’t scaring the bejeezus out of my daughter with their ghost talk…

“Alright. C’mon, Avaya, say goodbye to Nick and Aaron,” Zak said.

It was a bittersweet goodbye. It was bitter because goodbyes always sucked, but it was sweet because we’d be seeing them again soon. I hadn’t been out of Vegas since Avaya was born and I only drove up to Idaho, which really wasn’t far away. As I watched Zak say goodbye to his friends, I couldn’t help but smile. Several hours on a plane with that man beside me…I could dig it.



The plane ride to Michigan wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was long, yes, but there was minimal turbulence and Avaya only got whiny once. The flight attendant brought her a colouring book and crayons and that kept her silent and focused the rest of the ride there. I was extremely proud of her for behaving so well. Zak looked out his window most of the flight and in all honesty in made me really nervous. When Zak was silent and staring it either meant he was thinking really hard about something very serious or he was very angry. Usually I didn’t like either of those options very much. Before we landed I nudged his elbow and he tore himself away from the passing clouds.

“What?” he asked.

“Are you okay?” I murmured. The memory of everything that had happened with Matt flooded my brain and fuelled my discomfort.

“I’m fine,” he answered simply. “I’m just thinking.”

“Oh. About what?”

“Things,” he smirked. “My mom’s gonna love you.”

I blushed and stared at my lap. “How d’you know that?”

“Because I know my mom,” he chuckled. “I know what she likes.”

“You’ve tested some theories in your time, I’m guessing?”

“A good amount, yes.”

“I won’t lie, Zak, I’m really damn nervous,” I picked at my shaky knuckles. His hand delicately squeezed my knee and I relaxed a bit at his contact. At least he wasn’t angry.

“You shouldn’t be,” he consoled. “You have nothing to worry about, trust me. If my mom doesn’t like you then she must really hate me. You’re twice the person I am.”

“Don’t say that. She wouldn’t hate you; you’re her son.”

“Exactly my point,” he said. “You just have to relax, sweetie. Don’t think about meeting anyone’s expectations. Think about how much fun we’re going to have when we get there. My mom cooks the greatest food out there. Plus, my cousin owns a ranch with horses. Avaya will go nuts when she sees them.”

I smiled dreamily. The way he was describing his home was reminding me of my grandparent’s farm in Idaho. I’d adored that place when I was a kid. I’d ride the horses and feed the calves and pick flowers and vegetables from grandma’s garden out back. It had truly been my childhood paradise. My smile grew at the thought of Avaya enjoying those same things just as much as I had.

“That sounds wonderful,” I whispered, leaning my head on Zak’s shoulder.

“We’ll have to go for a sunset horse ride, you and I,” Zak said, nudging me a little.

I couldn’t hold back my giggle. “A Vegas boy like you riding a horse? Oh, I have to see that.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled. “You’re gonna get so turned on, you won’t even know what to do with yourself,” he said.

“Oh, stop it,” I hushed.

“You’ll be clawing up the side of the horse just to get to me…begging me to take my shirt off and put a cowboy hat on…”

“Oh my god, you’re so full of it!” I laughed, shoving him in his seat. “A cowboy hat isn’t your style, anyway. Although, I suppose if it was black…hm…”

“See? You’re getting hot for me already.” He winked.

“I’m going to punch you right here in this airplane.”

He shrugged. “Whatever, you’re the one who can’t control herself.”

I was about to punch his arm as promised when Avaya interrupted us.

“Mommy, are we almost there?” she asked, leaning her cheek on her hand as her tiny elbow dug into her colouring book.

I smiled and looked at Zak, who checked his phone and nodded.

“Just about, sweetheart,” I said. “Do you have to use the bathroom?”

“Yeah,” she nodded and undid her seatbelt, slipping out of her seat.

I was just setting my book aside and getting up when she stabbed a finger at me and shook her head.

“No, mommy, I can do it myself,” she said firmly before stomping off down the aisle.

I stared after her in shock for a moment until she disappeared behind a seat. Then I turned to look at Zak in disbelief.

“Did you just—did you hear what she said?” I asked.

He blinked, obviously confused. “Is she not supposed to be able to pee by herself yet?”

“No—I mean yes, she is, but…she didn’t want me to go with her,” I murmured, still in complete disbelief.

Finally Zak understood. “Oh,” he sighed. “This is the first time she’s wanted to go alone, right? That’s one of those parent shocking things, isn’t it?”

“Duh,” I said. I started to tap my fingers on my lap and I stretched up to look over the seats of the people in front of me. “Maybe I should go wait by the door, just to make sure she gets in and out okay…”

Zak put a hand on my thigh, pushing me back down onto my rear. “No, you’re going to stay right here. She can handle it, just wait and see.”

I furrowed my brow. “How do you have more confidence than me?”

He only chuckled.

Eventually Avaya came back to her seat, pride radiating from her face. She began colouring in her book again like nothing had happened.

“Well?” I asked, sneakily inspecting her for any stray toilet paper or mysterious scrapes. “Did you wash your hands with a sanitary wipe? Do you want me to give you some hand sanitizer? Did you wipe when you were done?”

She looked at me like I was naked. “Mommy!”

“What?” I gasped. “That was brave of you, going alone in public for the first time like that.”

“I know,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m not a baby anymore, mommy.”

“Right…no, you’re certainly not,” I faced forwards again, momentarily stunned before a smile cracked my face. I turned to look at Zak. “She got that sassy independence crap from you.”

He laughed. “How? She doesn’t technically have my DNA in her anywhere.”

I blushed. “I know, but…well, you’ve been around her so much. And you know how if you hang around someone long enough you start to pick up some of their traits; kind of start acting like them…”

“Trust me, I know how that works.”

He was looking at me in a way that let me know I’d rubbed off on him. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, because I wasn’t the greatest kind of person. I was still wounded and especially sheltered after everything that had happened recently and Zak was…well, he was Zak. He was bright and confident and funny and strong, everything I wasn’t. But I couldn’t help but smile back at him all the same. It didn’t matter if we shared traits now or not, I was still hopelessly in love with him regardless. That’s one thing that was going to stay constant for quite some time.