London Calling

Jen didn’t miss Zayn, she just needed a break from school in the most crucial time. She didn’t give a shit if her finals were two weeks away, she just wanted to be done with school and go home. She stayed in bed all day and watched the news, hoping that Doran’s capture would be international news. She religiously checked Canadian news on her phone while she ignored the calls and texts from the One Direction clan. She had stopped counting how many times they had called. Zayn didn’t call. She figured he was angry that she had rejected him. He wanted her to try to make friends with the One Direction significant others, but the truth was she didn’t think it was worth it. Once she left for Chicago, she and Zayn could call it quits and she would never have to see them again. If she was good friends with the others, she would have to go through awkward encounters seeing Zayn. She just didn’t need that and if cutting them all rip cord right now was how she was going to save herself, then so be it.

Her phone rang and she groaned, thinking it was one of the boys, Eleanor, or Danielle but instead it was her mom. She unlocked the screen and greeted, “Hi mom.”

“Hello dear, how are you?”

“I’m doing okay.”

“Jennifer I know that tone. Are you worried he’ll figure out you’re not in Canada?” she asked concerned. Her parents had a sharp eye out for Doran. The Canadian police were tracking Jen’s phone in case Doran found her before they found him. They had talked to the London police and Interpol before them, and if Jen dialed the emergency number from her cell phone, the London police would take immediate action to prepare for the worst. Jen was confident she would be able to hold him off to speed dial the number with the self defense classes she had taken. The family had taken as many precautions as possible to ensure the safety of the youngest Toews sibling. Each family member would call her at least once a day to make sure that she was okay.

“No, we took as many steps as we could. What happens with that happens though it is nerve wracking just sitting around. I wish they could just get him already.”

“We all do sweetie, just be patient. You can’t let the worry keep you from living your life, if you do then he still wins,” Andree Toews told her daughter in that loving tone that only a mother seemed to possess. Jen loved her mother; she was able to help her through any problem. She knew that her mother would do anything in her power to help her children. Best of all Andree trusted her kids to make the right decisions on their own. She wasn’t ever down their throats about parties or drinking so long as they checked in at the end of the night and told her they were somewhere safe when everything had been said and done. Jen had always been told that she had one of the coolest mothers around and Jen took great pride in earning her mother’s trust and therefore what everyone thought was cool about her.

“I know mom. It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Zayn and I broke up.”

“Oh I’m sorry honey. Do you know why?’

“It’s stupid to try to be involved with a guy that is constantly on tour and doesn’t even live in the same country as you. We were dumb to even think we should try,” Jen told her mom in what she hoped was a tone of finality. She didn’t love Zayn, it was too soon for that but she definitely had strong feelings for him. She wanted to be around him every minute of the day, but she had to shut it down before one of them got hurt. She cared about him too much for him to get hurt and that was why she didn’t want him to be around with the whole Doran situation and why she didn’t want a long distance relationship with him. It was too much strain for two twenty year olds. They should be enjoying life, not holding each other back. Jen was glad that people could find their matches at such a young age, but she didn’t think she would be one of those people and she wasn’t going to devote her time to something that was far from serious despite her feelings for him.

“Love takes work Jennifer; you don’t think your father and I get along every minute of every day do you?”

Jen groaned, “Mom, I am familiar with you love takes time and work speech, please spare me. I don’t love him. I’ve dated him for like a month.”

“Don’t forget that you always talk about him when I call. You may not think you love him now, but you will. He makes you happier than I’ve heard you in a long time. I’m upset that you’re giving up on that so easily. I can understand if you don’t want to have a long distance relationship, but you can at least be friends with the boy,” Andree reasoned.

“Fine mom, I’ll be friends with ‘the boy.’ He’s mad at me too you know.” Jen said as she got her English book from the bedside table and opened it to the last page she studied to continue her preparation for finals.

“Because he’s tired of you playing with his feelings, he wants to be in a serious committed relationship from the sounds of it and you keep holding back.”

“Mom’s right you know, I wouldn’t have put up if my wife didn’t put out,” David’s voice said from her mother’s side of the phone.

“David!” Jen exclaimed.

“What? I’m just saying that’s what his problem is. I’m perfectly fine with you doing what you’re doing because then Jon and I don’t have to beat his ass.”

“Okay good bye Mom, nasty man.” Before they could reply, she hung up, shaking her head. She went back to studying for the next few hours.

*******

Zayn had not left his apartment aside band business. He wasn’t in the mood for much; he stayed in and took out his aggravation on paper. He drew until his hand cramped and by that time it was the middle of the night so he grabbed some supplies and went to paint his wall outside of town.

He was just so mad, at everything. He was mad that his friends kept interfering with the progress of his and Jen’s relationship and he was mad that Jen didn’t have the patience to understand how hard it was for him and his friends to let new people in these days. Now that they were famous, it seemed that everyone was out to use them to get something they wanted from them. Every member of the band had been hurt one way or another in the past two years. Their girlfriends had suffered as well. They had to endure the fans that hated on them and constantly called them names because they had a famous boyfriend. It took a strong woman to stay with them, and Zayn knew that Jen could be that strong woman for him but she was taking the easy way out. Don’t get him wrong, Zayn was worried about the long distance relationship and her working at the United Center surrounded by pro hockey playing men.

That was her element; she had grown up in a hockey area watching her brothers. Hockey men where the type she was used to and she was bound to find them more appealing, and he never told her this but he was going insane with jealousy already at the thought of some other man touching what is his, or he guessed, was. He had been insecure about letting her out of his sight, but he was willing to do so because he would rather have her in his life than out of it. He was mad that she was obviously thinking it was better to take the easy way out. He knew that it would be especially hard for her; after all he was the one that would be on tour having tons of women throwing themselves at him while she had to take all the insults from his fans that considered her unworthy of him. It would be hard, but Zayn was sure they would make it through; she just had to have the same faith.

Most of all he was mad that he was sulking. He shouldn’t give a damn about a woman not loving him back. Even though he had always thought he would get married early, he was still just twenty years old. He had time to figure out who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. One woman not loving him the way he loved her shouldn’t matter, but it did. It really did. Zayn had everything he had ever wanted, a great career, enough money to support a family, and great friends. All he needed now was someone to share that with. It made him incredibly angry that Jen didn’t seem to be ready for the same thing. Sure she was still in college and was trying to get her writing career off the ground, but she should know that Zayn would never interfere with that. He didn’t want her to move to London for him or anything. He would welcome the idea with open arms, but he wasn’t going to make her move unless she did it of her own accord. Also, it wasn’t like he was trying to put a ring on her finger tomorrow. They hadn’t been together long and Zayn knew he had to have patience with her, but he could only wait so long for her to open up to his family. Make no mistake, his band and their girlfriends were his family and nothing less. However he felt about Jen, he knew that he could never be with someone who didn’t want to be a part of that family. If she wasn’t ready to be at least friends with them, then he knew their relationship would ultimately fail. He needed all parts of his life to blend, simple as that. He wasn’t going to be divided and the thought of having to lose Jen, who he knew could be great friends of all his family members, was like a knife to his chest. He didn’t want to chose family over his girlfriend, but she was forcing his hand and it was driving him mad.

He had ignored Danielle’s pleas to let her into his apartment so she could talk to him, but he wouldn’t do it despite how much Liam had been calling. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, he especially didn’t want to talk to Jen until she was serious about their relationship and was willing to work for it. It was too hard for him to trust someone who only put in half an effort. He needed all of her if he had to give his all to her. He would take nothing less and by giving Jen the cold shoulder, he hoped she would come to her senses.

He needed to blow off some steam some other way. He decided he needed a night out. He needed to drink and shamelessly flirt, maybe even take someone home. He was tired of taking things slow. He was done putting someone else’s needs before his own. Tonight was about him and he would do whatever the hell he wanted. He didn’t have a girlfriend that was serious, so he shouldn’t take the fact that she was his girlfriend seriously.

He took a shower styled his hair into his signature quaff before dressing in gray jeans a gray shirt and a black jean jacket. He got his keys from the counter in his kitchen and made his way out of his flat.

*******

Jen threw back a Mini Beer shot before chasing it with her rum and coke. She motioned for another when she finished her second rum and coke. When she had enough of studying, she felt like letting loose and so she found a club walking distance from her apartment and planned to drink her stress away. After her fourth rum and coke on an empty stomach, she decided some dancing was in order. She made her way through the crowd in her tight red off the shoulder dress with quarter length sleeves. Her red pumps clacked against the floor as she found her way in the center of the crowd and began dancing by herself.

Not long after she smiled as she felt a pair of strong hands on her waist. She wasted no time grinding into the man behind her. She was impressed by how well he knew how to dance. She didn’t dance a lot, but when she went out with Jonathan’s team she preferred to dance with Patrick Kane before he found a conquest because he knew was one of the best dancers she knew. This man was giving Patrick a run for his money. The way he moved his hips with hers was driving her crazy. She felt one of his hands move her hair off her shoulder and his hot breath on her ear when he spoke to her, “What the hell are you doing?”

Her eyes snapped open as she immediately recognized the voice. She could ask him the same thing, but she didn’t want to deal with their problems. She just wanted to forget for one night. She didn’t want him to be famous or for her to have so many problems with committing to him, she just wanted to do something reckless and fun. She was tired of living her life afraid. Her mother was right; she had been letting Doran control her life for so long. It was time to take it back. She turned toward him and grinded her hips to his before smirking at the obvious effort it were taking him to remain calm. “Dancing, what are you doing?”

“I was looking for a fit bird to take home for the night, but I got distracted,” he told her harshly. She simply shrugged and crashed her lips to his he put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her away from him, “What are you doing?”

“Look, I want to get out of my head for one night which is why I had too many shots to count and am looking for a good time. You’re looking for someone to fuck, so why don’t we call a truce for the night. You can take me to your place and have your way with me and then we can figure out our shit later? Maybe after a good lay we will be less tense. You’re a good lay aren’t you? Maybe I will have to break up with you.”

“Just shut up,” he hissed as he roughly pulled her into him and kissed her hard. It wasn’t slow or sensual. It was full of passion and need. There wasn’t a fight for dominance in the kiss; there was no way Zayn would be out matched. She was giving him what he needed and she knew he wasn’t about to let her back out now. His lips separated from hers, only to attach themselves to her neck below her ear. He gently nipped at the sensitive skin and she put her hands into his hair and pulled roughly. Before they went any further, Zayn pulled her by the hand and they left the club after grabbing her coat and her purse hidden underneath it. She struggled to keep up with Zayn’s long strides as he made his way in the direction of her apartment. When they were in the elevator, Zayn slammed her against the wall and kissed her once more. She let him lift her into his arms as she wrapped her legs around his waist, all the while his mouth taking no mercy in its assault on her own. He carried her to her apartment and without breaking their kiss she handed over her keys. Zayn let them in and they wasted no time when they started dropping shoes. Once her heels were off, Zayn put her feet on the ground and she pulled his jean jacket from his shoulders and dropped it on the ground. His hands slid up her body and found themselves at the top of her dress and on the zipper.

******

Jen had just covered her body with a towel when she heard Zayn yelling her name. She stepped out of her bathroom to see Zayn put on his boxers in a hurried fashion before looking for his jeans. She resisted the urge to laugh at him hurrying around the room. “What are you doing?” She asked him, her voice laced with amusement.

He looked at and instantly his whole demeanor changed. His whole posture relaxed and a lazy smile overtook his face. He didn’t say anything; he just came over to her and gave her a hug. She started to laugh when he kissed her cheek dramatically, making a loud noise as he did so. “I thought you left,” he told her.

“Dude, it’s my apartment, you would have to leave. You obviously didn’t get the memo,” she said while crossing her arms over her chest. Her serious face was betrayed by the grin she had in place.

Zayn dropped the joking manner and kissed her on the forehead. Looking down at her, he asked, “Are you okay with what happened?”

She rolled her eyes, “Just when I thought you were cool. I’ll say this once and then I don’t want to talk about it; I just want to repeat it. I’m fine in fact I am more than fine. I’m glad it happened because I don’t feel weighed down by the past anymore.”

In truth she felt better than she had in the past couple of years. She was finally able to stop thinking about how her past affected her and concentrate on her future, a future that she hoped Zayn would stay apart of. She didn’t tell him that her mother was right, but she was. She may not have loved him before, but she loved him now. It wasn’t only what happened that made her realize this, she had been fighting how much she had felt for him from day one. She had always felt a connection to Zayn, but now she was sure that they both felt the same way.

Jen knew that they had trouble ahead for them with the fact that Doran was looking for her and that prevented her from spending her summer on the One Direction tour and that would make them have to have a long distance relationship. She was so used to him being around every moment of the day that she wasn’t sure she could cope when he wasn’t there. Not because she needed him to always be with her, she simply wanted him there. She craved his presence and the serenity it brought. Zayn appreciated her for who she was, not what she had previously thought made her just the victim of rape that should be pitied by everyone. Sure he felt sad for her, but they had bonded long before she had told him. He didn’t let one night change how he viewed her; she was still the smart writer he had always known. He just said he thought she was tougher because of it.

Coming to London had been one of the best things in Jen’s life. She was able to find herself again
and begin to live her life once more. She was able to find someone she truly cared for and cared for her in return. She had found the passion to experience life to the fullest which enabled her to write better and put her feelings into her writing. She had been detached from the world for so long and now she felt like she had just woken up from a coma, healthy and ready to start again with nothing holding her back. She realized that she had survived a tragedy and she should be thankful instead of dwelling on it and letting what she had lost rule her.

She may have lost a new family member and the chance to be a mother and for that she would always mourn for her unborn child, but she hadn’t lost the ability to love a man and express that through a physical act. After her first experience she didn’t think she would ever want to be intimate with a man, but Zayn had made her go from how bad and hurtful sex could be to how wonderful and full of love sex could be, though she would keep this all to herself for now. She realized she loved Zayn, but that didn’t mean he felt the same. She didn’t want to be one of those girls that thought since she and her boyfriend had sex, they would be together forever. She took it for what it was worth, Zayn had given her life back to her and for that she would always love him, whether she would stay in love with him was up to fate and its plans for them.

“That’s what you deserve Jen. You deserve to live your life without any regret, especially something you had no control over.”

She smiled as she placed her head against his bare chest. She kissed the skin his heart hid under and replied, “I know that now.”

“Good, I have the day off today, from university, from the band and I want to spend it with you. What should we do?”

“Is it weird if I want to stay in bed with you all day watching movies and jumping your bones?” she said with a smirk.

He grinned down at her, “Not at all.” He suddenly swept her into his arms and threw her on her bed, following behind her as she stopped bouncing on the mattress. With a hand on her towel he told her, “I think we should start the jumping of the bones portion of our day, we can find food and movies later.”

She grinned and connected her lips to his.