You Are My Mountain, You Are My Sea

It’s been eighteen months. Eighteen months of Skype calls, expensive texts and back and forth emails, meetings in airports, short weekends and nights in hotel rooms. A year and a half, eighteen months, seventy eight weeks, five hundred and forty six days and thirteen thousand one hundred and four hours. Approximately.

It’s weird because on the scale of things, on the scale of Jack’s life, that’s just a tiny fraction, but she already seems like a constant to Jack. If he didn’t really think about it, like he often doesn’t, he’d swear she’d been in his life forever. That says a lot about how they see each other. It’s exactly the same for her as well. People always ask her how she manages with him being gone so often and though it’s obviously hard, she doesn’t see how they can just suggest she be with someone else who lived in one place, because why would she ever be with anyone who’s not Jack? People ask him if he misses his old lifestyle of chatting up girls in bars and he tells them that of course he doesn’t! Why would he want that when he’s got the most amazing person on the planet waiting at home? It’s actually quite simple really, to them at least.

In the time between the summer in which they met and the current spring, Sam has moved in with Jack. She moved the last of her things a few months ago, and at the time most people had questioned their decision because they hadn’t been together all that long, and living together is a big step for any relationship. But it wasn’t that big a deal for either of them, Jack is away most of the time anyway and any time that he’s not touring is spent with Sam anyway, so why not have her at home? It just seemed like the obvious thing to both of them so, when Sam’s lease ran out on her apartment, she only had to mention house hunting once before Jack invited her to move in with him and it took her all of four seconds to accept. The main problem was moving state, but she’d already moved away from her family when she’d gone to California and she didn’t have many close friends in the area since she’d spent most of her time touring or somewhere else with Jack. It wasn’t a big deal because it just made sense, neither really thought anything of it, shrugging it off when people told them it was a bad move. They knew it would be good for them; they need as much time together as possible to remind them why they put the huge amounts of effort into their relationship that they do, so that when they’re apart for weeks on end they know it’s worth the wait to see the other again.



Jack finished his latest tour yesterday, having only arrived in Baltimore from some place in Germany he can’t remember or properly pronounce the name of, a few short hours ago. He’s on his first proper holiday in something like nine months and he gets three solid weeks at home with Sam. Although he’s happy to be home and finally back with his girlfriend, he’s also really tired and achy from the uncomfortable airplane seats and Sam’s not doing anything to help.

Tomorrow she’s got an interview with a label, the first time someone has wanted to hear some of her songs since Aftershock broke up and she’s potentially got the chance to write a whole album for one of the label’s artists. Its kind of a big deal. She decided she couldn’t not tell Jack, and he’d been so excited when she had, but she didn’t want to tell everyone else in case it doesn’t work out. She’s not really expecting it to. So he’s the only person she’s got to vent to about it and though of course he’s more than happy to comfort her, he’d do anything to make her happy, she just needs to calm the hell down. Like now.

She’s stressing out, she’s nervous as hell and it’s starting to get on Jack’s nerves because for one, she has no need to be, and he also just wants to get some sleep with his girlfriend lay comfortably beside him like he’s been missing for a long time.
“Sammy stop moving” he says groggily, still more than tired from his flight
“Sorry” she murmurs, curling into his side and staying still for all of four seconds before she’s rolling around again. Jack sighs and pulls at her arm, pulling her on top of him and then resting his arms around her waist
“What’s up with you? you can hardly keep still” he asks quietly
“What if I mess up? What if they don’t like the songs? I don’t know if I want to do it anymore, I’ve never had an interview before” she rambles, pouting down at Jack with genuine fear
“It’s going to be fine, Sam, I promise you. You’re going to do amazing” he tells her, but the words have no effect and she just slumps down, resting her head on his chest and squeezing her eyes shut
“What if I’m not though, what if I forget what to say? Maybe they won’t even like the songs, they’ll probably think they’re all rubbish” she continues and Jack cuts her off, putting a hand on each side of her face and lifting her head up so he can look into her eyes
“Cut the bullshit, Sam. You’re going to blow them away and we both know it. Everything’s going to go fucking perfectly. I believe in you and you should too, okay?” he says sternly and she nods and smiles a little, those words had some effect, but not as much as Jack had liked. He can tell she’s still really very nervous and needs either more convincing or a little distraction. Having tried the first, he opts for the second, rolling the pair of them over so he’s hovering above her.

He smiles down at her and starts to kiss her gently
“I thought you were tired” she teases, hands moving up to tangle in his already messy hair as they always do while he starts to press kisses along her jaw.
“You know me, Sam, never too tired” he smirks and moves down to the spot on her neck that’s just below her jaw and almost behind her ear where sets about making some sort of mark, chuckling when she moves his head away before he makes any real progress
“Not before tomorrow” she tells him and he tries again but she bats him away once more.
“You need to calm down.” he says, punctuating each word with a kiss on a different part of her face.
“I’m just scared”
“What’s the worst that can happen?” he murmurs into her ear before biting her lobe a little
“They tell me my songs are shit” she says as if it’s obvious
“They’re not going to say that” Jack says so confidently Sam almost believes it
“You can’t know that” she breathes back and Jack knows he’s fighting a losing battle and kisses her once again, proceeding to distract her for the next hour or so.



One thing that Jack hasn’t failed to notice over the past year is that Sam’s put on a bit of weight, not a lot, and it’s not particularly noticeable unless you study her like Jack does. He just notices that when he’s pressing kisses to her collar bones they’re not quite as sharp as they once were, when he runs his hands over her ribs they don’t protrude like they used to and when he holds her hips they fit better in his hands. He puts it down to the healthier routine that she’s stuck to since coming off tour, doing more cooking and going out for runs in order to keep herself occupied, she’s seems more healthy now. But there’s a little voice in the back of his head that’s thinking maybe its because of him, maybe she’s more confident in her body because the times when she does gain a little bit of a stomach or her thighs get a bit bigger, he doesn’t bat an eyelid. She knows that he’ll love her no matter what and that gives her the confidence to be slim for herself rather than for anyone else. He really hopes he’s the reason.

Jack wakes up somewhat early the following morning to an empty bed and he sighs a little, he’s spent far too long in empty bunks and hotel bedrooms and right now he just wants to be holding Sam in their bed because he finally can. He can’t hear the shower running so he assumes she’s gone downstairs to do something to get her mind off things. She does some weird shit when she’s nervous. He pulls himself out of the bed which, for the record, isn’t something he’d do if he felt he had an choice, pulls on a sweater because the house isn’t nearly as warm as his heaven of a bed was and heads downstairs. When he finds his girlfriend, she’s sat cross legged on the floor in the kitchen, tidying the fridge. She’s rearranged the various trays of left over takeaways around the yoghurts that she buys and Jack stays away from and is currently sorting the drinks, Jack’s on the right and hers on the left, things they both drink in the middle.

Jack can’t help the fond smile that makes it’s way to his face as he watches her from the doorway for a few moments. He doesn't hesitate as he walks over, the laminate floor cold against his bare feet, and leans down a little to wrap his arms around her middle. He picks her up effortlessly and spins her in his arms so he can put her over his shoulder.
“Jack! What the hell?” she exclaims and he kicks the fridge door shut as he turns back to the door, jars of pasta sauce still left on the floor. She continues to squirm in his grip as he wordlessly carries her upstairs and into their room.

“New rule” he begins as he lays her down on the bed and gets in next to her, pulling the covers over both of them
“We don't leave the bed before nine thirty. Ever.” she giggles at his seriousness
“I wasn’t done Jack” she says and tries to wriggled free but Jack’s quick to have his arms wrapped around her firmly so she can hardly move
“Jack!” she moans but she’s smiling and Jack’s smiling as he continues
“It’s ten past nine. There’s twenty minutes before we can move.” he states and she stops squirming, turning to face Jack in his grip
“What the fuck were you doing in the fridge anyway?” he questions, nudging her nose a little with his own
“I was tidying it.” she grumbles back, knowing he’s going to tease her about it and Jack laughs a little
“Of all the places to tidy, you choose the fridge”
“It’s perfectly reasonable place to tidy” she protests and he just settles into a soft smile “it’s not my fault you’ve never tidied a room in your life.”
“I’ve tidied rooms, I tidied my whole house the first time you came over”
“You didn’t do a very good job.”

They continue to bicker in the same affectionate way for far more than twenty minutes, staying in the bed until around eleven when Jack is finally forced to submit to the fact he can no longer distract her from the terrifying reality that she has an interview at one and she’s not even started deciding on an outfit. He knows that at this point it’s best to just leave her to herself and heads downstairs to make them both some breakfast even though it’s verging on lunch time as she goes for a shower to start the long and stressful preparation process.

When she reappears in the kitchen, her dark hair is stick straight, falling just past her shoulders and she’s wearing a simple navy dress. Jack can’t help but smile a little more when he sees her. He’s fucking lucky. She walks over and he leans down to give her a quick kiss, careful not to touch her because his hands are covered in cooking things and her dress is perfect
“You look great” he tells her and she blushes. She doesn’t think she’ll ever not blush when he compliments her.
“Thank you, do you not think it’s a little too much?” she asks him, looking down at the dress and he shakes his head without hesitation
“You look really smart and really hot as well but I don’t think they’ll care about that as much as do” he smirks and she giggles, the blush deepening as she tucks into his side while he starts plating up the food.
“I’ll give you a lift there” he says as they each take a plate of bacon and toast to the table, his holding about twice as much food as hers.
“You don’t have to, you’re not even dressed”
“If I let you drive yourself you probably won’t go” Sam laughs at this but deep down she knows it’s true. “and I can get dressed while you do your makeup”

The drive is quiet and all Jack wants to do is calm her down because he really hates seeing her like this. He really hates seeing her anything other than completely happy. Unsure of what to say, or whether to say anything at all, he settles for curling his hand around hers where it lays on her thigh and rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. As they get closer he sneaks glances at her, her eyes pointed out the window and he just wants to know what she’s thinking. She seems to be pulled back into the real world when Jack pulls up into the carpark of the building of the record company. It’s huge and professional looking and even in her nice dress she feels out of place. With a deep breath she opens the door but she doesn’t get out of the car, just looking at the building
“Sam” Jack says and she tears her eyes away to look at him “You’re going to be fine. They’re going to love the songs and they’re going to love you because you and the songs are amazing, okay?” his eyes are set and there’s a soft smile on his lips
“Okay” she murmurs and he leans over the centre of the car to kiss her but she turns her face away
“Lipstick, sorry” she explains and he smiles a little because he’s made that mistake before and presses a kiss to her cheek instead
“Go blow them away, Sam. I’ll be back here in an hour.” they share one more look and then she gets out of the car with a surge of determination and confidence that lasts all of five seconds at which point she turns to see Jack watching her out of the car window and he gives her one of his huge grins and a thumbs up which is the further push she needs to get herself through the hugs glass door.



An hour and twenty three minutes later, and Jack is contemplating going into the building to find her. It was supposed to be an hour long, more or less, and he’d been fine for about fifteen minutes longer but then when the clock on his phone told him it was creeping ever closer to twenty minutes, then twenty five, he’d started to get a little worried and that little feeling is only growing as the times passes. He’s not afraid of her having been kidnapped or having entered a portal to another dimension, because she could probably deal with that, he’s scared it’s gone badly and she’s curled up somewhere on her own telling herself that it’s her fault, she couldn’t deal with that.

Two minutes that feel like two millennia to Jack pass and at this point he’s stood leaning against the car where he’ll get the best view of the door so he’ll see her the moment she steps out of it. Then she does. She walks out slowly at first and then seems to notice him at which point she speeds up to the sort of fast walk only ever achieved by people in heels. She doesn’t say anything when she reaches him and Jack never managed to get a good view of her face so he only knows she’s crying when he feels the tears soaking into his shirt.

“Sammy, what happened?” he asks, trying to get a proper look at her without uncurling her arms from around him and immediately assuming the worst then wanting to punch whoever it was that made her cry. She pulls back and he sees that she’s smiling as he pushes her hair from her face and she wipes the tears from under her eyes.
“Sam?” he asks quietly, clearly anxious and she lets out a little laugh because even though she feels bad for worrying him, she’s just really happy.
“They want the songs,” she explains “they want an album of my songs.” it takes Jack a second or so before he remembers that Sam cries when she’s happy as well. A grin breaks out on his face and before he knows it he’s picked her up and is spinning her round as she lets out a little squeal of surprise before she starts giggling and he puts her down.
“I told you so, I told you so, I told you so.” he beams and leans down to kiss her, not a single care for her lipstick.

“It’s not set in stone” she explains on the car ride back as she sips on the now somewhat cold coffee Jack had got her while she’d been in the meeting.
“They could change their mind at any time but they say that they can’t see any reason why they would at the moment”
“They won’t pull out, Sam” he assures her and he’s still not wiped the grin of his face, Sam hasn’t either. There’s a few moments of quiet before Jack speaks again
“I say we go out for dinner to celebrate” he begins and Sam turns from the window to look at hims, sensing he’s got more to say
“Yeah?”
“and I say we invite everyone else so you can tell them the good news” he finishes and gives her a look that tells her there’s no way she can get out of this.
“Sure” she smiles because she’s on top of the fucking world “but you’re organising it.” she adds cheekily.



And organise it he did. When Jack sets his mind to something he’s actually pretty good at getting things together, otherwise, he’s useless. He’d called everyone up and persuaded them to come out and called the restaurant and booked the table. When Jack said everyone, he meant everyone; so, as they walk into the Italian place that he knows Sam loves, they’re greeted by the rest of his band, Rian’s girlfriend Cassadee; Matt and Danny as well as their respective girlfriends with Grieco and Evan on their way; the others couldn’t make it. They were invited with the knowledge that Sam had some good news that was worth celebrating, but what exactly it is they don’t know.

“What is it? What’s the news?” Cassadee demands as soon as they’re in hearing range of the table and Jack speaks before Sam can
“She’s not allowed to tell you yet” he says “we need to wait until everyone’s here” the brunette girl gives Jack the dirtiest look imaginable and Sam just giggles as they sit down and Cassadee huffs slightly, even more curious now that she’s seen just how much Sam is grinning.

Evan and Grieco are very nearly late and the rest of the group give them an enthusiastic round of applause when they do walk in just to make them feel suitably uncomfortable as it draws the attention of the rest of the restaurant.
“You can tell us the news now.” Cassadee states with a playful smirk in Jack’s direction and he and Sam share a look. She’s looking for permission to talk and he’s looking to see if she’s happy to
“It’s your news” he murmurs and smiles, placing his hand over hers where it rests on her lap and squeezing it gently. She wonders whether she should stand up, but decides she doesn’t want that sort of attention, it’s an elaborate enough way to tell them as it is, so she just shuffles in her chair for no real reason other than that she always feels uncomfortable when the focus is on her and clears her throat in an attempt of getting the attention of those at the other end of the table. It doesn’t work.
“Hey, Alex. Shut the fuck up. Sam wants to talk.” Jack calls over and Alex stops talking and turns to smile at the girl next to Jack.
“Go on.” Jack encourages, looking at her with the same look that always has her weakening a little at the knees.

She’s quiet for a moment
“You know how I have my soundcloud account with my contact details and stuff on it? Well a few weeks ago this guy got in touch with me, asking a few questions and stuff about what I do and what I write.” she pauses, checking to make sure the rest of them are actually listening to her, they are so she continues “As it turns out he works for this record company and they were looking for someone to write a few songs for one of their bands” The group are just about to start congratulating her but Jack speaks first
“Hold on there’s a little bit more” he grins and looks to Sam, as does every other pair of eyes at the table
“Well, he invited me to a meeting, this morning actually, and uhh, they said they want me to write one of their bands an album” to her it sounds pretty dull, she’s not very good at making things sound exciting, but everyone around her has erupted into grins and congratulations so she obviously must have got her point across.
“Oh sweetie! That’s amazing!” Cass’ voice can only be described as a squeal and Sam’s already blushing furiously. Everyone at the table gives her some sort of congratulation as Jack pulls her into his side and rubs the side of her arm.

“What record company is it?” Alex asks, starting the round of questions that are then thrown in her direction and she’s quite pleased that she can answer them all with ease. She’s slowly growing confident about the whole thing and that all of her friends gave her such a positive reaction, showing none of the doubts that she felt about it, made her realise that she’s allowed to think it’ll be okay. She’s okay to not worry.



The weeks they have together fly by in a blur of takeaway food, mornings in bed, crappy films, really good films, nights out, days out, bad cooking and a lot of kissing, cuddling and sex. They barely separated for any extended length of time, they enjoy each other’s company. Anything is more fun with the other there and they’ve yet to find an exception to the rule.

It’s always the same when Jack leaves, they get a take away the night before because neither want to waste time cooking. Usually it'll be a chinese and Sam always gets her chicken noodles while Jack always gets his crispy beef and they both pick a variety of other dishes they know they won’t be able to finish in one night. They don’t mention Jack leaving the next morning when he packs his bag while she makes him breakfast. They don’t mention it while they eat or while Jack drive to the airport. Nobody mentions anything about leaving when they meet up with the band and crew and they can almost pretend like Jack’s just going to get on a flight and be gone for a few hours, not a few months. They sit around and talk like they’re hanging out in their lounge one evening but as the time goes on, the touches Sam and Jack share become more lingering and they grip each other a little tighter as they feel the seconds ticking away.

When the pair go to get coffee, they don’t return to the group. Instead finding a corner in which they sit, the big glass wall every airport seems to have behind them, a wall to their right and a very large plant pot in front of them. They’re sat shoulder to shoulder, in their own little world in their little hide out as they share headphones and Jack makes Sam let him take a photo of them together because he’s got this thing of always wanting to have a recent photo of her. It immediately becomes his phone lock screen. They’re quiet for a minute because they both know what conversation is coming up.
“I hate airports.” Jack says, skirting around it and taking the hand of hers that isn’t holding her coffee in his his own and just trying to memorise what his palm feels like in his own for what seems like the millionth time.
“There’s nothing bad about airports” she murmurs back and he chuckles.
“I seem to want to cry every time I step foot in one.” he’s smiling but it’s not quite happy and her eyebrows pull together as she squeezes his hand
“Because I have to leave you.” he finishes, bumping his nose against hers
“Sometimes I’m there waiting for you” she tries because she doesn’t like to see him not making dick jokes.
“And most of the time you’re not.”
“Jack” she murmurs, shuffling closer into his side and curling an arm around his middle as he rests his forehead on the top of her head and presses a soft kiss into her hair
“I know, Sam, I know. I’m sorry”

After a few minutes of quiet as neither know quite what to say, Jack wraps his arm round her waist and holds her close like he knows he’s going to miss doing in just a few short days. Then he takes the plunge and says the words he’s been dying to say for months now.
“I love you, you know” he murmurs and she turns her head so she can look into his eyes and sees him looking back as soft smiles spread across both of their faces because she can see in his eyes that he means it
“I love you too” she breaths back and even in the bustle of the airport around them he can hear her, the usually overwhelming sound seems to have been drowned out and now it’s just a dull haze because it feels like it’s just the two of them in the entire universe.

It’s the first time either of them has ever said those three simple words that mean so much to another person completely purposefully and without a hint of doubt behind it. It’s the first time they’ve ever said it with it’s true meaning to anyone. They just look at each other for a moment and then let out a little laugh and then they kiss each other once again, it’s just one of thousands they’ve shared and it’s exactly the same but a hundred times better at the same time. It’s a promise of a future and they both pull away grinning. It’s sucked away any leftover negativity from just a moment before because it’s multiplied the trust that Jack has in Sam to stay until when he gets back a hundredfold and the same for Sam.

“Holy fuck I really, really fucking love you” he laughs and kisses her again, hand curling around her cheek and hers winds up around his neck as she smiles into it, at a bit of a loss for words.

About half an hour full of quick kisses and unfunny jokes from Jack that bring soft giggles from Sam’s lips later, Matt walks over. He hates doing this, having to be the first to mention that Jack’s leaving, but he has to because they’ve got a flight they have to catch. Sam and Jack know the drill by now anyway, which lessens the blow for Matt because as soon as they see him approaching they both let out a little sigh and get to their feet.
“Time’s up guys, we board in a few minutes” Matt tells them, smiling a little as a gesture toward them, rather than because he’s happy to be splitting them up. Nobody ever enjoys that. Neither Jack nor Sam say anything, they just each take one of Jack’s bags and the other’s hand and walk over to the rest of the group who also offer them little smiles.

Jack’s the last to go through as he always is and he turns back to Sam before he does, placing a hand on her cheek and kissing her softly because he doesn’t feel the need to rush, there’s no urgency because they just pretty much confirmed they’ve got forever with each other.
“I really, really fucking love you too” she says when they separate and he lets out a breathy laugh as he smiles.
“I’ll see you soon” he tells her and she nods. Then he drops his hand, rips his eyes from hers and goes, looking back just before he disappears so he can wave at her, just like always. She waves back and then he’s gone and she starts counting down the days til she’ll see him again.