Incestual Orgies and Other Fond Memories

From there on then, life went back to normal; or at least as normal as it could get considering the slightly too close for comfort, vaguely incestual bond the four shared. The presence of Matt helped ease any remaining tension between the group.

At first Zack had been wary of him. Of them all, he was the one most vulnerable to change and even felt somewhat threatened by the reoccurring company of a “new group member”. Alex and Rian already knew him, and Jack was willing to accept anyone and do anything for them as long as they plied him with food (as Matt so often did). But after a couple of weeks, Matts acquaintanceship morphed into friendship and all of them, Zack included, accepted it as natural, as if he’d always been in their lives.

Matt could be moody and had a tendency to snap if he was overtired or overworked, but so did Alex, meaning they were all used to it. So when he finally stopped leaving the apartment and instead made up a bed on the sofa, none of them said anything or changed their behaviours. They remained exactly the same as always; Alex still wandered around the apartment at four am when he couldn’t sleep, Zack still worked out obsessively in the living room, and Jack still wandered around fully naked if he didn’t feel like wearing clothes.

University classes were no longer as stressful as they had originally been, and the upcoming winter holidays made everyone relaxed. Tensions in their “family unit” were low; rather than fighting it was easier to just enjoy the presence of each person.

Cold nights were spent piled up on the sofa (now known as Matt’s bed), huddled under blankets and duvets. Vast quantities of beer were consumed, as well as enough popcorn and pot noodles to feed a small African village.

Although Alex was less stressed about coursework and essays, his mood was still wobbly due to his extreme distaste towards having to smoke in the cold. To try and placate him, Zack would bring a blanket down and him, Alex and Matt would snuggle under it, using that and their body warmth to prevent him from getting bitchy.

This worked for approximately one week before Alex’s shitty immune system failed him. If they though slightly chilly Alex was hell to deal with, they were soon wishing for him back compared to nicotine-deprived-cold-and-sick Alex. The lack of nutrients that came from a diet of purely junk food and pot noodles had resulted in Alex getting a cold. Compared to the extensive selection of numerable illnesses out there, simply getting a mild cold was relatively unproblematic. Or at least it would be for any other human being, but Alex was in a class of his own when it came to being a bitchy, whiny patient.

Jack did his best, fetching Alex soup, water, crackers. Taking blankets off when he moaned about being too hot, then fetching more when the shivering and chills started. Alex was doing his best to make it difficult though; not purposely, but he just wasn’t good at coping when sick.

“Jaaaack.” came a pitiful wail from the bedroom. “Jaaack I don’t feel good.”

“You haven’t felt good all week.” Replied Jack lightheartedly, coming in to sit on the edge of the bed.

Alex pouted, pulling the blankets up over his face. “I want a cigarette.”

“Well you can’t smoke in here.”

Jack tugged the blankets back down before Alex suffocated himself out of sheer boredom and nicotine deficiency.

“What if you opened the window?”

Jack refused to even dignify that with a response, instead moving around the bed to smooth out the tangled sheets.

“Alright, alright. If you just help me to make sure I don’t fall to my tragic death then I’ll sit on the fire escape.”

“That’ll do wonders for your cold.” Jack said mildly. At Alex’s death glare he relented. Pissing off his boyfriend even more was not a good plan. “Fine. But you’re putting a scarf and hat on.”

---

“I feel like a fucking snowman.” Alex complained, sitting on the metal fire escape. His legs had gave out almost the second they’d got outside so Jack had nipped back to pull off a sofa cushion for Alex to sit on.

“There’s no snow.” Jack teased. “But if there was, you’d make a great one. The sexiest snowman in existence.”

Alex responds by flicking ash at him. Jack watches, almost mesmerised as he stubs out his cigarette.

It’s a deliberate motion, not the gentle taps of Zack, nor the throw-it-away motion Matt favours. Alex grinds it unhurriedly on the railings before pushing the stub flat with the pad of his thumb. If you look close enough, said thumb is covered in tiny pockmarked burns from when he wasn’t quite meticulous enough in this action.

Jack stands to return inside but Alex apparently has other plans. As he pulled out the familiar twisted paper of a joint, he spun it between his fingers lazily as he dug under his many blanket layers for the white bic lighter he took everywhere.

He leant in close, so close that Jack could feel the warm mists of his breath tickle against his cheek.

“Jaack.”

“Yes?” Jack answered quietly, almost afraid to break the peaceful serenity settled over them; an eventual lull in Alex’s almost constant whinging from the last four days.

A smile broke across Alex’s features, lighting up his eyes and illuminating his face. The dark circles under his eyes and the paleness of his skin was almost eradicated by its intensity.

“Get high with me?”

---

Meanwhile, Matt and Zack were doing the slightly more legal thing of actually smoking outside.

Layered up to prevent the same fate as Alex, the two stood in silence as they smoked. Their only movements came from Matt occasionally turning to face Zack to relight off his cigarette when his rollup went out with each gust of wind.

Zack jumped when Matt finally broke the silence between them.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“What?” Zack was genuinely confused. The question had come from nowhere and its pragmatics
unidentifiable.

“Jack.”

With that one four letter name, Zack could almost feel the protective walls he’d formed around those feelings begin to crumble into dust. Deciding to play dumb, he regained his composure. “Of course I like him, dickwad. He’s my best friend.”

“But you like him more than just that. You like-like him.”

At that, Zack rolled his eyes. “Are you four years old Matt? And don’t be stupid. We’re just friends.”

With that, he turned to walk away back inside but Matt grabbed his shoulder, anchoring him in place.

“Zack. I know. You gave it away at the party when you were stoned. Why can’t you just admit it?”

At that, Zack snapped. Whirling around, Matt caught the flash of tears, before Zack ducked his head to hide them.

“Because. It would ruin everything. Jack has Alex and they’re both my best friends. I can’t do it. I can’t ruin that.”

Matt pulled him into a hug, a wordless acceptance of this confession. In that action, Zack felt everything he’d needed to hear.

/“I understand. It’s okay.”/