I Think I Gave Them Ebola
I Think I Gave them Ebola (It's a One Shot)
My cursor hovered over the purchase button as I clicked hesitantly with my index finger. A message popped up on the screen “Thank you for your purchase. A receipt will be emailed to araponds42@gmail.com.” I exited out of the browser and got up from the wooden chair in front of my computer desk. Calmly, I walked into the kitchen before I broke down and exclaimed “I’m going to meet Jonathan Toews!” to the empty rooms of my home. My stomach lurched with the titillating thought. Not only was Jonathan Toews the captain of the Chicago Blackhawks, but he was my boyfriend in my mind and I was going to meet him in eleven days.
***
“Ara.” Lizzy called, trying to get my attention, but I was too focused on my trembling hands and fluttering stomach. “Arabella.” My head snapped up with the use of my full name. “Jesus Christ,” she said in a patronizing tone, “calm down, Ara. He’s not even going to remember you.” I glared at Lizzy from under my heavily made-up lashes.
“Lizzy, he’s going to immediately fall madly in love with me and we’re going to get married and have beautiful children together.” As if on cue the baby curiously grabbing her father’s shirt in front of us in line started crying. Her small blue eyes made contact with mine for a second before I finished my retort to Lizzy. “So stop being an ass because jealousy is not becoming on you.” Like a child I stuck my tongue out at her. In return she mocked being offended.
A security guard was slowly making his way up the line to make sure everyone was wearing a VIP wristband. When he had finally moseyed his way up to us, Lizzy and I both flashed our neon green bracelets. His eyes went from the bracelet to my eyes before he clutched at his lower abdomen. The father holding his baby precariously into his chest showed his band to the guard as well, before pulling him aside and asking him, loud enough for us to hear, if he could go and change his daughter’s diaper and still have his spot in line. The guard shook his head no before mumbling an insincere apology. The father got out of line and proceeded to the bathrooms up in the stands. Once the security guard finished checking the wristbands he too bolted up to the bathrooms in the stands.
An announcer got on the loud speaker at Allstate and welcomed us all to the charity game, and declared the arrival of Jonathan Toews and Patrick Sharp. I peaked my head out from the side of the line and caught a glimpse of the two hockey all-stars. They were seating themselves at the table several hundred people were waiting to go up to. The line moved slowly, and my impatience only fueled my nerves- minutes felt like hours and I was on the verge of tears after waiting in line for a half an hour. The impending meeting between Mr. Toews and myself was the only chance I was going to have at truly wooing him. I had one-shot and I had to make it count and Lizzy was sarcastically giving me the speech from Miracle on Ice. She leaned in close, her mouth inches from my ear and said “Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here tonight.” She put both of her hands on my upper arms and shook me for added emphasis. We were
five people away and I did not have time for her nonsense.
“I’m literally going to murder you. Stop it. Now.” I whispered curtly over my shoulder. Each person in front of us left with a smile on their face and an autograph in their hands. Each person that left was another step I got to take toward Jonathan and his perfectly sculpted torso. There were two people in front of me and I could see Jon’s nonchalant smile over their shoulders. I chewed on the inside of my lower lip in an attempt to release some of the tension in my muscles. One more person I thought. My heart was beating in my ears as I approached the table cautiously.
“Hey.” He said looking up at me, I couldn’t make eye contact with him, my body would not allow it.
“Hi.” I murmured as I softly placed a Blackhawks flag, previously signed by a couple of no-name
Hawks, on the table.
“This is awesome.” His eyes were focused on the flag and trying to sign it.
“Thanks.” One word responses were all I could come up with at this point. After he scrawled his name in the lower left-hand corner, he looked up at me again.
“Nervous?” He chuckled. I had to force myself to look into his eyes, and holy hell it was worth it.
“Just a bit.” I said, keeping his gaze. Jonathan clutched at his stomach. His knuckles turned white as they clenched into a fist. Patrick Sharp looked over at his friend.
“You okay?” He asked.
“No,” Jonathan tried to whisper to Patrick, but his voice was just loud enough for me to hear, “I literally just shit my pants.” Lizzy poked her head out from behind me and asked me what was going on, and I successfully whispered what I had overheard. I regretted telling her immediately.
“Jonathan,” She chimed into the conversation the two friends had been having about Jon’s uncontrollable bowels, “don’t worry. Ara has that affect on people.” Patrick looked from Lizzy to me and immediately understood what she had said. His hands went to his stomach, and Patrick knew he could no longer tease his friend for crapping his pants.
“OhmyGod.” My eyes went wide as I swiped my flag from the table and ran out of the meet and greet room like I was competing for gold in the Olympics.
***
“Ara.” Lizzy called, trying to get my attention, but I was too focused on my trembling hands and fluttering stomach. “Arabella.” My head snapped up with the use of my full name. “Jesus Christ,” she said in a patronizing tone, “calm down, Ara. He’s not even going to remember you.” I glared at Lizzy from under my heavily made-up lashes.
“Lizzy, he’s going to immediately fall madly in love with me and we’re going to get married and have beautiful children together.” As if on cue the baby curiously grabbing her father’s shirt in front of us in line started crying. Her small blue eyes made contact with mine for a second before I finished my retort to Lizzy. “So stop being an ass because jealousy is not becoming on you.” Like a child I stuck my tongue out at her. In return she mocked being offended.
A security guard was slowly making his way up the line to make sure everyone was wearing a VIP wristband. When he had finally moseyed his way up to us, Lizzy and I both flashed our neon green bracelets. His eyes went from the bracelet to my eyes before he clutched at his lower abdomen. The father holding his baby precariously into his chest showed his band to the guard as well, before pulling him aside and asking him, loud enough for us to hear, if he could go and change his daughter’s diaper and still have his spot in line. The guard shook his head no before mumbling an insincere apology. The father got out of line and proceeded to the bathrooms up in the stands. Once the security guard finished checking the wristbands he too bolted up to the bathrooms in the stands.
An announcer got on the loud speaker at Allstate and welcomed us all to the charity game, and declared the arrival of Jonathan Toews and Patrick Sharp. I peaked my head out from the side of the line and caught a glimpse of the two hockey all-stars. They were seating themselves at the table several hundred people were waiting to go up to. The line moved slowly, and my impatience only fueled my nerves- minutes felt like hours and I was on the verge of tears after waiting in line for a half an hour. The impending meeting between Mr. Toews and myself was the only chance I was going to have at truly wooing him. I had one-shot and I had to make it count and Lizzy was sarcastically giving me the speech from Miracle on Ice. She leaned in close, her mouth inches from my ear and said “Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here tonight.” She put both of her hands on my upper arms and shook me for added emphasis. We were
five people away and I did not have time for her nonsense.
“I’m literally going to murder you. Stop it. Now.” I whispered curtly over my shoulder. Each person in front of us left with a smile on their face and an autograph in their hands. Each person that left was another step I got to take toward Jonathan and his perfectly sculpted torso. There were two people in front of me and I could see Jon’s nonchalant smile over their shoulders. I chewed on the inside of my lower lip in an attempt to release some of the tension in my muscles. One more person I thought. My heart was beating in my ears as I approached the table cautiously.
“Hey.” He said looking up at me, I couldn’t make eye contact with him, my body would not allow it.
“Hi.” I murmured as I softly placed a Blackhawks flag, previously signed by a couple of no-name
Hawks, on the table.
“This is awesome.” His eyes were focused on the flag and trying to sign it.
“Thanks.” One word responses were all I could come up with at this point. After he scrawled his name in the lower left-hand corner, he looked up at me again.
“Nervous?” He chuckled. I had to force myself to look into his eyes, and holy hell it was worth it.
“Just a bit.” I said, keeping his gaze. Jonathan clutched at his stomach. His knuckles turned white as they clenched into a fist. Patrick Sharp looked over at his friend.
“You okay?” He asked.
“No,” Jonathan tried to whisper to Patrick, but his voice was just loud enough for me to hear, “I literally just shit my pants.” Lizzy poked her head out from behind me and asked me what was going on, and I successfully whispered what I had overheard. I regretted telling her immediately.
“Jonathan,” She chimed into the conversation the two friends had been having about Jon’s uncontrollable bowels, “don’t worry. Ara has that affect on people.” Patrick looked from Lizzy to me and immediately understood what she had said. His hands went to his stomach, and Patrick knew he could no longer tease his friend for crapping his pants.
“OhmyGod.” My eyes went wide as I swiped my flag from the table and ran out of the meet and greet room like I was competing for gold in the Olympics.
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I'm really sorry you had to read this.