Fireworks

Do you remember us Gerard? I remember, my mom always told me I had a good memory. I hate it, especially now. I remember how you always would let me listen to all your new songs first, and how you always held me in your arms all night long. I remember a lot of things, especially those things.
I never wanted to force you to be with me, I would never do that to you. I care about you too much. Seen how that can hurt people, and I would never hurt you Gerard.
You'd would never hurt me too, I'm sure of it. Everyone says you have, but I don't see it like that. No matter what they say. I know you love me, you don't have to say it out loud though.
I miss you Gee, I can't sleep alone anymore. I'm too used to having your warm body next to me, your arms around me. While I sat on my bed all night long waiting all I did was think of you. You never did come home, but that's okay. It probably was for an important reason anyway.
I'm sorry about what I said to you the other day, I didn't mean to upset you. I wasn't thinking, I swear I didn't mean it. I didn't mean or want to call you a liar, I was just in a fit of rage. Too tired to think rationally after staying up all night waiting for you. Now your gone, even just for a night I'm lonely. At school they're worried about me, they say I have a lot of bags under my eyes. They asked if I was having trouble with you. Being as though you were living with me after your mom kicked you out. I immediately told them no, we're not having trouble. We're just fine.
Until I walked into my, no OUR bedroom to see you and her in it. Clothes discarded on the floor, the necklace I gave you for our one year anniversary thrown on the floor. You looked up as she giggled, eyes dilating seeing my face in your view. "Frankie?" You said so quietly, as if you thought I wasn't really there.
I walked out, walked out of my own room and house. I then ran as far as I could, still only thinking about you. I still don't know how in God's name I did, but it happened.
Remember our first time Gee? My mom wasn't home and it was our 3 month anniversary, you were so slow and gentle. It was all I wanted it to be and more, because you're perfect. Perfect. And I guess I just wasn't perfect enough for you.
February 8th, Friday. Mid afternoon. I was crying as you walked into the house, half drunk half sober. Yet still so beautiful. "Frankie, why are you crying?" You asked me, sounding annoyed and pissed off. I heavily sighed and tried to keep the tears in for a minute.
"It's over."
Silence, until you heavily breathed in. "WHAT!?"
"It's over Gee, I'm so sorry. I-"
"YOU CAN'T BREAK UP WITH ME!" You suddenly punched me in the face, I sunk back further into the couch. The tears all coming out now, "Frankie.... FUCK! Frankie, I didn't mean it. I swear." You said running to my aid, about to touch my swelling cheek when I dared to ask you;
"Then why did you cheat on me?"
You again were somber,"I don't know Frankie, maybe being bisexual isn't for me."
You turned around ready to walk away, until I had my own thing to say. "YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME! YOU TOLD ME I WAS THE ONLY ONE! YOUR MOM KICKED YOU OUT AND I LET YOU, MY BOYFRIEND OF TWO WEEKS MOVE INTO MY BEDROOM WITH ME! THEN TO HAVE YOU NEVER COME HOME, AND FIND YOU FUCKING SOME SLUT IN OUR-NO ACTUALLY MY BED! HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL GERARD!? HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT SITTING AWAKE ALL NIGHT WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME!?" My anger overriding the depression that had clouded my head for weeks.
Gee, you took one look at me and shook your head. "I think we shouldn't be together Frankie."
I nodded, "It's for the best."
"Yeah..."
"My mom always said, 'If you love someone, you should set them free."
You walked to my front door, turning with a light smile on your face. "Whatever Frankie." I giggled, making you smile more. "I'm gonna be envious of whoever makes you happy, because I can't do that for the life of me. And I was cheating on you most of our relationship."
My smile dropped as you slowly shut the old, dark wood door. I felt tears in my eyes again, "You went and threw it away Gerard. All of it." I whispered to no one, clutching my hands and trying not to hurt myself.