Wasted Nights

Vic was back to lying on his back in his bunk, staring at the ceiling above him. I walked right up to the bunk and got in with him, lying face-up beside him. He sighed beside me and turned his head to look at me.

"You're such an idiot," I said, bluntly.

"I know," he said.

"No really, Victor, you sir, are a fucking moron," I said, suddenly bursting into uncontrollable giggles.

"What the?" Vic said, bursting into laughter himself. "Why are you laughing?!"

I shrugged between giggles, "I don't know, why are you laughing?"

We laughed for a few seconds then stopped and our eyes met for a second and just like that, everything was understood. We were fine. We always would be. No matter what moronic things we did or said, we'd always be there for each other. It was just understood.

"I'll bet Steph's pissed," I said.

He nodded, "Yeah," he said, putting his hands up to his face and covering it, "I screwed that up so bad, Niki."

"Sure did," I said.

"She gave me an ultimatum! You know how much I hate that shit, right? Like who are you to make me decide who to be friends with?" he said, incredulously.

"Yeah," I sighed, "But in her defense, given the situation, she wasn't exactly wrong to ask you to choose..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Mike told me what you said last night," I said, craning my neck to look at his face.

His face scrunched up a bit, I could feel him cursing Mike in his head and I figured he'd probably go beat Mike up later for blabbing.

He shrugged, "Yeah, well, I meant what I said. At least I was honest with her, rather than lead her on..."

I nodded, "Guess so."

"You know, it was never going to work, anyways. She would have gone back home and then the touring would have gotten to her, again, and she would have left me, again. I could feel it happening. She can't keep up with my lifestyle," he continued.

"Then it's for the best, though if you sensed that you could have ended it in a better way," I lectured, "You didn't have to rip the poor girl apart, you didn't have to get me involved," I stressed.

"I know," he mumbled, "I know I screwed up. Hopefully she'll forgive me in due time."

"Yeah, in due time," I nodded, "Like when she's in a wheelchair and you're suffering from liver failure and are balding."

He smiled, "Yeah, can't say I'd blame her. I'd hold the same grudge if it were me."

"Same here," I said.

"You know it's funny...I expected to gain more clarity the older I got. I expected to know what I want out of life and what the right choice was and how to make it and follow through with it, but I'm just as lost now as I've ever been."

"You know Zack says that people don't really change, they just age..." I replied.

Vic frowned, "So, what? Are you and Zack hooking up now or something?"

"What? No, he's a friend, Vic," I said, defensively. "A friend who was there for me when I was falling apart cause of you, might I add."

"I'm sorry," he said, still staring at the ceiling.

"I'm not going to say I forgive you because I haven't yet," I said, being blunt again.

He nodded, "Yeah, I understand. I know it will take some time, hopefully not as long as Steph will take to forgive me?"

"We'll see," I said, smiling slowly.

He sighed deeply, his chest rising and falling slowly as he closed his eyes and drifted away into his thoughts. I stared at his face for a few seconds, wondering what this meant. He said he loved me, yet he didn't seem to be in a hurry to get back with me. I sighed and turned my body away from his, closing my eyes. He turned and put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. I smiled to myself slightly. Things were going to be alright...in due time.