Wasted Nights

We're up all night to get lucky.

"Get the hell out of bed," I heard, as someone poked and pushed me awake.

"Wha-" was all I could get out before a party whistle was blown emphatically in my face.

"Happy birthday, Niki!" I heard a chorus of voices yell as I cleared my eyes and focused in on the scene in front of me.

Vic, Mike, Tony, Jaime, Dylan and the rest of the crew were all standing in front of me with a circular cake with thick, white frosting on it. The text said "Happy Birthday, You Crazy Cat, We Love You!" I pushed myself up by my elbow and smiled ear-to-ear as I jumped out of my bunk into Tony's arms.

"Aw, thanks you guys," I said, hugging them all in turns.

I had not expected the guys to wake me up at midnight to wish me, let alone get me a cake and whatnot. Not to mention, they were all dressed up and it looked like we were going to do a lot more than just eat cake at midnight. We had had a really stressful couple of days on this tour, a few shows with technical troubles, a show where the set was cut short. Basically, we all needed a reason to get shitfaced and my birthday happened to crop up at an opportune moment. Not to mention, we had the next day off, so that meant that the party could go on indefinitely.

"Thanks, Mikey," I said, kissing his cheek as we all grabbed plastic forks and digged into the cake. I was surprised to see it was red velvet, "You guys know me so well," I said, feeling so grateful to be turning a year older with such special people.

After the cake was essentially demolished, Vic said, "Niki, you need to go get your little black dress on, we're going out," he said, winking.

I smiled, nodding, I got up and went to the back of the bus and looked into my suitcase for something to wear. Luckily, I had shaved my legs the night before so I didn't have to worry about wearing a short dress. I felt particularly confident today, I guess all the birthday attention was bloating my head a bit. I settled on a coral mini dress that was strapless and stopped a few inches above my knees. I paired that with some nude pumps and fluffed my hair, putting on a thin film of kohl in my eyes, a touch of lipgloss, and tossing on some pearl earrings. Keeping it classy, even when I'm about to get trashy, I thought to myself with a smile.

"Let's go get drunk, guys," I said, popping out of the back lounge as the guys yelled enthusiastically.

*

"Can I get you something to drink?" Vic asked, pulling me close by the waist and speaking into my ear.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'll have a rum and coke, please," I said, smiling widely.

He smiled back and walked off to get us our drinks, in the meanwhile, Dylan dragged me on to the dance floor by the arm.

"Dance with me, girl," he said, laughing as we both moved to the music.

The bass was boosted and I could suddenly feel an unparalleled rush of adrenaline surge through me as I ran my fingers through my hair and started moving, swaying my hips and shaking to the beat. I put my arms around Dylan's waist, pulling him closer and dancing closer to him. He turned me around by the waist, putting his hands on my hips as we started to grind to the beat. I rested my head back on to his shoulder as we goofily danced and sang along to the song.

"You suck at rapping, Dylan," I said, laughing as he tried to rap along to the song.

"Damnit, I didn't know you could hear me over the music," he laughed, as we continued to sway to the music.

Suddenly, all the guys showed up from wherever they had all wandered off to and we all formed a little circle and danced together, putting our arms around each other and singing along. We were all so drunk and I had my arm around Mike's waist to keep me balanced.

"Yo, I need some air, come with?" Mike asked me.

I nodded, and he held my hand and herded us through the crowded club and we walked out into the chill night. I immediately started rubbing my arms up and down as the cold hit me all at once. Mike giggled and took his hoodie off and draped it on me, he was so tall that his hoodie was practically as long as my dress.

I giggled, "Mikey, it looks like I don't have pants on."

"Well, you really don't have pants on, Niki," Mike said, smiling at me as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"Oh, yeah, right," I mumbled, pulling the hoodie closer and looking out into the night. "Everything's so quiet out here," I said.

Mike nodded, "Yeah, so quiet."

"I don't ever want this night to end," I said, softly.

Mike exhaled a bout of smoke around us, replying, "Me either, man. This night is perfect."

"You have me to thank for that," I joked.

"Oh yeah?"

"My birth was what graced this joyous day and made it as wondrous as it is," I said.

"You're the weirdest drunk ever, Niki, you get all disoriented and slurry one second and the next second you're using SAT words like a boss," Mike said.

"I like to switch things up," I smiled.

"Come on," Mike said, putting out his cigarette and putting his hands on my shoulders and leading me ahead of him into the club.

"Your drink," Vic said, holding it out to me.

"Thanks, hon," I said, taking it from his hand and taking a sip.

He pulled my head closer to his lips with his hand and said into my ear, over the music, "I saw you getting all hot and heavy with Dylan."

I laughed, "We were just dancing, you know that," I replied.

He shrugged, "It's all good, I was dancing with that hot blond over there," he said, pointing to this girl who was with a bunch of girlfriends, bobbing up and down in a short black dress.

"Impressive," I said, "She's a ten, Victor."

"Nah, she's a seven at best. There's only one ten in this club and I'm staring at her," he said.

"You are so drunk," I laughed. Vic never used cheesy pickup lines unless he was really tipsy.

"True," he said, moving my bangs out of my eyes, "But you know I'm not just saying that."

I smiled at him, putting both my arms around his neck, "Shall we?" I asked.

He nodded, and we both made our way to the dance floor. Vic only ever danced with me because he felt really awkward dancing in public, but I always made him loosen up and have a good time. Though, apparently that blond chick had gotten him to dance too, I thought as we started moving to and grinding along to the song. I shrugged it off, thinking nothing of it. I had no right to judge the guy when I had grinded with his brother and all his friends.

"You're staring, Niki," Vic whispered into my ear, as he caught me staring at the blond chick.

I shook my head, signaling that I wasn't staring at her, "I'm not."

Vic smirked, "You don't have to be jealous, Niki, she'll probably be down for a threesome," he joked.

Suddenly, the joke wasn't so funny to me anymore. I felt this really weird indigestion kind of feeling in my stomach and I knew it had nothing to do with the excessive amounts of cake, or alcohol. I suddenly felt really overwhelmed with random emotions that I had no idea how to control. I smiled feebly at Vic and put all my energy into dancing and starting looking around the club rather than at him. Jaime and Tony came up behind us, which was a welcome distraction. I turned away from Vic and faced them, trying to pretend like I was still having a good time.

"I'm just gonna go pee," I yelled up to Tony. Damn, even when I have pumps on he's so much taller than me, I cursed.

"I'll come with you," he said, immediately getting all big-brotherly on me.

He walked me to the Ladies Room and waited outside as I stumbled in, tripping slightly on my heels. Luckily, there weren't any pukers in there. It was just me. I gripped the marble sinktop and stared at myself in the mirror for a few seconds, sighing.

What am I doing here? I thought. What the hell, Niki? What are you doing? You're not even with him. He's allowed to flirt with and dance with whomsoever he pleases. Not to mention, I was letting loose and doing whatever I wanted to, myself. How could I judge him for literally doing the same thing?

But it wasn't the same thing, was it? It wasn't the same thing because he knew that I was dancing with my best friends and everything was amicable between us. He was dancing with random girls who he was attracted to and I realized that I wasn't okay with that. Would he really do that to me, though? Would he really hit on someone on the night of my birthday with me right here? Would he really do that to me after he said he loved me...

But that was a few weeks ago. A lot can change in a few weeks; Vic's always been confused about his feelings. It took him two days to leave me for Stephanie, who's to say that his feelings for me haven't just evaporated as suddenly as they appeared? Was I just an object of affection because he wanted what he didn't have?

I heard a faint knock on the bathroom door, "Niki? You okay in there? Are you throwing up?" I heard Tony call out.

Suddenly I started to tear up, tears gushed down my face in a frenzy. I started sobbing and I tried to muffle it by shoving the ends of Mike's hoodies arms into my mouth.

"I'm fine," I said, my voice muffled and throaty.

He knocked at the door a few more times, before saying, "I'm coming in, Niki," and slowly came in.

I removed my hands from my mouth and simply stared at him with tears falling down my face. "Why does he do this to me, Tony?" I asked.

"Niki..." he said, rushing over and wrapping me in a hug. "Please don't cry, dude. It's your birthday, don't cry."

"He doesn't seem to care that it's my birthday," I said, putting my arms around him and leaning into him.

"You know he planned this whole thing, right? The cake and the club, he picked everything out...right down to what we wrote on the cake," Tony said, as he rested his head on top of mine.

"Really?"

He nodded. "He loves you, Niki. Maybe he sucks at showing it, or shows it at the wrong times, or in the wrong ways...but he definitely loves you. He loves you more than you'll ever know, you need to know that," he said, cupping my face in his hands and wiping my tears away.

"Thanks, Tony," I said, wiping my tears away with finality. Suddenly I felt alright again. "Screw this, " I said, "I came here to party!"

"Atta girl," Tony said, patting my back, "Come on," he said, grabbing me by my hand.

Just as we walked out of the restroom, we ran smack into Vic who was coming out of the Gents. "Oh," he said, looking very skeptically at Tony's arm around my waist and my body leaning very comfortably on his.

"Hey, wanna dance?" I asked him.

He shook his head, "No, thanks," he said, walking away from me abruptly.

"What just happened?" I asked Tony.

Tony shrugged, "Beats me. Forget him, let's go have fun," he said, pulling me on to the dance floor.

He dropped me off right at the center of the floor where the rest of the guys were still dancing and singing, and he went off to get us more drinks. I spent the rest of the night bouncing and dancing around with the guys, not even thinking about Vic for a second. We sang and yelled until our throats began to crack and we danced until our feet tingled.

"No more," Jaime said, holding his tummy as we walked out of the club.

"Someone carry me please," I begged, as Tony laughed and effortlessly carried me as we walked back to the venue.

"Hey, where'd Vic run off to?" I heard someone ask as I closed my eyes and put my head on Tony's shoulder.

"Dunno," Tony said, "He just left halfway, I'm guessing he's back at the bus."

After a few minutes, I felt a mattress under me and it was all I could do to say goodnight to Tony before I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.