The Opportunity Has Just Begun

Geno startled the moment I rushed back into the room to grab my things.

“Cam,” he stood up in a hurry, “I need you know I am sorry.”
“Geno,” I sighed picking up my bag, “saying your sorry isn't going to change what happened.”
“Not want to change it,” his chest heaved like he was getting angry with me.
“Look now is not the time, please,” I pulled my bag over my shoulder and headed for the door.

I looked back to see him sitting on the edge of bed his head in his hands. At any other given circumstance that Geno was clearly upset I would have comforted him. I would have wrapped my arms around him and hugged him until whatever it was bothering him went away but not this time. This time he was going to have to find some other way to deal with it.

He looked up at me, his eyes telling me how sorry he was, how much he needed us to be ok but I couldn't just let it be. I wanted it to be but we had other things we both needed to sort out first.
“I will see you later,” I grabbed the door handle waiting for a response that was never going to come before leaving.

I headed into my room saying another thank you to Kadar on the way and laid around waiting for Adam to get back to me.

'You want me to make lunch or are you busy.'
'I am not hungry, I will be there in 10 minutes.'

I didn't want to go out anywhere public with him, it was going to be hard enough as it was to let him down without doing it in front of a bunch of strangers.

I climbed out of the taxi and reluctantly walked the stairs to his apartment.

It was going to be far from easy. As much as I didn't want to I knew it was what I had to do, I couldn't pretend that everything was alright. Sure Geno had kissed me but I had kissed him back, I had wanted it as much as he did and poor Adam was left in the blue.

I had hardly been thinking of Oksana, she had been doing far worse with some other guy but it had nothing to do with me. I could only be angry at myself for my own actions, what Geno did was his choice.

My heart sunk when I saw Adam standing at the door a huge smile on his face.
“Hey,” he yanked me in for a warm hug but I couldn't make myself hug him back, “is something wrong?” he pulled back keeping his hands tight on my shoulder's.
“Yeah...” I stepped back needing to not be touching him so I could actually go through with this.
“Do you want to come in, maybe I can help.”
“Believe me you can't, I just need you to listen,” I put my hands up to stop him as he stepped closer.

“Cam,” he eyed me up and down looking very weary of me like I was maybe a lost child who could break at any second, “are you ok?”
“No,” I sighed, “No I am not ok, in fact I am far from ok, everything going on right now is just...” I stopped before I got too far into my ramble. I had to just get to the point.
“What's going on?” he frowned.
“I kind of... well the other night Geno kissed me.”
“And you kissed him back,” he sighed knowing exactly what had happened.
“I am sorry, I am so unbelievably sorry.”

I didn't really know what I expected as a reaction, maybe if he got angry or something but he didn't he was calm, at least on the outside.

“Are you going to say something?”
“I don't really have anything to say,” he shrugged, “I mean I guess I knew it was going to happen.”
“What does that mean?” I narrowed my eyes at him, “you knew it was going to happen?” I scoffed growing rather irritated with his inability to trust me.
“I didn't mean it like that, I mean I guess I kind of knew you had feelings for him and I mean it's me I am not the luckiest guy when it comes to girls.”
“There's nothing wrong with you,” I let my voice soften not wanting to be mad when I knew I had done wrong by him, “I just need to concentrate on hockey right now. But if you think I am going to end it with you so I can be with him then your wrong.”
“Not even just a little bit?” he scrunched his face up not really believing me.
“No,” I chuckled, “I am not.”

I hated that no matter how angry or annoyed I was with Adam ever that I just couldn't stay that way. Even in the middle of breaking up with him he was still making it impossible to do and down right impossible to feel like it was the right thing.

“Good because if I lost you to him then I think I could probably turn off girls all together.”
“What?” I laughed, “Adam that is so weird, your...” I sighed not knowing what to say to him anymore, “I should go, I should really go, umm I have a game to get ready for and Sid will kill me if I am not back in time. I will see you around,” I turned for the door.
“Cam?” he grabbed my arm, “I am happy you told me.”
“I know you like honesty and I wasn't going to start lying to you just because we are breaking up.”
“Good, I am glad.”

I managed to make it out of there before I was being dragged back into something I knew I wasn't going to commit to. Adam was nice, he was one of the greatest I had met but whether it was just the wrong time in life or we just really weren't meant to be together I was walking away before I decided what I had done was stupid.