The Opportunity Has Just Begun

"Cam get up your are going to make us late for practice," Sid ripped the blankets from my bed letting the morning cold chill me to the bone knowing it was the only way to get me out of bed.
"What's the point in going? You know Dan is going to tear shreads out of me," I rolled over and pulled the pillow over my head.
"And if you don't come it's going to be ten times worse."
"How can it get worse? He hasn't let me go out on the ice for three days now," I sat up, pushing my crazy bed hair out of my face trying but failing to tame it without a brush.
"It can and if you don't try it will," he said so purposefully like he knew exactly what would happen if I didn't get up.

"Sid," I scrambled out of bed, "what do you mean it will worse?"
"Cam your game is off," his eyes narrowed and I honestly hadn't seen Sid this worried about me since I found out about my diabetes, "your game is more than off, you are playing like... well like shit!" His voice raised enough for me to know this wasn't just Sid being a protective captain, "and if you don't do anything about it sooner or later you aren't going to be playing with us any longer."
"What do you mean?" I felt like a lost kid in a Target store trying to find their parents. I had no clue what Sid was on about and I knew he wasn't going to tell me either.
"Cam," he sighed shaking his head, "just trust me when I say you need to go to practice today and try your hardest, show everyone you are here for hockey and not just some publicity stunt."

I knew if I stuffed this up I would be letting so many people down. There were girls all over the country who looked up to me who would never forgive me if I didn't keep up give them someone to aspire to, I would let my family down, my dad, my brother, Sid, the whole team but most of all I would be letting myself down.

I sorted myself out enough that I had the courage to at least walk into the locker room. All eyes were on me straight away; confused, sad, apologetic, concerned and when I saw Geno his held a mix of all four emotions.

I turned stopped in the middle of the room for a moment thinking Sid would push me along and whisper some encouraging words but he didn't. He walked straight passed me and into the hallway that lead to Dan's office.

"Does anyone know what is going on?" I looked around the room hoping someone would finally enlighten me and put this whole thing to rest. No one answered though, the room had never so quiet, so quiet in fact I could hear my heart beating.

"Cam," Sid returned, his face showing no sign of emotion, lips pressed in a hard straight line, "Dan wants to see you. Geno you too."

This is bad, very bad. No one would talk, no one even batted an eyelid as I walked out the room following closely behind Sid. Even he wouldn't talk, he wouldn't turn to look at me or anything.

The last few steps to Dan's office were like torture, a cow being herded into a slaughter house was about the only thing I could imagine being this terrifying. My heart was beating so fast I though it was going to run straight from chest and my mouth, it was drier than a desert in the middle of summer.

Sid knocked on the door even though it was open and waited for Dan's approval for us to enter.
"Ah Cam, sit," he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. 

I felt my legs go stiff but Sid was nudging me forward and I could finally move again.

I took the seat in between Geno and Sid and sat not so patiently twiddling my thumbs while we waited for Dan to finish up whatever it was he was doing.

"Right," he looked up from his business and clicked his pen down before he dropped on the desk, "Cam we need to talk."
I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say, we both knew I wasn't playing to my ability and we both knew I needed to sort it out before I played again but the moment he rose his eyebrows at me I was stuttering out a quick, "yes."
"Good."

I sat there listening to him talk specifics, talking about my stats, production level and my work ethic making it very clear that I was lacking in every aspect of my game and that we needed to fix it.

"Now Sid, Geno and I have been talking, along with Ray and we are debating as to whether we think you are fit here. Sid and Geno seem to think you have got what it takes but Ray and I are unsure, we think maybe you need to be sent down to Wilkes-Barre until you are really ready for this."

I looked to Sid who couldn't even drag his eyes away from the desk in front of him to give me some kind of reassurance. Geno on the other case was quick to put his large hand on my shaking knee and try to reassure me through touch. As much as I appreciated the warmth though nothing was going to help right now.

"What do you think?" Dan looked me right on the eyes as if it was depending all on the answer I gave him.
"I-I don't know," I sighed feeling all the pressure get to me. Sid ripped his eyes from the desk and glared at me as if I had just done exactly what I didn't want to do, let him down.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Sid all but barked as Geno's hand clamped around my knee and I knew he felt just the same as Sid.
"I don't know," I felt something catch in the back of my throat and I knew if anyone put anymore pressure on me I would be bursting into tears. It was kind of like a defence mechanism I had.

"Well you either want to stay here or you don't Cam it's quiet that simple.," Dan sat back in his chair folding his arms arm cross his chest, "with the trade deadline coming up we could do with the space on the roster and if you aren't going to play to your ability we could use  that spot."
"I want to stay," my hands began shaking.
"Why should I let you? Why shouldn't I just dump you in the AHL and give Beau another shot. Right now he is showing more promise for the playoffs than you."
"Because-" I gasped trying to breathe, the stale air in the room making me feel dizzy with all that was going on.
 
Geno snatched my hand that continued to shake and linked his fingers with mine where I was more than happy to squeeze back. It didn't help all that much, but it was Geno so it did.
"Because I can do it... I am a better player," suddenly my voice was coming back, " I showed you I could do it at training camp this year, I kept up with everyone, I even kept up with Sid," I looked to my captain who nodded in approval with the words coming out of my mouth.
"But your not anymore," Dan flat out argued with a shrug of the shoulders.
"I still can, I have just been having a tough time lately."

Geno's hand squeezed mine again but not in a reassuring way, more of a 'I am sorry' as if he was taking the blame for my poor display.

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have let anything away from hockey get in the way. I am sorry."
"Cam sometimes sorry doesn't cut it," Dan moved forward as if it was his final words and there would be no more discussion.

"I will give you a week," he started back up again, "one week your numbers need to be up there with these two and I want you to be the first one here and the last one to leave both for training and the two games we have this week. But if you stuff up you are gone. You got that?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"You sure?"
"Yes," I repeated.
"Ok, go and get ready I won't you out on the ice and ready for drills."
"Ok," I wobbled as I stood up and headed for the door following Sid and Geno out.
"Oh and Cam... You owe me 30 suicides."
"Ok."

I stepped out of his office and began to walk down the hall when Geno yanked me into a nook where the water fountain was.
"Geno," I looked up feeling a little confused by his sad eyes.
"I am sorry," he pulled me into a tight hug that only meant I would relax and let all my feelings go.

"It's not your fault," I cried wrapping my arms around him, "I was just stupid."
"No," he tucked my head under his chin as if he could protect me.
"Cam not stupid, just make mistake," he ran his hand up and down my back, "everyone make mistake. But can fix."
"I have a week," I felt helpless knowing I was really going to have to bust my ass to keep this spot.
"Week fine, I help, not let you go."
"You will help me?"
"Yes, Everyone need help, just need know when ask."

I was feeling rather dumb as I cried into Geno's chest but I wanted nothing more than to stay right there in his arms. If he was willing to help me the least I could do was try my god damn hardest.