Doll Face
Un
“Cracks run down the mirror, how I wish I were pretty.” Were the whispered words, sung in the girl’s hoarse voice. Her face was staring disgustedly into the mirror on her vanity, eyes squinting at the reflection, fingers prodding at all her imperfections. A pimple here, a tiny bee sting scar there, the list was endless. A spattering of light freckles rested along the bridge of her nose. The pads of her fingers rubbed harshly against her lips as wishes of a smaller, prettier mouth ran through her mind.
Her mother’s words sounded in the deep crevices of her brain. “My doll faced baby, how cute you are.” Cute. Never beautiful, never pretty. Just cute. Cuuuuuute. Hideous word. Synonymous with wretched and ugly, she was just certain. “Hope my friends go blind so they don’t have to look at me.”
If only she’d been born into the skin of someone beautiful. Someone with an even complexion and no predisposition to acne. A daintier nose wouldn’t stick out like the one she was sure she had, no matter how many times she’d been told otherwise.
Through looking at the troll-like monster that stared back from the mirror, she groped inside the vanity’s many drawers until she pulled out the nail file she’d been searching for. With hands that trembled, she brought the thin black stick to her cheek, pressing the harshest side against her skin. She winced at the pain but didn’t stop, eager to see if it really was what was on the inside that counted. She wondered if her bones would be prettier if they weren’t covered with her beastly flesh. Red water trickled from her cheek, and she smiled. “I wonder if they’d notice if I disappeared today?”
Her mother’s words sounded in the deep crevices of her brain. “My doll faced baby, how cute you are.” Cute. Never beautiful, never pretty. Just cute. Cuuuuuute. Hideous word. Synonymous with wretched and ugly, she was just certain. “Hope my friends go blind so they don’t have to look at me.”
If only she’d been born into the skin of someone beautiful. Someone with an even complexion and no predisposition to acne. A daintier nose wouldn’t stick out like the one she was sure she had, no matter how many times she’d been told otherwise.
Through looking at the troll-like monster that stared back from the mirror, she groped inside the vanity’s many drawers until she pulled out the nail file she’d been searching for. With hands that trembled, she brought the thin black stick to her cheek, pressing the harshest side against her skin. She winced at the pain but didn’t stop, eager to see if it really was what was on the inside that counted. She wondered if her bones would be prettier if they weren’t covered with her beastly flesh. Red water trickled from her cheek, and she smiled. “I wonder if they’d notice if I disappeared today?”