As If

“What kind of problem?” Dean asks, confused.
“Do you think you could get out of volunteering and come over at my house?” Cas says, sounding desperate enough for Dean not to have to think twice before nodding.
“Sure, Cas. Just tell me where to come,” he says, already walking out and leaving his name-tag at the front desk.
Cas tells him where to drive and thanks him before hanging up.
Dean doesn’t even stop to find Sammy before he hops in the Impala and drives on the highway and towards the house Cas gave him directions to.
He is mostly worried on his way there so he doesn’t stop to consider what the fuck he’s doing until he’s already pulling up next to the house. It looks pretty nice and big for a man living alone and on the pay wage of a mall employee.

He walks up the steps in the front porch and rings the doorbell twice. He waits a few moments before he hears hurried steps and an upset Cas opens the door. His tie is askew and his hair is all over the place – which is an oddly hot sight for Dean’s eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asks as soon as he takes in what he’s seeing in front of him.
Castiel nods and grabs his arm, pulling him inside before slamming the door and locking it, putting the key in his pocket.
“O-kay…?” Dean says questioningly, his eyebrows raising in question.
Cas doesn’t speak for a moment, breathing deeply and trying to recollect himself. He really is a mess right now.
“Thank you so much for coming out of the blue, I really do appreciate it”, Cas says, looking straight into Dean’s eyes and talking faster than usual. “I wouldn’t have asked you if I thought it wasn’t necessary.”
“Come on, man, you’re worrying me. What’s up?”
“My sister Anna has this thing today that she really needs to attend – but she is the one who looks after the youngest of our brothers. She begged me to look after him instead – no one else would accept and now I see why”. A few dozen questions bubble inside Dean’s head – sister? Brothers? How many of them were there? Why hadn’t Cas mentioned them before? Should he ask about it? Or just let it be? – but there are more urgent matters to be dealt with.
As if he had read his thoughts, Cas shakes his head. “We can chit-chat after we’ve tamed the beast!”
Dean chuckles against his will but soon his giggles are cut off by what he sees in front of him, after following Cas to the living room.
A huge curtain rail is plunged straight through a glass door that leads to the backyard – that would explain the crash Dean had heard through the phone – but that isn’t the oddest thing in the room.
The winner for that place would be the small child standing on the sofa’s armrest, holding a rolling pin in his left hand and a silver tray in his right.
The child has got dirty blond locks splattered all over his forehead, sticking out in all the possible angles, two evil-looking hazel eyes and a grin so mischievous that even the world’s slyest trickster would envy.
The boy –no older than seven – sees the two of them and starts chuckling darkly, wielding his weapon higher.
Dean turns to look at Cas next to him, who returns his gaze with a defeated expression his face.
“Dean, meet my brother, Gabriel.”

Dean turns to look at Gabriel. The boy has jumped off the couch, dropped his weapons and is walking towards the two of them, his expression naughty. He stops in front of Dean and puts his hands on his waist.
“Who are you?” he asks, glaring at Dean.
“I-I’m Dean,” Dean mumbles, confused at the sound of Gabriel’s voice. Even his voice is sly.
“What are you doing here?”
“I asked him to come play with us,” Cas joins in, his face tense. Gabriel turns to look at him with a disbelieving expression.
“You mean you asked him to come help you, right?”
“Why would he need help?” Dean asks, raising an eyebrow at the kid. He wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or impressed by the boy.
“Everyone needs help with baby-sitting me,” Gabriel says, making a disgusted face at the ‘baby-sitting’ term. Dean laughs.
“Well, I’m here so that no one needs help and to have fun okay?”
“We’ll see,” Gabriel returns Dean’s determined gaze.
“Alright, let’s see. How about starting by going to the amusement park downtown?”
Gabriel’s jaw drops. “Really?”
“Yeah, kiddo, really. Go put your shoes on,” Dean winks at Gabriel, whose eyes widen before he darts off to find his shoes.
Dean turns to look at Cas, who had a worried expression plastered on his face.
“Dean, are you sure we should take Gabriel to an amusement park?”
“Trust me, all crazy kids need some amusement park time,” Dean replies. “Although I’m not sure I want to see how the kid’s all stuffed-up with candy and excitement.”
“I don’t want to find out,” Cas says, terrified and Dean laughs, shaking his head.
“We’ll be fine. I got this.”

After Gabriel and Cas are both dressed appropriately for a winter-time theme park, they all get out of the house and in the Impala – Gabriel letting out a “Wow” upon seeing the car – and Dean starts driving.
“Here’s the deal, Gabriel. We are going to think up a plan for this. We need to see how many rides we can go on in as little time as we can. Are you in?”
“Yep! But all of us have to go on the ride!”
“Well, your brother and I will go on the ones we can fit in on, alright?”
“Okay”, Gabriel says, hopping up and down in the backseat. Jeez, Dean really shouldn’t want to find out what sugar did to the kid.
Cas is sitting on the passenger seat, back turned slightly at the window so he can look at Gabriel more easily – of course Gabriel, he wouldn’t do it to look at Dean, like Dean’s mind hopes.
“How about you, Cas, you agree with the plan?” Dean asks, sneaking a sideways glance at the man next to him.
The corners of Cas’ mouth tilt upwards. “Yes, I do. It sounds like a good plan.”

They get to the park in about half an hour – in the meanwhile, Dean has quickly texted Sam apologizing for taking the car and briefly stating the situation he’s in – and by the time they get off the car, Gabriel is practically squeaking with excitement.
Dean thinks the kid looks adorable, bundled up in a rainbow hat and matching scarf.
He insists on buying a pass for Gabriel, denying Cas’ offer with the fact that Dean was the one who suggested they go in the first place.
They walk to the side where Dean wraps the pass around Gabriel’s wrist, who eyes it like it’s the most precious treasure in the world.
“Okay, we’re going to go on all of them in a row, but we will exclude the ones you don’t like, right?”
“Yep, okay. Then we’ll get cotton candy and go back and drink hot cocoa at Castiel’s house!” Gabriel shrieks excitedly, clapping his hands together.
“Whatever you want,” Cas smiles.
They set off, starting with a small roller-coaster ride, which is full of little kids yelling and laughing. Gabriel’s eyes are so wide that Dean thinks they could fall out of their sockets. Thankfully, most of the rides are for the children, so he and Cas stay on the sides, looking at Gabriel hop on ride after ride, screaming with excitement.
Not all of them are just for kids, though. Gabriel makes Dean and Cas ride with him in – oh no – the bumper cars ride. He insists that Dean and Cas ride one car together and try to beat him, who will be riding alone. They both protest lightly, but they decide to give in instead of corrupting Gabriel’s good mood.
Dean sits behind the steering wheel, swallowing hard once Cas squeezes in the seat next to him. The cars set into motion, jumping forwards and all the kid’s driving into each other, squealing. Gabriel looks determined to stay away from all of them, driving on the edges, and Dean thinks it’s about time he gets shaken a little bit.
He starts driving the little thing towards the boy, who notices him approaching and narrows his eyes, driving away. Dean hears Cas’ laugh on his side, and he turns to grin at him, seeing Cas’ cheeks and nose tinted red with chill and laughter. There are a few snowflakes here and there, sprinkled all over his hair and scarf, glistening as they melt away.

Gabriel wins in the end, screaming with joy when Cas’ hands him the huge snowman toy. The three of them then proceed to go to the cotton candy cart, Cas’ buying them three sticks of the sugary mess and then leading them to a roofed area where tired parents are begging their children to stay still for just a moment.
Gabriel’s cheeks are red and his eyes seem to have become permanently wide as saucer plates. He eats the cotton candy within minutes, the sugar registering pretty quickly and rendering him even more restless.
“Come on, we have three more games to play and then we go home!” he whines, pulling on Dean’s sleeve. “Dean, you said we have to play as much we can!”
“I know kiddo, let’s go. We’ll just finish our candy on the way,” Dean says and gets up, patting Cas on the back. “Come on, soon enough we’ll be back at your place drinking chocolate and watching over a sleepy kid”.
His words seem to affect Cas, who gets up and follows the other two towards the few rides they still have time to go on.
The last one they go on is an aiming game, with prizes that Gabriel eyes excitedly. However, the first time they play it’s just Gabriel throwing the balls, knocking over just a couple of tin cans. Pouting, he turns to his brother and Dean, crossing his arms.
“I want to win the big stuffed puppy” he whines, pretending to be hurt. Dean chuckles and pats Gabriel’s head.
“Don’t worry, I’ll give it a try”. He hands a dollar bill to the park employee and walks over to where the balls are. He easily knocks over the cans, earning an unimpressed look from the employee who hands him the puppy Gabriel has been drooling over.
“Thanks,” Gabriel says and squeezes the toy tight.
“So, let’s go drink hot cocoa, just as planned,” Cas says and Gabriel nods, following the two men to the car.
Dean turns the heating on to full blast as soon as they’re in the car. The drive back feels shorter – going there felt like ages because of Gabriel’s excited cries of joy in the backseat.

They get there soon enough, walking inside quickly – eager to get out of the cold.
Cas turns on the heating in the house and stands in the doorway to the living room, looking at the mess.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll fix it for now, until I can come back and replace the glass panel for you,” Dean says, smiling at Cas.
“I don’t know, Dean. You don’t have to do it, I’ll get one of my brothers to fix it soon”, Cas says, shaking his head. Dean frowns.
“Really, I’ll do it. I can fix it now, and now is better than soon”.
“I…Okay, I’ll worry about it later. Now I have a little brother who demanded chocolate”.
Dean laughs and nods, walking into the living room after watching Cas disappear down the hall – and definitely not checking him out as he went.
“So, let’s see where to start,” he mumbles to himself, looking at the curtain rail which they had the mind to remove before leaving.
He takes of his jacket and hangs it on a hook on the wall by the door, before turning to the curtain rail once more. He decides to start by putting the rail back on the wall, before asking Cas for a broom to gather the shattered glass. All the while, Gabriel is perched on the couch, watching him and babbling about how he won on random games in the theme park.
Cas comes back with three mugs of chocolate just in time to see Dean come back from taking the glass to the garbage can on the road.
“There you go,” he says, handing him the steaming mug.
“Thanks,” Dean replies and sits on an armchair. Now that there’s nothing odd – except for the broken glass panel on the door – he takes his time to look around. The room is extremely organized and painted with warm colours – it makes Dean feel comfortable.
Cas sits on the couch, next to Gabriel, and hands him the second mug. “Be careful, it’s pretty hot,” he warns the kid, who nods and blows on the mug a few times before tasting it.
“Wow, Castiel, I didn’t know you could make delicious chocolate. You have to make me more next time!”
“I sure will, Gabriel”.

It’s about one in the afternoon so Cas asks Dean to stay for lunch – he doesn’t have to go pick up Sam until four, so he accepts. As it turns out, Cas is also a pretty damn decent cook. He prepares epic lasagna for lunch and even Gabriel eats all of it – although that might be because Cas promise he would make him dessert if he ate all his food. Dean enjoys their company and, although he gets a bit awkward during flashbacks of his dreams of Cas, he enjoys himself as well. He finally makes up his mind that Gabriel is an awesome kid, even if he was pretty spoiled most of the time.
Cas is sweet and patient towards his baby brother, grateful that the worst part was over since Dean had decided to take matters into his own hands.
After lunch, Gabriel decides they should play charades, making himself the one who thinks of the words and putting Dean versus Castiel.
Dean laughs for a solid ten minutes as Castiel attempts to pantomime the world ‘snail’ but then his chuckles die in his throats when Gabriel makes him pantomime a caterpillar.
Cas wins in the end, having found nearly all the words Dean had been assigned. By the time the game is over, it’s half past three and Gabriel is half asleep in his seat.
“I have to go pick up Sammy,” Dean whispers, grabbing his coat and walking to the door. Cas follows him, making sure not to wake his brother, and closing the door that leads to the living room.
“Dean, wait.” He walks up to Dean, a small smile on his lips. Dean’s heart expands in his chest. “I want to thank you for helping me with Gabriel and for fixing the rail. I owe you for that”.
Dean grins at the man opposite him, lifting his shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, man, it was fun. Gabriel’s a fun kid.”
“I’m sorry, I had no idea what it was like watching over him – Anna is the one who took him in after our mother died”. Cas’ eyes darken slightly at that, but he blinks and the cloud is gone again. Dean places his hand softly on Cas’ shoulder.
“Cas, really. I didn’t mind looking after him, I had a great time,” he says and his grin grows wider when Cas smiles at him.
“I gotta run now, I’ll see you soon”. He turns to leave but Cas’ hands on his wrist stops him. He freezes, eyes darting to the man’s hand on his.
“Are you going to the hospital tomorrow?” Cas asks, eyes soft.
“I don’t know, are you?” he blurts out, without thinking how it sounds.
“Unfortunately, I have this thing to attend about literature so I won’t be making it tomorrow, no”.
“Oh, okay. Another time, then.”
Cas lets go of his wrist, nodding. “Bye, Dean.”
“See you around, Cas”.

* * *
“Stop,” Dean says as soon as Sam opens his mouth.
“But – ”
“Sammy”.
Sam stops trying to talk and just hops on the passenger seat, sighing at the warmth of the heating. He doesn’t try to get Dean to talk until they’re almost halfway home.
“So, what happened?”, he manages to get out without Dean shushing him.
“I had to help him with something, I told you”.
“Yeah, Captain Obvious – you didn’t tell me what the problem was!”
“Baby-sitting the Tasmanian devil in disguise, I suppose”.
“Baby-sitting? He’s got a kid?”
Dean rolls his eyes. “It’s his baby brother – well, not baby. He’s seven and extremely dangerous when sugar-deprived”.
Sam pretends to coo, arms fanning himself. “That is so cute, Dean”.
“Shut up”.
“Did you take him for a walk in the park and then gave him a piggy-back ride?”
There’s a short silence which has Sam raising his eyebrows. “You did?”
“Well… We went to the theme park downtown. I did not carry the kid”, Dean says defensively. Sam laughs anyway.
“I can’t even joke about that, man. You went on a date to an amusement park! That’s totally chick-flick,” Sam chuckles. “And don’t say it’s not a date”, he adds when Dean opens his mouth.
“It was not a date, I was just helping out with the little trickster.”
“Was the kid with you two all the time?”
“Well, no, but – ”
“Then it was a date and congratulations, here are the devastated ruins of your manliness.”
Dean feels his face grow hot as Sam’s laugh boomed beside him, his palm hitting his knee as he laughed.
Thankfully for his little brother, they have just arrived home so he doesn’t have time to get revenge before Sam jumps out of the car and enters the house. As he walks towards the door to the house, Dean feels a buzzing in his pocket.
He pulls his phone out and flips it open to see that he has one new text message – from Cas? His heart picks up – like a friggin’ teenage girl – as his opens the message.
‘Is tomorrow good for fixing the window? I’ve just bought what you’ll need – can’t do it on my own.’
He replies, saying that tomorrow will be just fine and asking when he should come over.
‘Five in the afternoon is the most convenient time. Thank you again, Dean.’
After confirming that he’ll be there at five and sending the text, Dean slips the phone back in his pocket and walks into the living room, where Sam is sitting on the floor in front of the couch, drinking coffee and going over one of his cases that he’d taken up a few days ago.
“I think I’m gonna skip volunteering tomorrow – I need to work on the car and I won’t be home in the afternoon to do it”, he says indifferently. Sam looks up from the folder, smiling like an idiot.
“Okay, Dean. Is it time for The Talk or can it wait until I’m done reading this?”
“No, it’s not time and it won’t ever be”, Dean rolls his eyes and goes over to the fireplace to light a fire for the evening.
Although he was hesitant about living with Sam in the beginning, he had at some point realized that it wouldn’t be a big change – he spent all his life taking care of Sammy and spending most of his time with him, so moving in with him wouldn’t be that big of a change. Another problem had come up when he had stopped working at the diner – a problem caused mostly by his ego and pride.
He had initially refused to stay with Sam, claiming that it wouldn’t feel right if just stuck around, living on Sam’s money. A combination of Sam’s arguments of how it would make him feel better to help his older brother for a change and an ample supply of his puppy-dog eyes, Dean had succumbed and agreed to stay.
It was a good choice, since they both liked the other’s company and taking care of each other in their own ways.

“Where are you going tomorrow afternoon, then?” Sam asks after an hour or so, looking up from the case.
“Gabriel somehow managed to crash a curtain rail through the glass door and I said I would fix it up for Cas,” Dean replies, poking around the fire to liven it up.
“So you’re going back to his house! Did he give you a tour today?”
Dean bites back another ‘Shut up, Sammy’ so as to not to come out as defensive – too defensive. Okay, maybe he had looked around when he asked to go to the bathroom and Cas’ gave him directions. And yeah, maybe he had taken in the small details around the house and made mental notes of where each room was. But that didn’t mean anything.
“Wait, his brother’s name is Gabriel? Awesome.” Dean rolls his eyes at his brother’s comment.
“Whatever, I’m hungry so let’s see what we’re having for dinner” he says and sits up.
“Didn’t you have lunch at your boyfriend’s a few hours ago?”
“Cas is not my boyfriend,” Dean grumbles.
“…Yet”.
“Sammy”.
“What! I’m just saying, I think you’ve got a huge crush on that guy, so why do you keep denying it?” Sam asks, sporting a huge bitch face.
“I’m not denying anything!” Dean cries out, before he realizes what he just said.
“Ha! Anything? So you do have a crush on that guy. Oh, Dean, I’m so proud of you, I think I’m gonna cry!”
Dean hurls a cushion at his hysterically giggling brother – Sam’s having a giggling fit twice a day and yet calls Dean a girl – who easily avoids it.
“So what if I do”, he mumbles, giving in. Sam’s grin grows more.
“Nothing. Just casually pointing out that you should do something about it because, even though I only saw the guy once, that one time he had such a doe-eyed expression when you weren’t looking, that I almost expected him to throw sparkly rainbow confetti over the two of you”.
Dean does his best to ignore Sam’s remarks but, however he tries, he can’t put out the small spark of hope in his chest.

Since Sam insists they wait a couple of hours more – it was only six in the afternoon – before having dinner, Dean gets up to go work on the car in the garage. He doesn’t really pay attention to what he’s doing, his mind running elsewhere – Cas’ smile when he looked at Gabriel and thought Dean was doing the same, the way he patiently followed the kid around the park, his touch on his wrist right before he had left.
He shakes his head to let go of that train of thought, focusing on the car that he has to fix instead.
The next two hours go by quickly, Dean’s mind being a tangled mess of Cas, smiles and feather-light touches.
Sam comes out looking for him around half past eight, telling him that he’s going out to get food and Dean just nods, telling him to not forget the pie, as always.
After Sam is gone, Dean goes up to take a shower, happy to rid himself of the dirt from the car.
Leaning his forehead against the tiles, he lets the hot water run over his back, his muscles relaxing under the flow. His hands find their way downwards, vivid images from his dreams coming to the front of his mind again – images of Cas leaning in to whisper in his ear and palms flat against his stomach. His breath hitches and he bites his lip to bite back a moan as his muscles tighten and then unclench with relief.
And if he’s moaning Cas’ name, it’s something that he’ll keep buried in his mind.

* * *
He wakes up around eleven the following morning, a bit later than he is used to, but seeing as he has nowhere to go, he lays around a little bit, mind lingering in the newest fantasies from his dreams.
At some point though, he decides it’s time to get up and does so, staying in loose grey sweatpants and a worn-out tshirt.
Sam must have gone out volunteering again so the house is empty and silent.
After a quick breakfast of cereal and coffee, Dean does exactly what he told Sam he’d do – work on the car more than he would naturally, because he won’t have a chance to do it later today.
He has been working on that car for the past week and a half – Bobby already called him once a day or two ago, asking how it was coming along. Dean promised him to have it read by the end of the week, so as to get it back before Bobby’s opened for business on Monday morning.
Sam comes back around two, carrying bags of groceries and six-packs of beer.
“Hey dude. What are we gonna have?” Dean asks, sitting on a chair in the kitchen and taking a look inside the bags that are filled with vegetables and organic foods – friggin’ health freak.
“Chicken and vegetables – no, Dean, don’t make that face, we’ve been having icky takeout for the past week”, Sam replies, taking out the groceries and putting them in the fridge and cupboards.
“Fine. Did you at least get pie?”
“No.”
Dean’s frown intensifies and Sam looks at him momentarily.
Dean groans. “You’re such a bitch!”
“Witty.”
“Bitch.”
“Jerk”.
* * *
After a while, Dean gets dressed into jeans and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, tugging a grey hoodie over his head before going back downstairs.
“Sammy, I’m leaving,” he shouts at Sam, who is down the hall and in the living room.
“Give a kiss to Castiel from me as well!” Sam’s voice reaches him, followed by a bout of laughter.
Groaning, Dean shuts the door behind him and gets to the Impala, getting in and turning the heat on.
He hums along to the song playing on the radio. At some point he gets too absorbed into his thoughts and almost misses a turn to Cas’ house but then he is there so everything else slips out of his mind.
Biting the inside of his cheek, he walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell once, swaying on the balls of his feet.
He hears footsteps approaching and nervously fiddles with the zipper on his hoodie, before the door opens and he looks up to see Cas, wearing nothing but faded jeans and a light blue t-shirt. It felt odd to see him without a sweater of some colour and – Dean had to admit – pretty hot as well.
Cas’ hair was wild as ever and Dean was curious to find out if the man messed it up on purpose or it was just naturally like that.
“Hello, Dean. Come in,” he says, and Dean shivers when he hears the gruff voice, in combination with what he’s seeing in front of him. He walks in and Cas closes the door behind him.
“I’ve got everything you will need ready in the living room – a toolbox and everything – but I was wondering if you’d like to have a cup of coffee first.”
“Sure, I don’t mind. It’s not like I have anywhere to be later, anyway”, Dean smiles.
“I don’t either, so that’s great”, Cas says and walks ahead, socks padding on the wooden floor as he walks into the kitchen.
Dean looks around, still impressed by the pristine state everything in this house seems to be in. “Your house is awesome.”
Cas turns and looks at him. “Thank you, Dean,” he says and proceeds to take two cups out of a cupboard and pour coffee. “If I recall correctly, you take yours black.”
Dean nods and accepts the cup Castiel offers him and watches the man pour himself tea from a kettle instead.
“So, how did your seminar go?” Dean asks, leaning on a counter. Cas does the same on the counter opposite from Dean, sipping tea quietly.
“It went well, thank you. How was your day?”
“Boring. I just fixed up a car I have in my garage, which I think will be ready for Bobby tomorrow.”
“That’s good to hear.” There’s a short pause where they both drink in silence, Dean avoiding looking at Cas, who speaks again after a while.
“I hope you don’t mind me saving your number on my phone,” he says, running the tip of his finger on the rim of his cup. Dean traces the movement for a bit before snapping out of it, realizing Cas is waiting for an answer.
“What? No, no, why would I?”
“Just making sure, because I was kind of hoping I’d get to call that number more often,” Cas says bluntly.
Dean’s throat goes dry and he looks up from his cup and directly at Cas – who is already staring right at him.
“Oh,” is his clever response. “Well, you can. Call it more often, that is. If you’d like, I mean,” Dean mutters, blinking a few times and feeling like an idiot.
Cas smiles – no, actually, he smirks – and doesn’t say anything else before going back to drinking his tea until his cup is empty, before he turns to rinse it out.
Dean almost stops his eyes from lingering down Cas’ slender figure – almost. He’s mostly lost in scrambled thoughts – because he has a slight suspicion that he just agreed to maybe-kinda-start-going-out with the man standing in front of him and the prospect of that happening makes his heart dance in his chest.
As if it hadn’t been dancing ever since he met those deep blue eyes back in the play room.